I was visiting the Caribbean last year during the summer when nearly everything was closed. Walking along the dock, I noticed a small café was open. There were small metal tables and chairs on the sidewalk, and I saw my friend there.
Except my friend was back in the United States.
Nonetheless, I saw my friend there as plain as day. I saw reality in front of me, but superimposed upon that in a transparent sort of way was another scene. I saw both at the same time, but my focus was on one.
In the image, there were two laptops set up on the table. I was at one and my friend was at another. We were both writing, creating side by side.
I just realized that what I was seeing was the future.
A Complete Change
I don’t sleep anymore.
I miss sleeping, I really do.
Often I’ll fall asleep reading with the kids and then move into my bedroom.
I’ve tried sleeping on the left and the right. I’ve tried diagonally, which used to be my preference before I shared a bed with someone else.
I’ve propped my head up on three pillows. I’ve moved down to the foot of the bed to pet the dog.
I’ve tried the couch. The floor. I’ve even tried sleeping with my head at the foot of the bed, which was honestly weird because I have no footboard and the effect was a little bit like hanging in space.
Pacing The Deck
Finally I gave up on sleep and without conscious thought, I began pacing the deck in the middle of the night to try to cure the insomnia.
One benefit is I’ve lost nearly thirty pounds this summer. That is a lot of pacing.
Sometimes you just need to get your energy out, but I am not used to feeling the need to exercise between midnight and 3am.
I’ve been in basic energetic overwhelm for the past two months. So much has happened that feels like shock and trauma, but there is also a huge helping of hope as I see and feel all of the possibilities opening up.
There is a huge expansiveness before me. It’s exciting and it’s scary and sometimes, when looking back, it’s flat out terrifying.
We move through those moments of terror and fear and uncertainty straight into the unknown. There is the promise – the promise – that wonderful things await, if we can learn to be receptive, truly open to receiving.
Our true basic life purpose comes down to “be all of who I am.”
Energy is starting to grow out. I feel like a genie who was stuck in a bottle, and someone popped the cork unexpectedly. The energy diffuses and releases and enters the world anew.
Other people in our lives can sense and feel when this process begins, and not often will they like it or support it, because suddenly the rules have changed.
So we look for those who support and embrace and cheer us on at these times – these people are our tribe, our energetic equals.
Those who try to keep you stuck in your old story by telling you who you were, but unable to see or acknowledge who you are now, will feel oppressive and you must not allow them to keep you in place, because now is the time to move.
It’s also a way that someone signals to you,”You’ve changed.” This is a strong marker that whether or not they accept it, you have changed.
You’ll feel it in your system as a form of resistance against what they are saying about you. It registers as,”No, that’s not true.”
Then they have the choice to support you in a different way, or disappear from your life, and you must be willing to let them go, rather than hiding in your old, stuck and small patterns.
You are always becoming. When huge energy shifts pop into your life, you cannot help but rise to the occasion and welcome it, because as comfortable as it may be to keep doing what you’ve always been doing, your energy body will reject it.
You will know with certainty that you must say no to going backwards, because it’s evident that it wasn’t working for you up until now anyway. As much as you wish you could force it or control it so that it works, you simply cannot.
The Old Argument
This is the deal breaker argument. It goes something like this:
“You did this thing, and it is unforgiveable. I cannot accept it or get over it.”
“Okay. But I have just explained all of my excellent reasons for making that decision.”
“I cannot forgive you. I cannot forget it. I will never get over it.”
“Could you maybe check in with yourself and think over the other 5,000 things that are wonderful? Or do you need to stay stuck on that one thing only, to the exclusion of all else?”
“That thing! You did that thing! You aren’t validating that thing for me! You think you are perfect and have never done anything wrong! I am entitled to my feelings!”
You can see the energetic mismatch. There is withholding.
It’s going to take God or a miracle to move that situation along. Good thing that miracles happen every day.
There are people who will be able to see you.
I knew I’d found one of them when I never shied away from telling them anything. No matter how good or bad. There was simply no judgment on the receiving end.
Your communication will look like: give, receive, return. Give, receive, return. It’s the law of reciprocity in action and flow.
I always laugh at the idea of being an “old soul.” If you knew how many times I have been around this block, you’d shake your head. It makes me think, “Gee, I must be slow if it’s taken me that many attempts to learn this!” Old soul does not necessarily equate to wisdom earned.
It’s funny when we learn who people are to us in this lifetime, and the roles we’ve played for each other throughout lifetimes. “Hey, I thought I was slow, but he’s just as bad – we’ve already done this together eleven times and we still don’t have it right!”
Yet when you meet the people who operate at your frequency, especially a new frequency that you aren’t accustomed to yet, it’s kind of like a slap in the face, but in a good way. You need help to settle down and be brought back into alignment.
If it’s okay to “be all of who you are” but you’re not quite aware of that yet, acknowledgement alone can do wonders to move you forward.
My best offering is,”I love all of you.” That’s it. Period, the end. Just acceptance.
When you know someone inside out and you can still offer that, it’s love.
Just being fully yourself is enough. In fact, it’s exactly right.
If some people cannot see it or accept it, others can.
You will find them.
They will find you.