Two Men and A Starbucks Stunning Synchronicity

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The most entertaining part of dating is watching each man’s reaction to me.

None of them think I am interested in them.  All of them say they enjoyed talking with me.  Most of them follow up with their phone number and say they are leaving the ball in my court.

If you know me, at this point you are laughing.  Quite loudly.

I do not consider a man worth dating unless he acts like…a man.

Don’t argue with me here, folks.  Many of my friends have tried. Unless they just burst out laughing when I say, “If he is a man he will kiss me first.  I am certainly not going to do it.  That’s his job.”

I don’t know where these rules come from.  I didn’t even realize I had any rules.  I just assumed, without ever actually thinking about it, that all women felt this way and all men acted like that – not so, not at all, apparently.

But the one thing I can say for certain, is that if they are less of a man than I am, they will never, ever get anywhere with me.  Falls under the very obvious category of “not for me.”

What I seem to bring up with each of them is a good degree of…uncertainty.

I had one look at me quite hard at the end of the night after he walked me to my car and I had my keys in my hand, and ask in frustration,”Well, can I at least HUG you?” and then he squeezed the life out of me. I could actually feel my bra moving out of position, that is how tight he hugged me.

Obviously this has everything to do with me and my vibes or energy, I am in no way blaming any of these guys, all of whom have been very nice people.  I don’t think my angels would let anyone really awful come near me at this stage, my marriage was punishment enough.

I suppose part of it is that I am, personality-wise, not all that receptive-seeming.  You know us female INTJs…well probably you don’t, because there are so few of us.  We can come off as cold, distant and clinical, not typically female, at all.  Most INTJs are men.

On top of that, they are watching me read them, and since I seem to draw other intuitives and empaths in (who generally have no idea they are intuitive or empathic), that can’t feel all that comfy.

I actually told one date that he was claircognizant.  Not probably your normal dating conversation.  His guides were chomping at the bit to have me relay information to him, very distracting.

So I guess that makes me challenging.

I am not sure at which date I seem datable.  It is probably somewhere around date four, and none of them have made it that far yet.

It’s at whatever point I relax, having determined that they are “safe.”

Then I can start to evaluate whether I actually like them or not…which most other women probably do in the first five seconds.

Yes I am going to take my time, and no, most men aren’t that patient.

I should point out (I’m sure you’ve already noticed) that I never really dated when I was young.  I had only a handful of Relationships (no “dates”) in my twenties and I married two of them.  I have been married for most of my adult life.

GetAttachment (10)

It may sound funny, but I don’t consider it a compliment when I state that men never want to date me, they just seem to want to marry me.  It’s like once they know me they say to themselves,”She will take care of me,” and that is that.

Catapult me to nearly 49 with two children ages 8 and 11 and a shall we say difficult situation with the father of those kids, with absolutely no time to date and never having a babysitter on hand when I need one, and you’d think no one would want to touch me with a ten foot pole.

The Ghostly Red Ball of Yarn

My intuitive therapist said (and I am quoting because we can refer back to this later, when we will definitely need to) that I should not date for 6 more months.  I should take up a hobby to open up my 2nd chakra, not date to accomplish the same task.  She said that I am veiled, and so I can’t see clearly nor can others see me clearly.  Therefore I am currently drawing in the wrong type of men.  And I would be sorry.

I am supposed to choose a hobby wherein I create a physical object, so it occurred to me that twenty years ago I used to crochet baby blankets for every first child born to each of my girlfriends.

I figured somewhere in the house, I still had a crochet hook and some yarn.  I meant to start but…I didn’t.

Then one morning I found a skein of yarn that had been hiding on the top shelf of my closet had moved.  By itself.  In the night.

Half of it was still up on the shelf, and it was trailing down the closet where it ended in a big ball of red yarn sitting on the floor.

Hint, hint.

Two Men and a Starbucks

So instead of crocheting I went on a coffee date.  We talked for an hour and a half, nonstop.  He was what I would normally consider not my type, since I usually date nothing but your standard white Christian male, but when I read his face I knew I would like him, and I did.

I was wondering if he would have the same post-date reaction as every other man, when he texted me and, simultaneously, so did another man I’ve been talking to.

This other man has impeccable timing.  This other man has energy just pouring off of him and I read it right away.  Funny enough, I had asked the universe for just such a man to show up locally, as he reminded me energetically of someone else who lives too far away.

Not only did he show up but – he was in the same exact coffee shop as my date and I were.  At the exact same time we were there.

He works there.  I did not know this until I got the text saying he had just gotten off work and I asked him where he worked.

He took my order.  On my coffee date.  He took my order.

I was only talking to two men at the time.  Both were with me in the coffee shop at the same time by complete and total accident.

Or, you know, universal design.

And you say your guides and my guides don’t talk?

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  1. Fellow INTJ here. That explains so much about why I love your posts. My “making” hobby is greeting cards, which is hilarious because I make them but hardly ever send them. The coffee shop scenario is… Well, I’m just sitting here shaking my head.

    • Me too, Shirley, me too. I have been sitting here in stunned silence ever since. And don’t think I was too shy to tell the non-intuitive man what happened. He probably thinks I am crazy but…I could not let that one go by without at least TRYING to explain what a synchroncity is!

  2. I LOVE that synchronicity you had! So very cool, you know I love reading anything about synchs 😀
    I’m glad you’re going out on dates, I can’t remember when anyone has asked me out on a date it’s been so long lol. Oh, and hobbies…I like going to Michael’s Craft Store just to browse every once in awhile. They have so many different things I usually see something that kind of inspires me to make or paint (just an idea). Blessings and hope you have a great rest of the weekend 🙂

    • Lorin, Oh I am getting out, that’s for sure. I’d be doing a lot more of it if I had a more open schedule, but working with what I’ve got. I have had the Michaels suggestion from a few people, and have to go anyway for a kids school project, but too antsy to sit down and do a project with so much else going on…obviously that is just telling me that I NEED to sit my butt down and just force myself. Thanks 🙂

  3. INFJ here…not sure how different we are from INTJ ers but your posts resonate. And God beta male /scared to call or make a move need apply. If I feel more erm macho than my man well..that would have been friend zoned as the kids say now. So what do you think the synchronicity meant? That both men were in one spot? Did coffee guy get peeved or was he ok with it?

    • Coffee guy was not aware. The fact that they were both there together is a definite high sign from the universe, what it meant exactly, I am not sure. The likelihood of us all being in the same place at the same time is just…well, so small. There must be a million Starbucks. It’s not the one closest to my house and I never go to Starbucks. The guy I was meeting chose the place. None of us even live in that area. I said,”What a coincidence, I was just at a Starbucks,” when he said he worked part-time at one, but when he said “that’s my store” I practically fell off my chair.

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