He walked into my office with a measuring tape. When I inquired what he was doing, he didn’t answer. I went to talk to a colleague and when I came back, my credenza was gone and all of my papers were lined up on the floor exactly as they had appeared a moment ago on my desk. Later that afternoon I returned to my office and found an enormous folding table had arrived and my papers were relocated there.
The next morning I found an email in my in-box from the person who had moved my papers and furniture around without asking or informing me. It copied management and human resources and accused me of being rude to him and the new colleague who had started that morning by not saying good morning on my way in. He implied the rudeness stemmed from being offended by the furniture move the day before.
The fact is, I did say good morning to him and separately to the receptionist – two hellos – and didn’t even notice the new colleague seated off to the side with the new furniture rearrangement. What can I say, at 8am I am not that alert.
We had someone be incredibly rude, which they are prone to be, to multiple people, but it is the kind of rudeness that has no basis in reality either. You could be standing on your head doing a favor, making life easier, or saving the company lots of money but they will rudely complain that they cannot fathom why you had to send THREE EMAILS INSTEAD OF ONE. Yes, they employ caps – in business! – regularly.
I was explaining the exchange to a third party and I asked,”Do I have to break out the baby wipes and wipe their butt, too?”
The third party looked at me and said,”I just…cannot.” I asked her what that meant exactly? She said that she simply would not engage with a person who was that far off the rails. She just…would not.
There’s a lesson in boundaries if I ever encountered one!
As we move into another Mercury Retrograde today I can already see that we are going to be revisiting some of the nonsense we went through in October of last year, the “scene of the crime” in my life. I’m not sure what you were doing this time last year (think back, now!), but I was laying down the law and setting boundaries, being accused of ridiculous “crimes” I didn’t commit but which live in others’ minds on Repeat, appalled by other people’s rude behavior. I was being scapegoated for about the millionth time and had to say, no more.
When lessons come back around like this, we might show the universe that yes we got it the first time and no we do not need to revisit. As my third party said,”I just…cannot!” Will not.
Go ahead and try because this time the shovel you are trying to knock me in the head with will bounce so hard off my invisible force field that it will put you six feet under. I say this with a smile of a kind.
Right now I have important things to do, and I know you do too, right?
My dog who got hit by a car in the spring had his surgery fail after five months, which is almost unheard of – and now I need to decide if I proceed with a final surgery which will permanently change his anatomy. I need to figure out who will watch him afterward, since my husband is overseas. I have kids who need things and I have serious work to do. I will not be sidetracked or deflected from what I need to do by nuisance makers of any variety.
We’ve been working on this lesson for far too long to need to say hello again. It is very definitely goodbye.