Archives for June 2017

The Tarot Group, The Seven of Pentacles, and Bad Habits

7 of pentacles

A few weeks ago I was at my Friday night Tarot group and the Seven of Pentacles showed up in the second position of the Celtic Cross.  It is the card that crosses the card which represents You in the reading.

There are different ways to read and even lay out the Celtic Cross, which is a classic spread, but I think your intention before laying the cards down is what ensures the “correct” or true placement.  In our group, we look at the second position generally as something to be watchful or mindful of, since it literally crosses you.  It doesn’t usually have a positive connotation.

The lady who hosts the group told me,”There’s a third man coming.”

Looking at the spread, I couldn’t figure out where she was seeing this. I am learning the Tarot right now.  That is the main purpose of the group, is a weekly practice where six of us each throw a spread and all of the others weigh in with their thoughts of what story the Tarot is telling.

“Where do you see a man?” I asked.

“The Seven of Pentacles.”

It made no sense to me at the time because this card really has nothing to do with people or relationships, but as it turns out – she was right.

About a week later I met the man.  The Seven of Pentacles showed up in my spread the next week.  It showed up when I pulled a single card to represent him.  And it showed up one final time after we said goodbye and I asked,”What was that all about?”  Every.  Single. Time.  I didn’t realize it right away, but it dawned on me to go back and check which card it was that Cathi said represented the third man, and sure enough, it was the Seven of Pentacles, which made my eyes widen a bit.

I looked up and said to the ether,”You guys are really with me and on the ball, aren’t you?!”

Oh No, Not The Same Mistakes Again

I only knew him for about a week and a half and I only met him once, so it would seem like an unimportant part of my journey, but apparently not.  Clearly, at least the cards were saying, he held an important message.

He had the weirdest reason for deciding not to continue on, it was that I smoked too much.

Now I had never smoked in front of him, as I don’t smoke in front of nonsmokers and certainly not on dates.  He knew I smoked, so it wasn’t a surprise and I wasn’t hiding it.

But what got him was how much I smoked.

He had asked me that morning how much I smoked, and he insisted on “Truth.”  I thought it was a little weird that he added that “Truth”, as if I would lie.  I told him.

That night, seemingly out of the blue, he told me that we shouldn’t keep seeing each other because he hated smoking,  He’d thought the relationship was promising enough to “live with it” but in his mind it would only work if it were specifically less than half a pack of cigarettes a day.

That seems extraordinarily arbitrary to me.  No smoking at all, fine – that I understand.  Knowing someone is aware that they need to find a way to quit, and in this case actually being aware of exactly how I was trying to work on it and that I really was actively working on it, suddenly he changed his mind.

Again, fine – everyone is entitled to change their mind, free will, whim, something doesn’t hit them right, whatever.

This Is Important, Pay Attention

I think what got me here was a combination of the cards pointing out “this is important, pay attention” along with a sense that there was probably far more to it that what he said, and that I was being severely judged for something that I was aware was a problem and was looking for a solution for.

Kind of like,”That’s not good enough for me.”  He even said that in the past he would have overlooked it, but he was at a time in his life when he “thought it was time to do things a little bit different.”

So I thought back to my reading with Robert Ohotto, when he read me the riot act over the smoking for a huge portion of the session, in a nice way.  He pointed out that odds were very high that as I continued to date the fact that I was a smoker was possibly going to severely limit my choices.  Odds were if I wanted a highly evolved partner they were unlikely to tolerate something that was slowly killing me, it’s simply not healthy.

It’s true that an awful lot of intuitives and psychics struggle with ways to manage and ground down their energy.  Some handle it in healthy ways and others commonly struggle with their weight and smoking.

In general, anyone who is fighting with themselves on managing their energy often is a smoker. Some drink and some use other forms of drugs.  Smokers are generally an angsty group who are just trying to manage their day-to-day, whether it is because they have anger control problems or grounding back to reality problems doesn’t matter that much, the point is, it is a crutch used to try to bring themselves back to center.

It struck me as kind of funny in this case that the man I was seeing used to be a casual smoker, but had quit.  He has a list of red flags a mile long that I overlooked because I anticipated it would be at best a short-term relationship. I overlooked them because in spite of those things he functioned at a high level energetically I had the sense that I was going to learn some things from him.  Which I did.

Always Looking For The Damn Lesson

So part of my lesson might be “get on the quitting smoking and your health in general.”

It might also be “why are you even dealing with people who you already know cannot possibly be long-term partners? If you want a long-term partner than you have to pass others by.”

It could be “ignore red flags to your detriment.”

I might also be a reminder to “judge not lest ye be judged” but sort of in reverse.  A reminder that discernment is good but judgment is not helpful.

Finally, I had noticed an escalation in his communication that felt very familiar and not in a good way – the monitoring control freak.

Jokingly telling me things like “I haven’t heard shit from you in a couple of days about your progress.  I would have thought you were a little more self-motivated than that.” It was followed by some good advice and an expression of concern.

Pardon the expression but this is pretty much a shit sandwich.

I generally take things like this well, because that is how I am used to being treated – but what we are used to is not necessarily good for us or anything we wanted to continue tolerating.

Why would I want someone in my life whose style puts me in the position of having to prove myself, or at least assumes I have done something wrong or failed to do something.

In fact, I had been doing my work but – do I need someone to coach me like that?  Do I need to be monitored?  Or could I use some help but a simple expression of concern like,”How have you been doing with your exercises?” would have been much more helpful.

It reminded me of someone who used to scream at me and when I asked why he felt the need to scream it, he’d say,”You never listen or take me seriously unless I escalate it.”  Or he would otherwise say it was my fault that he was shouting.

The funny thing is, I’ve had other people say,”You are not listening to what I am saying” in a calm voice and that was plenty to get me to put my listening ears on.  I never want to go through the screaming again.

I guess we come into each others lives to teach lessons sometimes, but it was a reminder to me that my own style of trying to be supportive and helpful could come with a lot less sarcasm and lot more…kindness and support.