Kill Your Perfectionist And Go With The Flow

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It’s like when my husband tells me “how I am” about something and he turns out to be right.

How did he know?  And how annoying is that?

How Do You Think I Got So Rich

Well, experience (with a person, or otherwise) really DOES give you the edge, my friends.  He’s known me for nearly two decades, and he can see what I cannot see about myself.

So it is with me when I read you.

It reminds me of the old Gallo wine commercial, when the obviously wealthy man pours from a jug of inexpensive wine, much to the surprise of the beautiful young woman by his side.  He says,”How do you think I got so rich?”

There are “secrets” in professional intuitive reading – or maybe I should refer more to methodology –  but that doesn’t mean it’s difficult, as much as it means you have to know what to do and what not to do, how to see even when you are blocked.

I was having my final Psychic Sparks professional intuitive development sessions and the people were not necessarily liking what I was sharing with them any more than I like being wrong and having my husband be right.

I was seeing something that they already knew, but couldn’t see clearly.

Every individual is sent to me for a specific reason, and I’m not sure I’ve seen the same reason twice.

It seems to them that I already know some part of them, same as my husband can say after almost twenty years.

That’s because their guide team is showing me why they were sent to me in the first place.  Sometimes it has nothing whatsoever to do with learning to do professional intuitive readings, so that confuses people who signed up to learn to do them!

If you do X, you will get Y, I say.  So has it occurred to you to consider Z as your next step?

The funny thread of these sessions, where I am working with the person to get them to their next step in learning to follow their intuition, discover a life path, or do readings for others, is that no matter who they are they seem largely surprised with what I’ve told them.

They always validate the message, it makes sense to them, these are all things that they know about themselves even if they have to dig deep to find it.

And yet, they don’t see it the same way that I am given it by spirit.  Sometimes it is just a stepping stone to Part Two.

The Bane of Practice Readings

Some people seem to get clarity and then they are off and running, while others seem to get stuck at the practice readings phase.

The idea behind doing practice readings, if you’ve never done them, is to establish a sort of spiritual dictionary of your own.  If you don’t understand how your spirit guides are communicating with you, then meet 10 other people’s spirit guides and learn all of the many ways they will look, act, and sound in order to get messages through to their human, and then consider what they all have in common.

You often get a “group study” effect, where you learn one lesson or subject well by being sent three people in a row with the same issue.  I’m not sure why this happens, it just does.

You begin to establish your own personal spirit dictionary, and this helps when you get messages for yourself because suddenly you can recognize them!

Just Kill Your Perfectionist Already, And While You’re At It Take Down “What If It’s My Imagination?”

People do get stuck on perfectionism.

What if the client doesn’t like, trust or understand what you are giving them?

Well, they’re called practice readings for a reason – it’s a learning experience!

Feedback is the way you start to learn to trust what information you do receive, and how it might be interpreted incorrectly due to your own internal filters.  People are very forgiving – and validating.  They will show you where you are wrong and inform you what was right about it.  “No that’s not my brother, that’s my dad,” sort of a thing.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard,”But that seems like it’s just my imagination!”

How else do you think you receive your intuitive information but through the senses and things being popped into your head by spirit?  Yes, it does seem just like your imagination because spirit uses that same channel to send you intuitive messages!

It’s like we all have trust issues.

The one thing that will tie you in knots is worrying about it before taking that giant leap of faith that all will be well, no matter what happens.  It will.

There is a sort of Adjustment Bureau and so if something you read is not quite exactly right and it’s important, you and the client still get guided in the right direction.

Messages for yourself or for others need not be perfectly interpreted – in fact, leaving interpretation up to the client is always recommended.  If they don’t see it today, they may see it in a month or a year.   The point is, you deliver the message just as it was given, that is your job.  How it is received and what gets done with it is not your job.

Tell The Truth

For those who are afraid to speak their truth or deliver a message, I usually just answer with,”Who cares what anyone thinks?”

Trust me, spirit is not concerned with it.  Are they.

I am very heavy handed in my message delivery.  I don’t do too much in the finesse department.  I am not here to wrap everything up in a pretty bow and hand deliver it to you, because first, I probably couldn’t if I tried, and second, you might miss the whole point if I delivered it to you couched in pretty terms and a fluffy white cloud.

I just tell it like it is and keep the faith that you can take it, or else you wouldn’t be here.

You guys are strong, you really are.

My suggestion to be free and stop concerning yourself over what others think – for which you have zero control anyway – stymies people, because they DO care and they want it to  be perfect.  Perfectionism is the thing that will kill you in any inspired endeavor.

What you are after is quality.  Your best effort.  Spirit doesn’t usually send all of the answers anyway, it doesn’t work like that, so it’s pretty much impossible to be perfect, that’s a human thing. The question you should be asking is, did it do what it was meant to do?  Well then, you’ve done your job.

But It’s So Easy!

I had to laugh when someone recently said to me,”But that’s it?  It’s that easy?”

Yes, that’s it, it’s that easy.  Kind of.

You see, she already had everything she needed, in terms of know-how, but she didn’t think she did. What she had was a giant, enormous, boulder sized blockage that she couldn’t get around.  I pointed out the boulder.  Now it’s up to her to decide how to carry it or if she should climb it or walk around it instead.  So she didn’t really come to me to learn how to read for others, after all.  She came to learn how to break through so she can actually begin to use what she already innately knows.

It’s kind of humorous to me how people think,”But it’s so easy!” when in fact, it is only easy to them.

There are many skill sets that it seems we are just born with.  They are just there for you.

The good fortune is to have them come completely naturally to us.  It’s not true for others.  So when you get that “easy” feeling, don’t think you are done yet.  It’s often just a piece of the puzzle.  A stepping stone.  A skill you had to have in place first before the real work begins.

For one, there are other parts to having a business or establishing good connections or any number of other elements that come into play that you may have no idea come with the territory, so just be grateful for the easy parts.

Sometimes I’m Just Here To Point Out The Obvious

Intuitive work is a process of learning and discovery.  The field of intuition is wide.  People vary enormously in their skill sets, natural inclinations and abilities.

People can really resist their skills.  Some things are so much a part of them that they cannot even see it as a special skill.

It’s like when you can’t separate your Primary spirit guide from yourself.  That Being has been with you from Day One, so it feels like a natural part of or extension of you to such a degree that you believe it IS you, or what you are used to recognizing as “your imagination.”

If someone got nudged to take my course, there is a purpose.  I’ve had many who are natural Mediums (ability to communicate with the dead).

I’ll ask them,”Were you aware that you are a natural medium?” and sometimes they’ll say no.  But a moment later, they’ll say something like,”Well I’m not afraid of ghosts, they are just around all of the time and I ignore them.”


That’s a medium!

I think they think that everyone can do that, but of course, they can’t.

It’s not typical for people to be aware that ghosts are all around them.

Like a moth to a flame – spirits of the deceased do know who can sense them, and they come right on over.

Maybe you are meant to be a medium.  Again, my course does not teach you to be a medium, but if I am seeing you that way then there is something else we are meant to do together, and dollars to donuts I will figure it out while we are talking.

If you paid good money to take a course on becoming a professional intuitive but instead you get one different insight that propels you forward into your destiny, then I’d say that’s money well spent.  You’ll get what you’re meant to get, if you put the effort in.  We get results, they just aren’t always the results we expected.

The unexpected kind fall under the category of “destiny.”

Well, you didn’t come here for what you already know, did you?

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  1. I really enjoy reading your articles. Every article has a little insight for everyone. I look forward to the next one. They have a calming/logical effect, if that makes sense at all. Thanks for all you do!

  2. Mary Stephenson says:

    Hi Julie

    Darn, you speaking to me again! LOL Had to come over for the title. I read that being a perfectionist will make you a procrastinator. I have that problem and started to evaluate my situation, knowing that doing nothing is not an option. So I started to jump in and do the ground work and not worry about how perfect the outcome will be, by that method I will find what is right for me. So far, so good. When I stopped the resistance all sorts of ideas came to me and I found ways that I might just succeed. On this journey new information has also started coming to me and what I never truly believed and made sense of, is now very clear.

    Loved the post today and very inspiring about knowing the path we should be on.


  3. Back in 2011, I was given a free online oracle card reading where the woman suggested I could be a medium. I immediately wrote it off – I’ve never had any experiences with ghosts or anything that wasn’t corporeal. The extent of my intuitive skill is/was an internal voice that often tries to help me make choices when it’s relevant (and often unexpected).

    And the second time someone suggested I had potential to be a medium was in the summer of 2011 I believe where I was attending a meet-up run by this woman who was going to connect with our Guides and give us a message. When she got to me, she said that I had the same Guide she did that helped her with mediumship.

    I haven’t really approached the subject at all since then, except to point out these happenings. I’m not sure what to believe. There’s nothing in my life to indicate that I have mediumship skill except for two random people in different cities at different times. But I don’t feel as if I have any capacity in this area.

    I dunno – your mentioning mediumship made me think of that!
    Tatiana recently posted..Conference Review: Wharton Web Conference 2014My Profile

    • Tatiana, Well you just never know, maybe it’s a sign? I never had anything like mediumship knowingly happen until one day (when I was doing intuitive readings) someone asked me if I could connect to their loved one who had died and I was all,”I dunno. Let’s try and see?” and of course it turned out to be easy as pie. But I had no clue I could do it. Still don’t have a need to do it, but it’s there I guess if someone needs help.

  4. Loretta Steeves says:


    Ditto to Sharron’s comment. Except I’m more narcissistic: “Each posting has a message for me personally.”

    Especially liked: “just kill your perfectionist already” and “drop the ribbons and bows.”

    Thanks. I needed that.

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