“Do it!” I ordered.
I smiled to myself a little, because I honestly did not know where I was going to get the courage from until something deep down pulled out the one trick up my sleeve, the one shred of related experience in being forceful.
My mom voice came out. The one that brooks no argument.
The benefit of being a single mother, that commanding tone I had so much difficulty conjuring up when their father left for the islands and I had to replace him as The Boss.
I know how to be the Pack Leader with the dogs too, I thought to myself. Why do I not use this more often?
Well the truth is that I have become very live and let live, and hate the idea that anyone should come home to me for any reason other than that they simply want to be there.
Dogs are happier as part of a pack, and when they know who is in charge, otherwise it is chaos. I am not a fan of being the one in charge with adult humans.
There is one exception though, and that is helping other people overcome their fears.
He should have known that if he asked me to do something with him, I was going to see that through to the bitter end, like it or not.
It was something he’d always wanted to do. He hadn’t given me any advance warning that he was going to be scared of it. Maybe he didn’t know.
I told him to do it, and he got distracted by something else. On purpose. It was the fear, and if I know about anything at this point, it is the fear.
“I told you to do it.”
As if he can’t hear me.
The look of uncertainty that crossed his face told me everything I needed to know. He wanted to but a part of him was afraid, and I had a split second to support him with it or allow him to leave defeated. He needed my support or it wasn’t going to happen.
“Do it!” And he did.
I was really proud of him in that moment. It reminded me of the time I was on my honeymoon in Vermont and my new husband saw a single canoe on the shore of a very cold lake and asked me if I wanted to go. He would row. I did want to go, but I kept seeing images of me and him flipping over into the water. This had happened to me before with a college friend who had no idea how to enter a canoe, and he flipped me in. I said no to my husband and we never really did anything fun or spontaneous again.
So I was not going to allow anyone to miss their dream if I had anything to do with it. I actually would have far preferred to do the normal, everyday thing that he was trying to distract himself with. Experience says that doing the tried and true stretches us not at all, and I’ve grown tired of what I know. It’s time for expansion and transformation, and that takes a lot of guts sometimes.
There are things you just cannot do unless someone helps you, cheers you on, gives you a different perspective. At some point in the learning process you bang your head against the door enough times or pass out from thirst whilst traversing the dry desert, and suddenly some inappropriate person appears before you and offers their hand.
We all resist an awful lot, don’t we? So often we refuse the hand. Why? Well you could call it stubbornness or you could just say it’s fear.
This past year some really inappropriate people have walked into my life and offered to help, in a most indirect way. They may not even know that they are helping, or may have a misperception about what it is exactly that they are helping with.
No one on earth would have put the two of us together.
Thankfully, we don’t just rely on those on earth.
Maybe it’s Spirit who puts us together or at least conspires to assist us in activating – or reactivating – our soul contracts. I cannot swear that we have soul contracts in the way in which we think of them, but what I can say with certainty is that if you look back on the events, and the step up fashion in which they have been working for so long, you’ll find the players in your life appear right on time.
Sometimes, they hang around for a really long time, waiting for you to be ready, and sometimes you do that for them.
I met two people about a year ago, one right after the other. They were the first two to show up once I was ready for them.
Except, I wasn’t really ready for one, and the other wasn’t really ready for me.
It is frustrating to be the one doing the waiting. You just want to shout at them, “Don’t you see?!” some days. Months. Possibly years.
You find yourself waiting…and waiting…and wondering what in the hell you are doing it for. Are you just wasting your time? Will they ever wake up?
One day you might find yourself as I did, realizing suddenly that the one who held your answers was in fact waiting for you, checking in from time to time, applying no pressure, but doing more waiting than you had.
With me, it was perfect timing, I had a moment free for once, and he showed up just then and pursued it in a way I could handle it – persistent, but no pressure.
I woke up from a nap one holiday Monday because spirit woke me up. They said “text him back.” He said he had just that minute gotten off of work, and could we please please please meet?
So we did.
In the months that passed we talked about men I was dating, one in particular who’d been around for about a year and was frustrating me. He said they had a lot in common, and I wanted to know, like what?
He reminded me of how many months he’d chased me and how long it took me to meet him – almost a year.
I said,”Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” He laughed and laughed.
The Invisible Red Thread
I recently started participating in a group with women who get together once a week to throw a Celtic Cross Tarot spread, read for each other, and discuss their lives over some food and wine. I have to travel a really long way but something about it makes me feel like I was supposed to be a part of their group. I’d met three of them in a Tarot class.
Last night I threw a spread with The Tower in the “recently past” position, The Fool in the “me” position, and one of the Kings crossing the Fool.
One of the women said,”Who is the Fire sign man in your life?” and I knew it was the one who’d waited for me. I’d just seen him earlier that day, to help him live his dream and banish his fears.
I believe that we are all connected, and our soul contracts get activated when they should. I saw the women as my partners and it occurred to me that nothing happens by mistake, it is all a part of the plan,
I could not have needed the fire sign man more when I met him, and it turns out that he needed me too. When he said “I need you” every part of me resisted saying what he wanted to hear, “I need you too.” It is still true. We all help each other in unexpected ways, all of the time.
When my tabby cat walks the deck with me at night, following me back and forth, I tell her,”If I were a witch, you’d be my Familiar.”
When I met the Tarot group, I had this funny but uncanny sense that I must have been a witch in past lives, because something about the dynamics of this group does not feel like Mahjong did in my mother’s day, it felt like reuniting with the coven, even though we are not witches and we do not cast spells. But that is exactly what it felt like. Seeing long-lost friends who are brought together for some unknown mission and a lot of learning and helping each other, I expect.
When the fire sign man and I parted, he asked me what I was doing that night. I told him I was going to a women’s group down in a town which I named.
He said,”Where in that town? I used to live there.”
The next day I stopped by my dad’s house to pick up my kids, and we got to talking about how in the Tarot group, we were doing some mediumship to connect with someone’s mother, and my grandfather came through. Someone I’d never met and didn’t know what he looked like. About three seconds into the description, my Dad said,”Oh your grandfather came to visit you.” How did he know?
Then he told me a story about how my ex-husband’s coworker talked to my dad years ago about someone connected to that unknown side of my family, they had been friends growing up in New York. My dad knew one of the sons, growing up in New Jersey. As he told me the stories, person after person who should not have been connected, turned out to know each other.
In the mediumship reading, I saw a bunch of people holding hands in a line, and I felt like they were various friends and relatives of all of the women in the room with me. One of the women said, before I explained what I was seeing, “they never knew each other here or there, but they all came together to see us for the party.”
Yes, they did! Exactly.
If you have been waiting for a very long time for someone to wake up, your time may be now, as everything seems to be manifesting so quickly, particularly with seeds you sowed long ago. They are sprouting and sometimes morphing into harvests, seemingly overnight. The connections have never been more palpable. The time is now.