Life Is An Adventure?

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About 9pm, it was pitch black in the woods except for me all lit up on the porch with my laptop in my hand, about to shut it down for the night and put the kids to bed.  The little white dog started to whine in her,”Let me chase it and kill it for you!” way, when I heard it.

Just off the porch and slightly behind me, there is standing water in the yard from all of the unseasonal rain.

Splash, splash, splash, splash went the sound on the water.  Someone, or something, with between two and four legs was slogging through the high grass.

Bigger than a breadbox, this thing was not small, or the pace would have been faster and the sound different.  By the time I got inside to turn on the floodlights, it was gone.  It was either a human, which would be extremely creepy and unlikely in this location, or something the size of a deer or bigger.

Except we don’t have deer here, we have foxes, bobcats, panthers – sights almost never seen.  We usually get the small stuff – raccoons, sandhill cranes, hawks, owls, vultures.

My older son said,”I wish you hadn’t told me that,” and we went to bed.

I’m feeling perkier since the Goat Toe Malaise of the last couple of months.  I’m not sighing as much when I look at the interior and exterior mess that I am getting energized to take a stab at.  I’m holding out hope that my neighbor will be able to help soon.

Did I tell you about my neighbor?  I feel like you all have missed out on so much while I was kind of silenced here, all the juicy bits left on the cutting room floor.  She was my house and dog sitter while I went overseas to see my husband over the summer and she is competent with house repairs and cleaning, except that right after she left here she had a mysterious fall and couldn’t get up.  She ended up in rehab after the hospital, for three weeks.  One day, maybe, we’ll work side by side on the weekends and I will pay her and my load will be lightened.

The little guy has a cavity, the $5,000 dog-that-was-hit-by-a-car isn’t using his rear leg again suddenly this past week, and I’m noticing just how often I need to leave work early to take care of personal things like dentist and veterinary surgeon visits.  I’m perplexed by how people manage their time as single mothers who must work, because there is no schedule that wouldn’t piss off a boss.

It’s Saturday morning and I’m making my oldest drink ice water for his impending second-try for a blood draw at the doctor.  The rooster has crowed, the donkeys are braying, the horses are neighing, and the dogs in the distance are barking, while my injured one lays at my feet.

I used to write about the lessons I found in the week, and I’d like to do that again, ease myself back in amongst the chaos of an ordinary life.  I mainly need to leave out the part about my husband, but I can say that he’s been gone almost 4 months now and I am very hopeful he’ll make an appearance at the homestead finally in October.  He has a ticket but what he doesn’t have is time.  He has been working nonstop it seems and could use some downtime.  He would take my complaints list and turn it into a holiday – it would seem like nothing to him, and he’d be done in a day, he’s efficient and energetic that way.

Lessons, lessons.

Well, it seems that I’ve been asked to dip my toe back into old energy as a favor, and I have refused, after careful consideration.  I feel guilty to say no, when it would help someone I care about, but there are certain people and situations that we do not need to relive once the lessons are learned and the boundaries set.

I had to say no, acknowledge the guilt that really does not belong there, and let the chips fall where they may.  If they fall.  Just because they have always fallen in the past, does that mean they need to keep doing so?  I don’t think so.  I think this is a time when we can let go of old patterns and set an intention that only joyful good will come out now, because we have changed.  One little change to the dynamic should or at least could bring a different outcome.

There have been people irking me by asking for help and then, once I have said okay, they don’t follow up, call back, or answer my questions.  It’s like a friend who asks for a favor and then once you’ve said,”Yes, I’ll help you move,” they never set the date or call you back or say thank you.  In this age, we know when someone has received our message, so there is no guessing here.  They drop their end, fail to respond, and they started it.

I appreciate friends who hate talking on the phone and don’t call back for three months.  Okay, friend, I have ONE friend who I let get away with this and do not resent.  There are others who I know hate to talk and I never reach out to them, I just allow them to cruise on by when they feel like it.

But the ones who reach out and then drop their end of the line annoy me, and interestingly I’ve had some who I go way back with, show up in droves lately and then disappear.  The sheer number of times this has happened in the last month brought it to my attention and awareness, and I don’t know what lesson there might be here other than to drop my energy attachment to it and let it go.

Everyone has been asking me when my husband is coming back, to which I have to honestly say,”He isn’t.”  Or at least, he’s happy down there and I hope he will stay that way.  They want to know what we will do, to which I can only say that a family belongs together and if you do happen to have two parents available to raise two young children then you had better damn well use them while you can.  Otherwise you wake up one day and they are adults and you have missed your chance.

The implications of this are so big that I just wonder, is life meant to be lived as an adventure?  Because this surely will be one!

One last thing before I jet off to the doctor.  What do you think of your daily life?  How important is it to have Things To Do or Resources Nearby or Places To Visit?  If you are in a remote place, instead of a city, do you think you have everything you need?

If I think about it, I don’t often take advantage of much.  I enjoy the woods, love the beach, and other than taking the kids to school, going to work, arranging playdates, or seeing Grandpa, we don’t technically do that much.

I wonder if it would make much difference on an island where there isn’t much else to do?

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Comments

  1. That last question you presented – I think about that a lot. Here I live in a world class city with endless things to do. Art everywhere. Culture, diversity, endless opportunities. And for the most part, I don’t really take advantage of it. I stick to my neighborhood and my community. I go to work, take care of the kidlet. Rinse and repeat. I ask myself why I’m still here, paying the big bucks for my rent, groceries and other living expenses, when I could feasibly live in a smaller (more affordable) town for much less.

    But there is something about this place that keeps me here. I hope to once again, some day, take advantage of all this place has to offer. But for now the way my life is, I haven’t got the time. I could certainly live on an island, happily. The weather (which you are already used to) would be my #1 driving factor. And apart from that, the healing energy of the sea. I think you could be happy there. Boring people don’t get bored. And you are not boring.
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  2. I lived on an island for 12 years. I was always busy. Even though it was only 7miles by 14 miles in size I was amazed how you could avoid people if you wanted. I didn’t have any problems living that lifestyle. At least twice a year I needed my America fix: to go clothes shopping in a department store, buy sneakers, see a movie in a theatre, have McDonalds, visit friends etc. but to sit on a beach and watch the sun rise or set in the beauty of the ocean was a resounding bonus for me. I miss it. But I am a landlubber now. I laugh when I think about saying, I have to drive all the way over there! (Meaning the other side of the island, a half hour at best. Yesterday I drove 5 hours in traffic to pick up something for my daughter. No ocean to look at, but I saw a great sunset. It’s just a different frame of mind. Island time is different. It’s just a mental adjustment. Throwing away your watch is the first step towards island time.

    • Val, Oh I know Island Time! It is a huge adjustment, easy on vacation, not too sure about regular life. Yes this would be a similar “all the way over there.” Thanks for chiming in, interesting to know you did this for so long.

  3. The first thing I did was to learn everything about the island, historically, plant wise, (tropics are spice havens, I’d be all over that) then energetically. Finding the vortexes were fun. Every island jas them. (Talk to the pirates;) It only takes a couple of months tops to get in the flow. Once the kids are settles, get a part time job, outside of the family biz. You’ll be fine.

  4. Mary Stephenson says:

    Hi Julie

    Thoughts on the subject. Wherever your heart is, that is where you belong. Life would be less complicated for you on the island…I am sure the kids would be happy wherever they are.

    Make a list of the pros and cons and your decision will be less complicated.

    I grew up on an island that was 20 miles long and 5 miles wide. As a kid it was an adventure, as I had the beach and the woods, also peace and quiet. A place where you could breath fresh air and hear a single car coming a mile away. You could hear killer whales crashing against the still water a mile off shore. But my parents were not involved much in community events, so I think I suffered a bit from island isolation. Other than that it was a great place to raise a kid.

    Now I live in a big city with a view of the hills across the road. I am grateful for that and know that is what I need when I finally get out of this big city. But isolation is still a factor…as I never feel like I belong here. The heart is tugging for a different place and knowing that I will have to get out of my comfort zone when I do and seek out friendships.

    I guess my point here is what are you giving up by moving and do you want to, if so, then pack your bags and go for the adventure you may regret you never took.

    Mary

    • Hi Mary, That sounds like an idyllic childhood. Isolation is a funny thing – it seems to me that I have felt more isolated in cities teeming with people than I have where it is quiet and I can hear myself think. I don’t feel particularly “at home” where I am now, either. In the neighborhood, yes, and sometimes around town when I run into people I know from the schools, but I don’t find that there is a whole lot of cohesiveness here. There is no town center that is made up of old places, where you can just walk around, it’s mainly shopping malls and Starbucks and stuff that is the same everywhere. I kind of miss where I grew up, because it felt more like a true community, with institutions that had been there for hundreds of years or at least traditions that held up for more than 50 years.

      But home is really where you and the people you love are, so when a place itself calls out to you, it seems like a good idea to go!

  5. With technology you won’t feel as remote. I love the idea of magic being everywhere . Hopefully not too much bad magic! I say go for the adventure. Life is too short.

    • Mary, I can say when I visited that I wanted to come home to process everything, it didn’t feel like I could do it there, energetically speaking. Not sure that makes sense – it was kind of like easy to be there very “in the moment”, very calm, but to connect with my team I felt it was not so easy to take it all in because there was so much.

  6. I think you’ll be fine. There’s enough going on in your head to entertain you for a lifetime. And if you ever do get bored, Skype me. I’ll keep you amused. 🙂
    Jennifer Lynne Flint recently posted..Life Goes OnMy Profile

  7. I just miss having people close to me. I am surrounded by people but am lonely all the time. I’m good company…I just don’t know why I don’t have any. I wouldn’t ever say this out loud to anyone, except here, where it’s not taken the wrong way. It doesn’t feel like an adventure when you’re alone.

  8. I find things to do where ever I go but I do like having lots of options/choices. Still I usually find adventure is ready, all you have to do is be open to it.
    Jack recently posted..My Laughing PlaceMy Profile

  9. Hey Julie,
    Sorry I haven’t been on here in awhile, I am one of those single parents you were talking about that HAS to work and things with my kids and my health have taken a toll on me lately so have not been online as often lately. Trying to read things I’ve missed over the last several weeks and slowly catching up. I hope you’re doing well and still wish you blessings and love 🙂

    Lorin

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