Changes

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Last week some of you saw Part One of the story of our visit to see my husband in another country where he moved for work in June.

It was only up for a short time though so that was followed by some people asking if there was something wrong with their eyes, didn’t they (finally) see a new post from me earlier that day?  They came back to read it and it was gone.

Those who completely missed it during its brief window of existence started to write to me asking if I was OK or just busy, because I hadn’t put up a new post in some time.

I wish that I could continue what I’ve been doing for the last few years here, writing about what I’ve learned or discovered that week.  That generally means that I write about my personal and family life.

At first I drew the line at writing about my day job in any way, because it was inappropriate.  Eventually it became company policy not to do so, and as far as I know I am the only person there with a blog.

If I wrote about my personal life it would be inevitable that the one person who I was referring to would choose that very week to read my blog for the first time and get angry with me for discussing our private matters in public.

There are many, many stories that I would have loved to have written about.  They had rich lessons in there for me and hopefully for some of you.  They were funny, sad, ridiculous and sometimes astonishing.

Good judgment and a little forced self-censorship left me leaving them in Draft Status, never to see the light of day.

It’s cathartic when you can use writing as a tool to help you put elements of your life together and share it with others, getting feedback.  Inevitably you will get other viewpoints on life situations, which is like a checks and balances on whether or not you are seeing the whole picture, being honest with yourself, and seeing others viewpoints clearly or through the Looking Glass.

When I sat down to write about our grand travel adventure last week, I told the story from beginning to middle, as if you were right there experiencing it with me.  I planned to write one or two more parts, bringing you to the end, interested in whether you would see it my way or provide me with perspective that I was missing.

When you post on the internet, anyone and everyone can find you, but realistically I never expect anyone to take the time out of their life to look.  Who has the time or the interest?  Sure, a prospective employer might bother to google me and immediately find the blog, because I saw no point in hiding (counterproductive to what I am trying to accomplish here) and so I put my full name on the blog.  Blogs – there are so many, and mine is as obscure as the next guy’s.

Still, I’ve been asked not to write about the family in a public forum and so I took that post down and I will respect those wishes.

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Comments

  1. Boo hiss! In my typical rebellious nature I say kiss my pants! It’s not sbout them, it’s about the bigger picture, you help people with your blog & for me that form of censorship, that freedom of expression wouldn’t fly with me. My friends & family know that about me, while I am respectful to them I do what makes me happy regardless of how they feel about it. I hope you know what I mean when I say that. I’m not completely selfish. I’m a good person, I do rescue work with mastiffs, I do things for others just because & smile at a stranger. It’s just that I try to always nurture & honor my spirit. I hope that you can find a way to still honor yours. I love your blog & at times really need your pearls of wisdom to illuminate my path. Hope it all works out Julie. : )

    • Hi Nicole, While I appreciate the sentiment, my family’s welfare takes priority over everything else and there were legitimate and valid reasons behind the request. Don’t worry, I will keep writing.

  2. Anne McCarroll says:

    So what about your need for catharsis and lessons learned via writing? Will you write for your own sake and not publish? If it does you that much good, keep it up for yourself on some other format. Family wishes are important; so is your evolution and growth.
    I adore you and your blog. You save that seat on the back porch-I’m there- waiting to see the Indian, listening to the rustles in the trees and not coughing while you chain smoke your way through this. I’ll make tea, okay? 🙂 I can tell you stories and make you laugh. I dare say Lisa needs a chair, too!! You both were the first bloggers I found when this all started for me years ago-and you’re my tribe. I’m with ya, blog post or no. Your post today is loaded with its own lessons.

    • Hi Anne, No I don’t think I will write just for me. I don’t keep a journal or anything like that. I will keep writing here, but I will change it. Everything else might belong in a novel.

      As for the porch, it is full of goat poop at the moment, but if you and Lisa come by, I promise I’ll sweep 🙂

  3. Mary Stephenson says:

    Hi Julie

    I was anxiously waiting for “part 2 &3”. Yes, I thought it was brave of you, but I also understand the risk you took. Unfortunately when it is in print it becomes a bigger issue than when it remains in the mind.

    I am filled with rage and anger at times and other than writing for my eyes only it will never be there for others. Eventually I calm down and become rational and evaluate the situation for what it is. Always in the back of mind is that someone might read it, even the people I am no longer in contact with and I will stand by what I write.

    Mary

    • Hi Mary, I mentally sort through the signs and such through writing or meditation or both, but not everything is meant for public consumption, is it. I really am not concerned with what anyone thinks and whether someone acts well or poorly can be for so many reasons beyond the obvious that it is never so simple as it may appear. Yet, I could be giving out awards for how wonderful I think something is, and someone would find a way to twist it around so that it seems like I was just being sarcastic or hateful. That is just the reality and I have to live with it. Thanks for your thoughts on this, much appreciated.

  4. Sticking your tongue out and stamping your feet to show how independent you are is silly – which is why I completely agree with you. Family first, even if they’re dicks sometimes. While we’re creating this reality for ourselves, it’s just a fact that we’re not the only ones, so we take steps to accommodate that.

    I once heard an esteemed author say that he couldn’t write what he really wanted to write until he was in his 70’s and his parents died. It’s a powerful thing.
    Michael recently posted..Enjoy Your Self!My Profile

    • Mike, Funny you should mention acting like a baby, because I have been so frustrated lately that indeed that’s how I’ve felt (though not over this issue).

      I am still working out how it is that you can take 10 people, have them read the same thing, and come to 10 completely different conclusions.

  5. Well, crud. I missed the whole thing entirely. I guess you’d better call me. 🙂

  6. Loretta Steeves says:

    Julie,

    For me, your process is what makes your blogs so compelling. The blogs make me think, “Oh look, I’m not in this craziness alone.” That aspect can manifest whether or not you mention anyone else.

    Ever onward,
    Loretta

  7. Hi Julie ~
    Let me say I loved your blog and looked forward to the emails I got letting me know your stories were there to be read. For whatever reason your posts always paralleled whatever was going on in my life, weird I know! Even this one…. CHANGES, yes of late I have been going through a ton of them within my family. Some of them I even hesitated on opening because I was afraid of the similarity I would see and not want to know what would be coming my way, lol!! I totally understand and agree, yes, family first! Best wishes to you!

  8. Loretta Steeves says:

    This says it much better. “Writing about the spiritual search without writing about oneself is like writing about a road trip and never mentioning the car.” Elizabeth Lesser

  9. Sometimes time is what is needed.
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