I Almost Died…Twice

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Electrocuted

Everyone told me to “take it easy” after they heard about the electrocution.  They said,”I know you’re a single Mom and you’re independent, but…”

Some said I could call on them if I needed help or “to be rescued” but I didn’t know any of the men that offered well enough to actually take them up on it.

My intuitive girlfriend said,”Maybe you neared or passed an exit portal and decided to stick around.”

That made me pause and wonder why I would have designed NOW as a moment to get out, when it seems like a lot of the struggle might actually be behind me…but you never know.

The water went out in my house. We have a well.

There are a lot of pumps and complicated machinery that lead from one to the next in the garage, and my ex-husband knows how they work but I don’t.

 

Things came back on after I spoke to my ex and I jiggled some things and I called the neighbor who has helped me before with this, he designs water systems.

He showed me the sparking – I actually saw the electricity – and said he’d be back on Monday with the stuff he needed to fix it.  This was Saturday afternoon.

By the time he left and I walked back in, the water was off to the house.

I contacted my ex and he specifically said “get a stick and hit the pump again.”  So I did.  I am trained to follow his instructions to the letter.

The next morning I tried again, except…even though he said “stick” and…even though I had watched the sparks…I put my hand right on it trying to located the lever my ex said “might do it, worth a shot.”

And that is when I was electrocuted.

I felt it go up my right arm, straight into my chest, and it seemed to stop under my throat, but realistically it probably went into my heart.

I paused there in the giant garage, acknowledging my reaction time at 50 has slowed waaaay down, and wondering if I shouted, could my kids hear me.

I tried, but they didn’t.  I was really unsteady for a few minutes.  Finally, I walked back up the stairs and told my oldest son what happened.  I called my ex and he said,”If you’re talking to me, you’re good.”

I have no idea how close I came to death or not.

It took four days to get the water back on.  I handled it calmly, showered before work at my dads, everything was okay.  Crisis averted.  Another problem solved “on my own” or “without a man”…sort of.

Stranded

The next weekend I was at a Tarot class and the kids were home with a sitter.  Saturday afternoon, eight miles from home, I heard the noise and again, it took me what seemed like far too long to react.  A few seconds later I pulled over to the side of the road and stopped on a pretty significant tilt to discover the tire above, a nice cut in the bottom.

Two and a half hours later the nicest lady tow truck driver and I were headed home with my car on a flatbed, because the tire lock key was “lost” and the regular AAA guys could not get the tire off to change it for me.  I hadn’t run anything over, the tire had just “failed” – exploded from the inside.

She looked a lot like Wanda Sykes, and as she walked over to me she said,”You didn’t sound too happy on the phone.”

I had already told her about the failure of the return of the tire lock key, how I’d called all over town, and no one had the right tool to remove it or was open until Monday, and how the AAA guys said I was in a really dangerous place and they put a “rush” on her rescue of me.

Two and a half hours of having trucks whoosh by and cars racing each other at over 100 miles an hour – well over – zooming past me.  Right that second three of them came by and she went “Whoooo!” and spun around.  She said,”I see what you mean.”

I told her the babysitter was going to cost me $95 but she was able to stay.  Said I was lucky the tire mysteriously failed where and when it did, without my boys in the car, close to home, and not on the Turnpike where I’d been driving the night before from my Tarot Group which is 70 miles from home.

I told her about the electrocution.  Told her how it was times like these when I got angry about being left on my own.

She said,”Girl, I don’t blame you. The life of a single Mom. I am amazed that you are laughing while you’re telling me all of this.  You do have a good attitude.”

I said, “If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry, right?  Better to laugh!”

I won’t say I wasn’t shaken up, because I was.

You’re Doing It Wrong

While I was sitting by the side of the road for all of those hours, I realized that I could talk to my Dad, my son, the babysitter, and my friend.  I could text and complain to my ex.  But who I couldn’t call were any of the men I’d been dating recently.

It gave me a big pause.

In that moment I decided that I needed something else.

Funny enough, The Virgo had started opening up to me about his life, for the first time in well over a year that we’ve known each other, just two days before the electrocution.  He pretty much stayed away after that. and though I spoke to him once or twice, I never did tell him that I almost died.

I’m not sure if The Virgo realized he’d started to get too close and pulled away again, or what his reason for not staying in such close touch was, but when you talk to someone all day every day for weeks and they suddenly…stop contacting you, for no reason and without a word, and this has happened before…well, it does make you think,”At least it would have been nice if I could have called him in an emergency, but I can’t.”

I saw the Aries the following week and things were getting pretty serious. The week after that the tire failed.  Things seemed to take a natural pause there as well.  We chatted a couple of times, but made no immediate plans to see each other again.

The Journey

I met someone else and the best I can say about him is that he is a smartass like The Virgo and we have an instant rapport.  He is far more mature but then again, he is a lot older.

He told me what he thought I needed to know about him right out of the gate, and the story was so stunning and tragic that he suggested we change the subject and I just sat there for a few moments unable to form words.

It made my two near death experiences seem like absolutely nothing.

The way he delivered it was so open and without any sense whatsoever of feeling sorry for himself, it made me almost embarrassed about the things I whine over being scared about.

At one point I said to him that each man I’d met since the separation had taught me something, and it was a bit like taking steps up a ladder.  He said,”It sounds like you’re on a journey” to which I replied,”Everyone is on a journey!”

He said,”Yes, but not everyone defines it by each meeting with a person of the opposite sex.”

Fair enough sir, fair enough.

You never know who is going to be important to you, and in what way.

This one happens to know a lot about breathing and showed me where an app was so I could train myself every day.  This was something that I have been told more than once that I needed to learn – pranayama actually – to quit smoking, breathing in fresh air instead of toxic smoke, something I do naturally as an empath to ground myself in an unhealthy way.

I’d been looking for over a year for somewhere to do breath work.  This guy just happened along and offered it up immediately…but I’m sure he’d say that was just a coincidence.  To me, there are no coincidences – or at least, they are rare.  Other people have our missing tire lock keys.

I am predisposed to look at life’s challenges as Life Lessons in the broad, spiritual sense.  To me they are like puzzle pieces and I can very distinctly pick out the elements that I learn from one person or experience and apply it to the next, like,”If I hadn’t met him, I couldn’t have dealt with that next one who came along.”

Everyone’s journey is different.  We often seem to know exactly what someone else needs to learn.  If it is natural to us, it’s like breathing, and maybe it does seem odd to others how we could be so advanced in some areas and so seemingly deficient in others.

It’s all a part of the great mystery and I am enjoying being in the unknown now.  You never know what’s going to happen next.  Glad I didn’t make any untimely exits.