Is It A Burden Or A Blessing?

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43-burden

We are past the half way mark of this Mercury Retrograde in Libra/Scorpio and we are steeped in the drama of our trauma!

Everything wants to CHANGE now and be transmogrified and KAPOW, knock you off your feet, grabbing you by the throat until you finally, finally absorb, transmute, breathe it out, and get it.

I know when big energy whammies are in the works because all the men lose it.

Usually, let’s face it, the women, the emotional ones, go first.  In fact, they are shifting and changing and banging around from rational to irrational so often that it’s nothing new when someone starts freaking out and screaming in the office (at least at some workplaces which shall remain nameless).

But when the men start to exhibit signs of having emotional breakthroughs and breakdowns, that’s a sure indicator that we are collectively offering up a whole lot of trauma for release.

So if you are facing a place in your life that is so uncomfortable you just can’t take it anymore, it is such a burden and you feel you must throw it off your back or perish, know that you are not alone.  Everyone else is in it with you, and it will not last forever.  Give it two or three more weeks.  Face it, stare it down, feel it move through your system, and you will have your release.  It’s just a lot of pent-up pressure right now.

If you are having your childhood traumas rear up and you want to shout,”VALUE ME!  RESPECT ME!” or,”I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!” then great!  You are processing through it and you will soon be out the other side of the layer you were carrying on your back for far too long.  Technically, things come up for release on a schedule of sorts, so if this is your time then be glad of it.

The brilliant part, which we tend to forget when we are in the midst of cataclysmic internal shift, is that on the other side is the reward.

No, it’s not fun to have to process, sit with, and internally review our worst nightmares and fears and abandonments, but it’s just one of those things you have to do if you want to move through and land in the next part of your destiny.

Otherwise you end up kind of missing the energy train and getting stuck in the mud and the muck, and frankly, I’d rather do my work and feel the sun on my face and the lightness of being that flows through you when you reach the other side, wouldn’t you?

And oh, how we forget all the help we are getting on our journey through the pain!  We feel alone and bereft and confused and startled and mostly,”How did I get here?” or lately,”How did I get here AGAIN?!”

Everyone’s story this week seems centered on betrayal, abandonment, childhood trauma, spousal detachment, and that general feeling of,”I am completely alone in the world and everyone I thought I could rely on has disappeared or betrayed me or not given back what I’d hoped for.  I guess I have to rely on myself.”

Part of that makes me sad, but another part of me wants to pat them on the back and say,”Yes!  Rely on yourself first!  Know that you do not get your worth through other people, it is something that comes from your own soul, your own esteem, and nowhere else.”  That is the first step, to stop looking outside yourself for validation.

After you’ve processed that lesson, look around you and find all of the people who do love you, because they are there.  And not just people, but animals and nature and your favorite places, and Spirit all around you, always supporting you.

It’s interesting that a lot of ancestral pain dynamic seems to be active and being processed.  I wonder if we are in a time when a lot of that cyclical, repetitive family pain pattern that seems to exist in our DNA is up for release now?

This is brutal stuff and there are very many relationships that are ending because the patterns are being released.

People are getting down to the nitty-gritty, to the ugliness of what’s been buried, rotting away for a long, long time.

The bright side of this is that there are some relationships that will (probably surprisingly) survive this phase and go on to feel lighter and happier.  Those that don’t?  Well, they were meant to go away now.  Don’t cling.

If that sounds scary (because you had Plans!), remember that the universe to some degree does direct your course – there is such a thing as destiny – and if you cling to outworn and sad situations that no longer fit with your energy, then you are just dragging it out like ten years in divorce court fighting over the Crate and Barrel glasses from 1995.  Don’t do it.  Be honest with yourself and remember that joy cometh in the morning.

Dreams

The dreams have been amazing this week!  Symbolic rather than obvious and literal, lots of good chewy stuff to turn over in your mind in the following days.  I’ve had angels visit in dreams, moving the energy around.  I’ve seen friends and visited them just as I would in real life, if I lived closer, and we worked on their problems.  I’m wondering if you’ve been having astonishing dreams or doing any astral traveling lately?

Pettiness and Laughter

Personally this has been a dramatic week with my four-year old runner of a dog having his second surgery, and me having to make a plan without my husband here.  If I’ve been having lessons lately they around the themes of independence and coping on my own.  But I do have a neighbor who is a dog whisperer and she came to sit with him while he is “on restriction” for two weeks.  She cleaned my house.  She went to my fuse box, flipped a switch and resolved an electrical problem.  I stared at that fuse box twice looking for the one marked “porch” and I would have sworn to you it didn’t exist until she walked me over to it and pointed right at it.

She said to me,”I don’t know how you do it all!” and I just had to laugh and point at my head and make crazy circles.  Yes, I do go crazy and get frustrated from time to time.  I’ve become forgetful because I have too much on my mind, and most nights I’ve collapsed into bed exhausted from dealing with and processing everything.

Like you, I just do what I can in a day and I move right along.  But there was some pettiness that popped up into my life this week.  A group of five people who never complained to me went behind my back and lodged a complaint.  The complaint was so petty I was shocked that adults could actually operate that way, but I shouldn’t have been.  With everyone moving into their trauma lately, why shouldn’t they all act like children?

Now I will grant you that what they were complaining about was technically true.  What it lacked was context.  If they knew why I was behaving as I was – if they had stopped to inquire, to ask me, to express concern (oh, I know, I’m dreaming there!) – they might have been ashamed.  So after I was spoken to, and I made my explanation but no excuses, I did have the opportunity to let the ring leader know my truth.

Neither of us was right or wrong, we had our own versions I suppose of why we acted as we did.  But in the end, I realized something: I’ve been on earth many more years (decades) and I have a certain kind of experience and perspective that the other person lacks.  She’s going to have a baby soon.  When she does, she will enter my world.  Mommy World.  And it is going to kick her ass.

When it does it will be the job of every mother in the world to say,”Oh bless her heart,”  like they do in South.

As Robert Ohotto would say (and I’ve been listening him so much that his expressions get stuck in my head just like some people pick up other people’s accents, so I apologize),”I say that with all the love in my heart.”

The one thing she will gain, of this I am sure, is that all-important quality that brings us beyond the stage of childhood and into adulthood – empathy.

So let me ask you, what is it your turn to learn?

For those that are struggling and having breakthroughs right now, I’m sending you (energetically, of course!) something to amaze and delight you.  When you get your gift, let me know what it was.

Mine was a hysterical video that a blogging friend sent.

Demand to see Life’s Manager!  That, by the way, is you 🙂

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Comments

  1. I do have a question re: dreams – I only have recurring dreams, as I can remember many, many of my dreams and have pretty great recall. I’ve tried writing down my dreams in the past, but that hasn’t stopped many of my dreams from showing up again. They’re metaphorical, so I don’t understand them, and I don’t know anyone to really talk to about my dreams.

    What are some ways I can… reboot my subconscious? I’m tired of having my dreams on repeat – if they’re recurring, then there’s something I’m missing, but I don’t understand my dreams so how can I keep them from recurring? I definitely would like to have some new dreams now. :/

    I haven’t really felt or noticed anything energetically – but I’m really bad about that sort of thing and don’t really feel connected to any sort of larger power / global astrological transits. I have, however, been really intent on trying to leave a retail job I’ve had for over a year because it’s really toxic emotionally – the guests especially, but some of the managements too – and wanting to write and do creative work full time. I dunno if that counts though.
    Tatiana recently posted..Tech In Motion: Indie Game Developers in PhillyMy Profile

    • Try http://www.worldofdreamsymbols.com/reoccurring-dreams.html for a pretty great explanation of why we have recurring dreams. Just in case there’s something in there you hadn’t considered previously.

      I know you’re going to say you don’t have the money, but what you need is a really great psychologist who specializes in dream analysis (of course, what analyst doesn’t?!)

      I feel like you already have people in your life (intuitives, for example) who have stated what is going on with you energetically. Your dreams are trying to hit you over the head with the same information. Dreams are the higher self or souls’s way of knocking on our head and saying,”Hello in there! I’m trying to get a message across here!” If we do not receive the message, and keep our life on the same trajectory, then we will keep on getting those pesky dreams. They are trying to do you a favor by sharing knowledge with you.

      Another possible way for you to get dream interpretation is to go to one of the many dream interpreters on line, but do your due diligence.

    • Laura Gallagher says:

      MY DEAREST JULIE;

      IF YOU HAVENT JUST EXPLAINED MY LAST TWO WEEKS OF LETTING GO, OF PRIMAL CHILDHOOD WHAMMIES,(WHICH ONLY YOU ARE BASICALLY PRIVY TOO)AND VALIDATION EXPECTATIONS FROM FAMIY MEMBEERS THAT QUITE FRANKLY ARE PAST THEIR EXPIRATION DATE, YOUR ARTICEL WAS TIMED PERFECTLY AND I MUST SAY WE ARE ASTRALLY ALIGNED!!!!. YES HEALTHY NEGLECT, OR PARENTING BACK THEN, HAS MADE ME SO OMNIPOTENT AT TIMES I FORGET I NEED A SOUL. I HAVE STARTED TO SEE MORE CLEARLY THE DIVINE SPIRIT OF THE SUN IN THE FACE AS YOU MENTIONED , WORKING HARD TO CLEAR THE CLUTTER. IT DOES FEEL ASTONISHINGLY LIGHT. THOSE MOTHERS TO BE DONT HAVE A COMPLAINT FOR MY DEAREST AND OLDEST FRIEND, ITS MORE HER OWN PREMONITION OF LOSING CONTROL AND DISPLACING THAT DISSATISFACTION ON A COWORKIER LIKE U, WHO ONLY SPEAKS IN CONTEXT AND RARELY BLOWS CANDY ASS FASKERY FOR JOB PPPULARITY , SHAME ON HER , WATIT TILL HER SLEEPLESS NITES HIT AND SHES IN THE GROCERY STORE AT MIDNITE NOT REMEMBERING HER OWN NAME.
      U ARE MY HERO JULIE HEROINE THAT IS SINCE PREP SCHOOL, KEEP SHEDDING THE LIGHT AND WRITING YOUR BLOG…XOXOLAURA

      • My dearest Laura! You have hit the nail on the head once again – love you for seeing right through to the heart of things. That’s it, it’s a control issue. I am so glad you came by, words cannot express! You spread joy wherever you go and I was overdue for a big dose of it 🙂

  2. Loretta Steeves says:

    Thanks, I really needed that. But (whine), it’s really no fun being back in second grade, AGAIN.

  3. No drama or trauma over here – I don’t think Mercury knows I exist. I’m fine with that, so don’t tell him, kay? Plus I’ve worked out most of my major issues already, I think.

    I might be getting a new job though, so wish me luck! 🙂

    P.S. Tatiana, you might want to study lucid dreaming. Maybe you can get into your dreams and mess around with them deliberately. Could be fun! 🙂
    The Painted Universe recently posted..This Dream Takes the CakeMy Profile

  4. Anne McCarroll says:

    Oooooh, Mercury, I love to hate you! Ha! And worse, what came up I knew would
    Come.
    But ‘it’ is moving – so I keep moving.
    Julie, as long as I’ve read your posts, I’ve always had a sense that you did
    It all on your own…that your husband did his part, but was more of a phantom presence in a sense – while you drove the ship. It just felt that way. I think you will do just fine right now, and your boys will thank you for it later. You already know this, I know, but people need to keep saying it. Not for the pat on the head, but to show you it is all working.
    Keep trucking!
    (Where’s your Native man spirit, btw?)

    • Hi Anne, It’s good that you knew ahead of time, that’s one way to confirm your system knows what’s up.

      It’s weird to be living his dream without him in it.

      I don’t know about my indian spirit, he is probably around here somewhere.

  5. anonymouse says:

    Well this post has me GOBSMACKED. Now usually these posts are timely for me and I can always learn from each post.. but this one is just freaky! I have had dreams that were vivid, and the places I have been almost a hyper real place (the handful of such dreams I remember, most of the rest I forget).
    But. A few days ago I awoke remembering two people smiling and talking (I never remember what they say that often) to me almost talking me through something or explaining.. then they were pulling a ‘cord’ between them and me gently rocking back and forth like a give and take (the cord moving between us) . So when I read your post maybe it was re alignment of energy/some sort of tune up? HA! I literally laughed out loud so loudly that my sweet napping cat ran away.

    I also had yet ANOTHER visit chatting amicably with someone I dated years ago- an intense connection but tumultuous one- these have happened over many years here and there. Always visiting amicably, like friends for coffee talkign sort of thing. Quite confusing and again this one guy popped up and we were hashing things out. Really not sure what this means and wonder if is one sided but it’s like friends coming to some sort of agreement sort of deal.

    Old *issues* about childhood stuff are so back for a visit. And that ancestral link/perhaps people are purgining some Group Karma/family karma at the same time they are working on their own issues? I put up photos of old relative (ones I had not met, long dead before me, but I liked a few b.c of the stories about them and felt drawn to them/think their personalities sounded so like people I’d want to hang out with ha) I did that actually right at merc retro in tbhe beginning. Do you think they know/can feel that sort of thing and perhaps they lend a helping hand to their ancestors from the Other Side? It sounds far fetched but it would nice if they did!

    • Everything you just said are the issues that have been swimming with everyone. You are exactly in the waters that everyone is swimming in, it’s kind of uncanny and you put it better than I could have.

      I will check out that dream information.

      There do seem to be plenty of ancestral issues that we are meant to “finish” for the family, definitely! It’s not always just about us as individuals, working through our stuff. That can be part of what we came here for. The people in those photos are “talking to you”, that’s probably why you are drawn to them right now they are calling to you to interact with them, giving you the idea to go look for their photos. When you look at the images, you can imagine having conversations with them – that is actual information. Some people are most easily intuitively connected when they look at photos (I am one of them).

      • anonymouse says:

        Thanks.. I do feel a little better and less loopy (sometimes will wonder if I am imagining the connection to these people I somehow like more than a lot of goofy family members who are still around now 🙂 good to know there is something to this, then. Want to hear something neat? I went for a walk in a small cemetery post photo viewing. I decided to veer off the path and towards the end of the cemetery and guess what stone I just happened to look at (caught my eye immediately amongst all of the others?) the one that had my maiden name/the last name of the ancestors I was looking at! I laughed and thought ‘Ok, that’s a big nod hello’/ Then my eyes landed on another stone not too far right after that- the other last name/family name of the people in the photos. I mentally ‘thanked’ them for the acknowledgment. Kind of a profound and exciting feeling and made me feel much better. Especially as I feel quite alien/disconnected to estranged family right now. I feel very supported and grateful for that.

  6. anonymouse says:

    Oh, also for anyone above asking about dreams I recommend Robert Moss (check out you tube for interviews too, just fascinating stuff) mossdreams.com (not sure if it is kosher to leave a link?)
    Happy dreaming!

  7. The times they are a changin’

    Freaking men and their wacky emotions. 🙂

  8. Really enjoyed reading this as always. Explains a lot of the craziness I’m seeing around me this week.

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