Synchronicity Of The Repeating Name

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If you hear a person’s name six times from six completely random places within 24 hours, do you think it means something?

I’ll let you be the judge.

Keep in mind the Merriam-Webster definition of synchronicity (which, by the way, differs from mine):

The coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality —used especially in the psychology of C. G. Jung.

When I left the Scorpio on Saturday night after an amazing first date, I thought we’d probably never see each other again.  I was neutral.

He was so intense that I wasn’t sure I could handle it on an ongoing basis.  Usually I like men who are more like trees – rock steady and standing behind me.

It must have been the ending with the Virgo, and my clearing him out of my field, that brought on the Scorpio, and in fact I had two men ask me out for the night when I cleared the Virgo from my system in the morning.

Usually you won’t get me to go out at the last minute – ever – but in this case we had been trying to catch up with each other for a while, I’d already said no twice, and we’d both had long days.  Somehow I was wide awake and raring to go.

The minute after he asked me out, someone who’d been hinting for a while implied he would like me to meet him out, and I said I’d love to be on the bar stool next to him but I couldn’t.

Since it was my last free weekend before my kids return, I’d been reflecting on my expectations for the summer and how wildly different it turned out from how I had imagined it.

I was so surprised by the Scorpio that I didn’t really take stock of it until a few days later.

Why Would I (Neutrally) Reject Him?

I wondered if the fact that he was single, my age, spiritual and willing to discuss it, and that we actually had some real chemistry going on had anything to do with my neutrality.  Basically, he was completely appropriate for me.  At least on paper.

I haven’t run into a man yet who had all of those qualities going for him, but we barely knew each other and he didn’t say anything about seeing me again, so I just thought it was probably one very pleasant evening that for whatever reason, wouldn’t get repeated.

The Virgo and I had a running joke where I would refer to all other men by their ages, like 32, 33, 39, 48.  Then I started to repeat ages, and I ran out of nicknames and started talking about them by name.

I had this idea in my head that the fated man I was supposed to meet…maybe the very tall one I have referred to before…was named John, but I never told the Virgo this.

One day I was telling him about three of the men and I remarked oh hey, I just realized that all of their names started with the letter J.

He said that was weird, and I remarked,”I guess it goes with Julie.”

He joked,”Call me John.”

I’ll admit it made me pause at the time.

But only for a second.

Oh, Come On!

It turns out that the Scorpio is yet another one whose first name starts with the letter J.  Every time I thought of him, I could not for the life of me get his name to stick in my head.  So I remembered it by saying to myself that my friend – whose name starts with J – has a son whose name is the same as the Scorpio, so I’ll remember it that way.

I do not recall this name ever coming to my attention before, but as soon as I realized that he was the only man I did not stop to think about afterward, it brought my attention back to him to ponder why that was.

Then his name came up six times.

Maybe it’s like when you buy a new car and suddenly you start noticing every other car on the road that’s just like yours – your attention gets drawn there.

I went to change my bed, and a little voice said to turn on the tv, which I generally do not do.  Full House came on, and as I went to change the channel, something told me not to.  I went about my business and a moment later, the girl says she is waiting for a call from a boy – with the same name as the Scorpio.  Let’s just say his name is J.

Thankfully I could then switch to Game Of Thrones.

I’d passed over a blog post in my feed about 15 times to the point that I wondered why Feedly kept showcasing the same post over and over for days.  I finally gave in and opened it to clear it – and in the first sentence was the name J.

A song with that name came on the radio and I watched it scroll across XM radio.

Someone mentioned the name on the radio, in another context.

I saw it one more place.

Finally I was watching an old Gilmore Girls (my all time favorite show, the dialogue is brilliant!) episode in preparation for the upcoming release of new episodes on Netflix and in the Bracebridge Dinner episode from a million years ago, Lorelai mentions J.  This is not a character on the show.  Just a random mention.

At this point I looked up at the ceiling and said,”Oh, come on!”

Because Another Man Is Coming In?

If this weren’t bad enough, I realized that the Scorpio had two things going for him that I hadn’t thought about before – two things that I’d put on my wish list that seemed fairly unlikely that I would get.

But – and this may be a big but – the man with the empty bar stool and I had discussed an agreement on Sunday.  If it proceeds as discussed, the Scorpio could not fit into my life, because we would have an exclusive arrangement.

Just following the threads here, people.  I wanted to end the summer in a happy way, cleared the Virgo, and suddenly and unexpectedly there were the Scorpio and bar stool guy…Scorpio asked first, bar stool guy has taken months to finally ask me and it is a big deal.  I care about the bar stool guy in a way that is very different from all of the others who have come and gone.

More On Virgos

Another odd synchronicity was that in the middle of all of these J appearances, my colleague who dislikes the Virgo because of her own Virgo, came into my office to say that her Virgo had come back.  Three years later, out of the clear blue sky.

I finally asked her to tell me why she was so prejudiced against Virgo men – what in the world had happened between them anyway?

I started to pale as she told me the story.  “And then he did this…” I’m thinking, that’s funny, that’s exactly what my Virgo did.  “And then he did that…”  Uh oh, that sounds VERY familiar!  Her entire story explained a man who sounded like a dead ringer for my Virgo.

Then she ended the story, in which the man behaved quite duplicitously, and really hurt her, by saying,”And he still says he did nothing wrong.  He just came back like nothing had ever happened.”

That’s exactly the way mine always came back, but if he told me this time that he did nothing wrong, God might strike him dead on the spot.

A Little Perspective Taking, Or Just Part Of The Plan?

I watch them come and I watch them go.  Along the way, I learn things.  Maybe one date is enough sometimes to learn what you need to learn, or simply to have fun and take a break.

For the ones who took a more serious turn, I wonder what I would see if I could just see it from their perspective?

I heard the song Part Of The Plan on the radio:

I have these moments
All steady and strong
I’m feeling so holy and humble

The next thing I know
I’m all worried and weak
And I feel myself
Starting to crumble

The meanings get lost
And the teachings get tossed
And you don’t know what
You’re gonna do next

You wait for the sun
But it never quite comes
Some kind of message
Comes through to you
Some kind of message
Comes through

And it says to you
Love when you can
Cry when you have to
Be who you must
That’s a part of the plan
Await your arrival
With simple survival and
One day, we’ll all understand

I had a woman
Who gave me her soul
But I wasn’t ready to take it
Her heart was so fragile
And heavy to hold
And I was afraid
I might break it

Your conscience awakes
And you see your mistakes
And you wish someone
Would buy your confessions

He wouldn’t be the first one who looked at me and wondered if he would break my heart.  Some have said they were concerned about whether or not I was ready to move on.  Some of them know I am long past my last husband in that regard, but some did not know me well enough yet.

It made me think about ways I have said no.  Have I always been kind about it? Sometimes I explain why we’re not a fit or a match, if they ask.  Sometimes I really do think there is something really wrong with you and whatever it is, I need to stay far, far away.  Those guys don’t get an explanation. 

Usually though it’s just that it doesn’t feel right, or I know right away it’s not a match, and it’s nothing that the man has done or anything about him in particular.

I don’t expect to hear from the Scorpio again.  But if I don’t…why the reiteration of the name over and over again?  Can it be just a coincidence?

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  1. Julie- I wonder about these coincidences all the time. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just that you expect to,in your case, hear the name, so you do. You might also have been hearing a D name just as often, but it wasn’t on your radar, so you didn’t notice it. The question is WHY?! I have a number associated with one particular person. When I see it over and over in one day, I wonder why I’m supposed to be thinking of him. But maybe, Earthlings, I see it because I’m thinking about him. I have no idea how to figure that out. I do know that occasionally I’ve given in and texted him when I’ve seen twelve license plates in ten minutes with his number on them. And he’s said yeah, stuff is going on and he could use a friend. But when ISNT stuff going on? We can always use a friend. This guy is for me like the bar stool guy for you. How I long for an arrangement like you are looking at. But maybe THAT is why I notice the numbers. Because he is always on my mind. As for J dude, maybe the Universe is just saying “remember this one.” Who knows why. Yet. Be happy, Julie. 🙂

    • Hi Nancy, Exactly,”yet”! I’ll bet I will know eventually. Honestly, I had so much fun with him that it stands on its own. It really doesn’t need a repeat, because once I know him well it will change the perspective on the whole thing 🙂 Part of the fun is in the getting to know the person, and since I was married for 20 years it has been a very long time since I have done this!

  2. I think the name repetition is a ‘listen and pay attention’ sign indeed. Done playfully of course. Interesting… Also, you seem to be meeting a lot of guys. Where?!? Because one of my single mom friends bemoans how hard it is to meet men. INBOX ME. WE TALK. Also., I have been reading this a while, and asking my husband for a divorce for past 2 years and he finally agreed yesterday. I laughed b.c a tarot august reading for my sign said something about massive shift/changes. And how. On the 2nd (new moon) I spent 2 hours journaling in my new moon ritual of what kind of partner I do want when I move on and date again.. And my husband started texting me chit chat and tons of random happy memories (he who never texts or calls from work, ever, and ignores me of late) as this was going on. I wonder if my energy was strong and so focused that he sensed it was ending somehow. A last (albeit lazy and half hearted) bid. Agh. Anyway, this makes me happy and realize there IS life after divorce. Granted I am not looking to jump in right away but it makes me feel better than the doom and gloom friend who is my age (I am close in age to you I believe) so THANK YOU.

    Terrifying and a relief all at once. Yikes. But I laughed at your take on the intense scorpio- I literally asked for ‘intense emotionally but CALM’ and ‘SPIRITUAL and or open to it/open to my views/able to discuss it’ on my list. I wonder if this list making works? I sure hope so!

    • Hi Anony, I think the important thing in meeting men is to be flexible – do not just say no and throw them out the window because they don’t at first blush appear to be a fit for what you think you are looking for. I have had a lot of great conversations with men who I know I will never date and they know it too, but we meet (usually online) and we learn something and have fun. Most women online (the men tell me) are not willing to actually meet, they want to text forever, and some won’t even get on the phone. Others are looking for Daddies or sugar daddies…or to get paid…and so on. So being an actual live, breathing, intelligent human being makes you a target but also makes you unique and valuable – to the right man. I’m not sure I have met one yet who actually is truly available for me to consider, but I think we go in stages with these things sometimes, depending on what we are ready for at the time.

      Happy divorce 🙂 Get ready for the onslaught of “happy memories” and odd behavior, comes with the territory!

  3. Hi Julie

    I am not in the market for anyone, but I wonder if I was how would I know who is not right. The first question would be do you like cats? Sounds like a crazy criteria but I can’t imagine life without cats, so a person that didn’t like them would not be for me. Funny as I am part of a group with a lot of men, very few that are single by the way. But one that is single and can’t seem to hold on to a woman or know how to approach women, does not like cats. Pretty clear reason to me why he would not be good for women.

    Maybe one has to look for signs of why a relationship would not work out. It might just be hidden in simple questions, ones that may seem irrelevant, if one doesn’t like something outside of themselves, they might not have the compassion one wants in a relationship. Just my thoughts!

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    • Hi Mary, Thank you for the thoughts! 🙂 They are all so very different, and I think having met a bunch has been very helpful to me. We are all unique of course, but after spending decades with one man and getting his perspective on me, it is VERY refreshing to see it from various other men’s points of view.

  4. I’ve had the name thing happen to me a lot–still does, about the same person, and I do not in any way solicit this! Random times out of the clear blue without any forethought, and the name pops up here, there, everywhere, unlikely places and I *try* not to think anything about it, because the situation is such that the purpose of it hasn’t been fully revealed to me. I have tried to push past and move on but when I finally start feeling free of it, here come the names and the synchronicities again. Drives me crazy. My gut feeling about it is that maybe your spirit guides are trying to get a message to you, trying to get you to pay attention. Maybe don’t write off the Scorpio just yet. I’m married to one and there is never a dull moment. They are complex, multi-faceted, passionate, loving, and certainly intense (mine has jealousy issues which are still the old baggage, and it’s hard for a Sagittarius like me) but a lot like that onion allegory from Shrek: lots of layers. Possibly, what you have witnessed on the surface is only part of what is there and it may be worth digging a little deeper, or discovering what is under some of those layers. Just give it some thought.
    As for the Virgo, oh, yeah…! Very particular and always right (so they think). Life has certainly gotten busy for you lately but it sounds like you are managing it well; you don’t necessarily have to choose, just enjoy the moments for what they are. The more we learn about others, the more in turn we learn about themselves. Blessings to you on this wild journey!

    • Hi Ayla, You just never know when they are going to come back! It surprises me every time. I had two of them come back recently, and both of them shocked me. So I guess it would not be impossible for the Scorpio to do the same thing because one just never knows. I think of it as a soul connection or a soul contract, if there is unfinished business this lifetime. In your case it has lasted for years, so that may be different, like a soul remembrance. The Scorpio may be smarter than I am about these things, he is certainly more experienced with dating as he has never been married…and at 49, there are reasons for that! He gave me some hints, and maybe in this case we are just bad for each other – I can very easily see that being the case. Too much emotion and intensity with nothing to balance it out or ground it could lead to temper tantrums, and I have been on the receiving end of enough of those for a lifetime!

      • Now you’ve got me thinking about it from another angle. If we are getting the repeat “coincidences that may not be just coincidences” with things like repeating names and signs that lead us to giving thought to an individual–although it could mean we need to explore that further or pay attention or contact that person, could it also be a warning from our guides to “Watch Out For This One–he’s a doooooozy!” ??? Read your post after this one and it really got me wondering.

        • Ayla, well that certainly could be said about the Scorpio! He is definitely a doozy. But that does not mean necessarily that it is a warning… I’m on the fence on that one. It could be an indication that the person is coming back or it could simply be a reminder that you enjoyed your time with that person and you should put it in perspective or remember it as you start relating to other people. I guess the answer has to be found in our own hearts and maybe it can’t be found until later when we have more experience and more of the facts in?

  5. Hi Julie, you know I feel yaon this topic… I’ve experienced this for 6 years now with the one person, but nothing has changed about our relationship, and he is still 6 hours away from me. Someone once told me that BOTH of our (his & mine) guardian angels had a hand in this for whatever the reason is. I feel like I know, but he has never “gotten” it…..or he experiences it too, but just won’t admit it….
    Just please be careful and protect yourself. I’ve gotten really hurt over A LOT of
    things where my guy is concerned, even when unbelievable things were coming at me left &_right. I guess the “everyone has their own free will” thing can play a huge part in why some things have not yet been revealed????
    Blessings to you and I love the lyrics of the song in this post! 😇💙

    • Hi Lorin! Yes, I do know how you feel about it 🙂 Free will can play a role, or it may just be that we don’t know what is in those contracts we sign? I am just figuring that out with some of the short term players…maybe I am figuring it out. These days it seems like things are coming and going so fast and furiously that you just never know when everything changes on a dime.

  6. Megan Dickson says:

    I keep seeing the name Russell everywhere. And its whenever I think of the boy I like. His father’s name was Russell and he’s dead. Could it be him trying to get my attention? Lately I have been trying to distract myself (I still do have a crush on the boy I like) from my crush and thats when I started to see it most.

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