This Is Not A Sad Post

Spirit Visits Through Song

My husband was supposed to come home this week to celebrate our anniversary, and he was to arrive on my mother’s birthday.  Of course he didn’t come home and my mother is long gone, so I scheduled the dog’s second surgery for our anniversary, got some cake to eat with the kids, and lit a yahrzeit candle.  I am pretty sure you are not supposed to light a candle on someone’s birthday but year after year, that’s what I seem to always do.

The candle sits in my sink to avoid setting the house on fire, and something about its little 24 hour glow is encouraging and soothing.

I knew my mother was around this week because I kept having songs pop into my head which she used to sing to me.  It started with I love you truly, truly dear.  These are songs that you’d forgotten all about until something pokes you to listen to what is happening in your head and suddenly you become aware of their presence.

Teach Your Children Well?

Last week my son asked to borrow my tiny pocket knife so he could break apart the checkers in the tiny game the dentist gave him after having his first cavity filled.  Problem is, it was a long car ride home and he decided to cut tiny circles in his brand new $30/pair Lands End school shorts.

I am usually a fairly lackadaisical parent.  I let them proceed with fighting each other unless it sounds like bloodshed is imminent.  Again, that’s because I’m lazy and if I am already in my pajamas I don’t want to have to go to the emergency room for a broken arm or leg, and some nights after work and all of the homework related activity and making dinner, when the,”HELP ME!” wafts out to my residence on the porch, I only get up based upon the pitch.

Recently when they’ve both come out to complain about the wrongs the other one has committed, I’ve taken to telling them that I am not interested in being a referee and they are old enough to work it out amongst themselves.  That got me two looks of disbelief but they both walked away and let me get back to my unwinding, so I am calling it a win.

Sometimes though my parenting code kicks in, and such was the case with the cutting of the shorts incident.

I told him to break out his wallet and give me $30.

This is the child who was born with the Money Gene and he has been counting, hoarding, collecting, stealing and hiding coins and paper money ever since.  He often carries around coins from around the world, including casinos his father has visited, in his pocket and takes them out to review which countries they are from and how that would convert into buying power in the US.  He is six.

You have never seen such a conflict within the heart and mind of a small child as when he had to part with that money.

“But MOM.  Do you want your own child to be poverty stricken??  Then I will have no money!”

Yes, he gets his dramatics and use of language from me.

The Pink Panther

I heard the theme from The Pink Panther twice this week

There were footprints in the carpet from the door to the copy machine and they looked like someone had pink chalk on the bottom of their feet when they tromped through.   Someone pointed this out and started humming the theme from The Pink Panther as everyone poked their heads out of their offices to take a look.

Then a video of some cute dogs herding a cat also had the theme music.

That was weird enough for me to take notice and wonder what in the world could be the significance of that?

The next day found me in the midst of two mysteries.  One was about a blogging stalker and the other was a work-related incident which had my mouth open and repeating,”Wow.  Wow!” because it was so shocking I just couldn’t find the words.  In both cases it was a little like being Inspector Clousaeu, who I was reminded might have been a bumbling idiot but who always wins in the end.

Mercury Retrograde As A Time Of Inspiration

I don’t necessarily expect all manner of chaos and breakdowns during a Mercury Retrograde, because I engage the process of discovery.  I am not shy about going into the Shadow and in a way I look forward to it, because it gives me the opportunity to slow down a few times a year and do the inner work.  Ultimately it is a learning phase that I have come to appreciate for what it brings to my depth of understanding.

Naturally I bought Robert Ohotto’s podcast, which was five hours long, and I also got caught up on all of his recent podcasts, many of which worked with the theme of the retrograde and went deeper into some subjects.

Late at night and early in the morning I have all the time in the world, bored to death as I am without my husband here.

I’d listen on lunch breaks too, and I didn’t have each podcast loaded into my phone because the man likes to talk and some of the downloads are enormous.

Plus, half the lights are out in my house and refuse to come on, and my computer is jacked up due to the electric not working on the porch for some reason and me not wanting to trip the lame dog by running power cords across the living room.  Also, when I attach the phone to laptop the little button to do the download is greyed out, and so this being the retrograde I just say screw it and work with what I’ve got.  Usually everything starts working again on its own when the retrograde is over, so no need to rend garments over inconveniences.   Same thing with A Clear Sign, all of the plugins stopped working and refuse to come back to life, and the new ones I installed refuse to save their settings, so none of the unnecessary things are working but again – who cares?  They are being stubborn for some unknown reason.

My point is, I was listening to the podcasts part way through and coming back to them later completely out of order.  I lost the thread of what had come before and everything was like a giant jumble in my head that wanted to rest there for a while and get absorbed.

I’m usually linear in my thinking and something like that would upset me A LOT, but something about a Retrograde just slows me down and lets me know that everything unfolds as it will, there are times to slow down and just take it all in, and getting upset about it just disrupts the proceedings.

Husbands stuck in foreign countries working, loved ones who can only speak to us from the ether, and electronics that leave us in the dark whilst The Pink Panther mucks about, ducking and hiding – I’ve no idea WHY but I trust there is a purpose to it all.

It’s always interesting to read someone else’s take on why you blog and how it strikes them.  I had my chance this week when Vishnu published his article 30 Women (Bloggers) I Can’t Live Without.

Just A Laugh Before You Go

As I was out here on the porch very late one night listening to Ohotto, I saw something walk by the glass doors inside.  I’ve seen Shadow People that way before, and sometimes it’s hard to tell if they are behind me and I am seeing their reflection in the glass of the French doors, or if they are inside the house.  This time it was a short figure dressed in white, and I thought it could have been the six year old, up and out of bed.  When I went to investigate, he was sound asleep.

I’ve had enough visitors here to not get jumpy about it.  Usually while it is “something”, it is “nothing” because whoever it is isn’t bothering us.  But internally, I just freeze for a second while I allow my brain and senses to come together and reach a conclusion.

So a few nights later, I was bringing the dogs in and shutting the house down for the night.  I was holding the same French door open for the dog, and I saw a full sized figure reflected back to me in the glass from the dark area where the goat normally hides when he tries to sneak in past the dog from his locked out position.

My heart jumped into my throat for a second before I realized it was my own reflection.

Don’t ask me to explain why a genuine ghost doesn’t scare me at all, but I find my own reflection to be a heart stopper, because I just don’t know.