If I were visiting someone else for Thanksgiving this year I would probably spend half the day talking to people and half the day sitting outside in the cold, smoking, on my phone, reading other people’s blog posts and catching up with my crazy Facebook friends. Under the premise that some of you may be in Avoidance Mode today, here are some random thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain.
There are some people who I am truly thankful I will not be joining today! Yay to freedom!
There are others that I will sorely miss. Those who have passed on, like my mother. Those who are in Barbados working, like my husband.
Thanksgiving and Christmas Past are intertwined today somehow. I suppose it is the connection to the family events of the past, where I sat at the Kid Table, and can’t remember but suspect it might have been Hannukah.
Times when it was just me, my Mom and my Dad, and we decorated the gorgeous Tiffany lamp above our tiny table in New Jersey, made the traditional foods, and broke out the pretty purple glasses that were just for special occasions, and felt complete as a family.
Occasions when my future husband and I introduced our families for the first time.
Traditions we created as the years went by and we hosted all of the holiday meals, bringing a mishmash of friends and family together regularly.
A lot of those dang people moved away or died and our traditions suffered. Instead of seeing those we enjoyed spending time with and loved cooking and cleaning in preparation for them coming to our home, we began to over the years to have the dreaded Obligation Dinners instead.
You know, the ones where you are still angry at someone for the way they continue to do things – every year – and the calendar rolling around to the holidays just reminds you of that and how much you are dreading it.
In the intervening years, we became a small unit again, just me and my husband and my Dad and our two boys.
Usually my husband shames me into getting up and starting to cook. If he were here, he’d be banging around in the kitchen doing dishes, boiling water, and calling out,”Ready!” long before I was willing to stop drinking coffee, get off my computer and get going with the day of cooking.
The fact is, we are a good team and I kind of need someone to do that for me (witness this year, it is already 8:30am and I am writing you a blog post instead!)
He’d pour boiling water into the turkey carcass so no one dies of stuffing poisoning.
He would peel the potatoes in 5 minutes flat, which will take me an hour.
He’d do all the knife duty, from chopping to carving, because I have been known to be a little hit or miss with dangerous implements and have the scars to prove it.
He might come up behind me and kiss me on the neck or do a little dance.
Whatever he did, he would do it out of love (and maybe expediency!)
When I spoke to him last night, I was bemoaning the fact that this would have been our twentieth Thanksgiving together, and how much I would be missing him and our routine.
He reminded me that our routine always includes one Thanksgiving Day argument.
Oh yeah. I’d completely forgotten! Of course.
So while I miss his company and his help, I will send him love in the Caribbean where they will not be having Thanksgiving or turkey (his favorite), knowing that we each skip the fun but we also skip the argument!
I’ll enjoy the time with my Dad and kids, and see if I can pull this off without any bloodshed.
Today is one of those rare and blessed days when it is FREEZING outside! My fingers are numb, writing to you from the porch, where it is normally in the 80 degree range.
When it gets too hot in the kitchen I will be able to throw open the windows and be glad of it.
I will take the opportunity to let the cold air circulate through the house and clean the energy.
This feels like a time when everything is changing – the struggles of 2014 have been mighty and ferocious at times, for all of us. In a way, we can hang together as an energetic group of souls, located everywhere around the world, brought easily together to banter and laugh, support and love, through the blessing of technology.
I feel like things are changing and shaking up. Clearing out to make way. To make room for the new. Going into the holidays and new year may be quite the wild ride as people give up on the old, give the exciting and new a spin, and see what they feel like creating now that Karma is gone and we have a big, blank slate before us.
I am not sure what a big, blank slate means exactly! It could mean Anything, which is simultaneously exciting and scary.
Someone just gave me so much to think about, along those lines. If nothing was holding you back anymore, what might you do? If your preconceived notions of right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable, were found to be completely inaccurate, how would you begin to make new rules for yourself? Or would you make any at all? Maybe you’d prefer to feel it out as you went along, instead. Who knows what new ideas, feelings and adventures you might suddenly be willing to give a go?
What if you didn’t have to spend time with people you don’t like, just because you are related?
What if you decided ahead of time that you were going to change your mind about someone unpleasant, and clear it ALL out before you met with them again? They could act any way they wanted to, but you would already be zen and pre-decided on your reaction?
What if you cleared all of that junk out of your psyche just because it is good for you? Would you feel peaceful?
Maybe then there would be room for more love, more friendship, more fun, and more adventure?