I’ve had a string of readings this week with people who feel lost and don’t know what to do. Each one of them commented on how they have been meditating, but can’t seem to pinpoint what to do or what to do first. So I am interrupting my regularly scheduled Thursday post for a brief message around the themes I’ve been seeing lately.
When you’re being crushed by life, and everyone wants a piece of you, it’s usually because you gave them permission. You don’t need to be so nice. You often serve yourself better by picking a few things that you are willing to do and letting go of the rest.
Most often, the “over-givers” are completely neglecting themselves in the process. They may even use all of their obligations as an avoidance mechanism – they’re avoiding dealing with themselves. There is a breaking point even for them.
I wish I didn’t have to do _________ anymore.
I’m doing it because ___________.
I would feel __________ if I didn’t do it.
I would feel _________ if I told them no.
If I didn’t do __________, who else would do it?
Some people have an iron in the fire but they’re working at a job they loathe, often for people who are immoral, childish, or gossipy. They want to get out but they don’t know how they can. They have financial obligations. They have a mortgage to pay and children to feed. Some of them have a burning passion on the side and a plan to leave their job. Some of them won’t ever do it because they’re “not sure” or they are looking for someone to give them permission. They can’t imagine the “how” in “how to make it happen.” They would do it “if” or “after” or “when.” Others just have no passion, hobby, or anything, but they’re searching.
I promise you weren’t born to bore yourself to death. That doesn’t always mean that you get out of your job, but it might mean that there’s a really good thing you can do on the side that will light you up like a Christmas tree in August, and you can take that light and shine it in the workplace on Monday morning.
If money were no object I would _________.
If I had all the time in the world I would ___________.
If I could go back to school and do it all over again I’d be a __________ because __________.
In my free time I like to _______________.
It can be so difficult to see the forest for the trees when you are working on solving your own problems. These questions are deceptively simple. It is common to find yourself thinking,”I would like to do/be X but I don’t have the time/couldn’t pay the bills/my spouse wouldn’t like it/can’t imagine how I would.”
I’m here to tell you that most of the time, if you have the passion for something, it is entirely possible. You might just need an objective party to bounce it off of who can evaluate your situation from a different perspective. Most people get stuck in thinking:
“There is no way I can do this because of X, Y, Z and A1.” (mired in the details of Why Not, no perspective)
“What do I do?” (can’t get started)
Imagine There’s A Detective On The Case Of Your Life Situation Or Your Life Purpose
Mr. Jaffe: The usual lunch or the usual dinner?
Harry Callahan: Well, what difference does that make?
Mr. Jaffe: None.
Harry Callahan: Say Jaffe, is that Tan Ford still parked in front of the bank?
Mr. Jaffe: Tan ford…
[checks] Mr. Jaffe: Yep. Tan Ford
Harry Callahan: Engine running?
Mr. Jaffe: I don’t know. How can I tell?
Harry Callahan: Exhaust fumes coming from the tailpipe.
Mr. Jaffe: Oh, my God. That is awful. Look at all that pollution.
Harry Callahan: [Harry turns to see] Yeah. Do me a favor.
[gives him slip of paper] Harry Callahan: Call this number.
Mr. Jaffe: Police department?
Harry Callahan: Yeah. Tell them Inspector Callahan thinks there’s a 211 in progress at the bank. Be sure and tell them that’s IN progress.
Mr. Jaffe: 211. Yes sir.
[goes to phone and starts dialing up] Harry Callahan: Now, if they’ll just wait for the cavalry to arrive.
[suddenly a gun shot goes off and an alarm bell follows immediately] Harry Callahan: Ah, shit.
If you can identify with anything I’ve mentioned above, I am giving you homework.
This also counts for you Oreo eaters at 2 am.
It counts for the people who want to lose weight but can’t.
It includes the people who don’t even have the energy to answer the questions because it’s just something else to put on their endless To Do list.
It includes all of you who wish to God that your Spirit Guides, Angels, or The Universe Would Just Give You The Answer Already so you could go on your merry way (hint: They won’t. You’re going to have to figure it out for yourself. Help is available, however).
You’re in if you can’t even get up off the couch except to go to work.
Do it if you’re worried you lost yourself somewhere along the way and are just living for your children, and are a little scared about what happens/happened when they leave home.
Answer if your house is just reverberating at you with a profound silence since your divorce.
You know who you are, people. Answer the questions. It is okay if you don’t know the answers. Just asking them is enough to tickle your brain and heart and get you going in the right direction.
Here’s the last question:
It would just make me sick if I didn’t get to ____________ before I die (that applies to everyone reading this).
You have until next Thursday’s post to send me your answer (that’s accountability). You can put it in the comments or send it to me at email@example.com. I’m not Dirty Harry but I promise if you put the effort in you can score a direct hit.