Refusing To Nail Down The Future

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What do you think of when someone asks you,”Where do you see yourself in three years?”

They don’t want the how, they just want you to imagine yourself as you wish to become and describe it.

I might have had a better response if I’d been asked to describe the interior of my soul, but I wasn’t.

Many moons ago, people would ask where I saw myself in five years in the context of the job and I couldn’t answer because I didn’t have the knowledge of what possibilities there were and how I might grow and change.

Then I did get that experience and decided I was uninterested in the answer.

“Hopefully not still here,” would have been my honest answer in most of the last fourteen years.

You do know what happens when you are of that attitude?  Everything changes.  Often.

I’ll never tell you that any of your experiences were meaningless, unnecessary or avoidable, because there does seem to be this “day follows night” pattern wherein we can connect it all, look back, and see the purpose and value in every stinking thing that happened, whether we liked it or not.

I’ll even admit that law of attraction is a piece (and just a piece) of the picture and sometimes there’s merit in looking up and asking for or just imagining yourself with $25,000 by July 31st if you have $25,000 of bills to pay.  When it arrives, no matter how unlikely it seemed at the beginning of the month, you could shout with joy or stand in awe but eventually what you most likely do is say thank you and be neutral, because you were honestly expecting it to show up.  It didn’t surprise you anymore.

While you may thrash over some things you perceive as going wrong, others will be going right.  There’s an ebb and flow to life where we sort through and break through a lesson or a boundary only to be brought up to the next level of learning or comprehension, so some things will get easier or at least not be so traumatic when they show up again.

“Oh that,” you’ll say.  “I’ve seen that before.  The last time I got fired it meant this, so I’ll just sit with it for a while and see what shows up.”  It loses some of its theatrics when it repeats itself.

Getting back to where I see myself in three years, not only did I not have an answer to that question, I refused to answer it.  I refused to even sit for a minute and imagine it.  My cohorts who were asking called me out on it, saying I was lacking perspective because my life has been turned upside down lately and I was jangled by it.  They are right of course.  There is something else, too.

One part is that there are aspects I am not enjoying right now that I would like to throw off, but I don’t know yet what might replace them.

I hope that everything will look completely different, but in a good way.

It’s like when I listen to Robert Ohotto on his Intuitive Readings Only shows.  Some of what he says brings me to deep new understandings.  At the last show I noticed that I already had integrated most of the lessons so I could and did answer the caller questions right before he did.  I didn’t read the people.  There was no intuition at work here.  There were universal principles that I have learned mainly (1) through listening to his podcasts for the last few years and (2) living and thrashing them out in my own life.

That’s when I remembered that I am a good student.

It forced me to recognize myself for the recent growth I’ve had on this enormous learning curve we call Life, and I’ll bet you have, too.

There’s this funny thing about intellect.  I am not nearly as intelligent as most of the people I am surrounded by in my personal life or family, historically or presently.  I come from a brilliant family, married a genius, and produced two little boys who can run circles around me intellectually.  Many of my friends are smart, smarter, and holy cow are you real?

So I wonder sometimes, why am I in their life?

I don’t actually know.

I suppose that would be something worth knowing in three years.

Each of us has this quality (or qualities) that we bring to the table that makes us uniquely desirable and makes people want to be around us.  I wonder if any of us really know what that is?

If you imagine the people who chose you (and yes, your birth family and you did choose each other, so count them in as well), why would you say that is?

You can say, “My friend and I get along because ____, we have _____ in common, but I think ____ chose me because I can uniquely bring ______ into their life.”

It would be very easy for me to rattle off the first twenty people I think of and tell you what I see in them, but I probably have no realistic idea of what they see in me.

It might be a nice favor to offer to someone, on a bad day of theirs.  Maybe.

I feel like I want the magic and the mystery to continue to unfold before I name it.  In naming it, we might leave some crucial things out, like what the universe has in store for us that we haven’t even begun to imagine.  I didn’t feel like shutting the door on that.  There is some element of “what you imagine comes true.”  There is also the piece that you’re going to get no matter what, whether it’s even begun to enter your space or not.

There are times when everything and nothing seem like a possibility.  You know that you don’t want to be where you know.  You know you are in transition.

So just be with it.

P.S. Last chance to sign up for my one-on-one professional intuitive mentorship program, Psychic Sparks.

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  1. <3, <3, <3 this post. I am beginning to believe that people can be part of your soul group even if you've never met them, or know what they look or sound like. I saw suggestions of this whilst doing some soul work a year & a half ago, but I didn't believe it to be true at the time. I recognize it now. I believe you are one of those people for me Julie. Your posts are always in sync with whatever I am attempting to grapple with, it seems that your blog provides the details or the conclusions or confirmations of the very thing I am trying to understand or answer. Thank you for always providing me with the nuggets that I need.

  2. One of the things I always love about your blog is that your perspective on Spirit is much different than most peoples. I guess because you’re a student, like you say, and I feel as if you’re writing things from this learning viewpoint than one of teaching (which is more common). With some other sites – and books – I’ve visited, I feel like I’m sitting at someone’s feet because there’s so much I don’t know, understand or personally experience. I feel like I have to take teachers at their word (even though that’s obviously not true, it still FEELS that way).

    But with you, I feel like I’m learning something alongside you, and discovering something new to think about. I don’t have to accept it as true – since you’re talking from your experience and not trying to convert me into thinking a certain way (which is also something teachers do).

    I definitely appreciate that.

    For me, this post made me think of being a Pisces North Node – which is all about letting go, and letting God. I’ve found, in my life, that whenever I get attached to a specific thing (or outcome or specific way of things happening), then that thing DOESN’T happen or sometimes the exact opposite happens. I’ve always felt that having goals proved to be my downfall, and I’m desperately trying to learn not to have attachments to things. To let my life unfold and do what I want to do.

    I think I’ve been trained to feel that if I don’t have tangible goals – and to work on them – then nothing will happen. So I tried to pursue Danielle La Porte’s Desire Map which focuses on your feelings that you want to create in your life. But I suffer from chronic depression, anxiety and other mental/emotional stuff that makes my feelings incredibly unreliable (particularly in terms of relying on them to help me get anywhere).

    But, it’s like you said in your post: I want things to be different – better than they are now. (Which I think is the purpose of goals and visualization – but sometimes I feel like the Universe works differently for everybody. Working toward specific things have ruined me. And I think I’d like to try something different where I let God work through me and with me.

    Or something. I just know that I can’t be where I am now any longer since it’s suffocating and ruining me.

    Great post!
    Tatiana recently posted..What It Means To Be Emotionally NeedyMy Profile

    • Tatiana, Just now I received a spam comment which led me to look in my spam folder and found your comment hiding in there. I typically don’t even glance in my spam folder because after I post it gets filled with hundreds of them, but “something told me” I would find a comment from a reader in there, and sure enough, there it was.

      THAT is what I have learned, to follow the little thoughts that pop in like outside information I need to act on. That alone has been life changing.

      A friend said the other day that “I am on to something” as if what I am experiencing, learning and doing is something new. From his perspective, it is. He calls it “following the intuition approach” to get to the same thing he is working on (mainly through reading about and discussing world religions and spiritual thought leaders). I think we are all doing the same thing – in our own ways – and I fail to see the difference between them.

      • Ah! I’m so happy you found my comment! I saw the blog had eaten it and I was like, “Oh no!” since it was too long for me to re-type!

        But yes! I actually have that too – things popping into my head – but I have a lifelong history of ignoring them. I don’t know why because I would love to listen to my intuition more! It’s been a struggle to learn to listen to my intuition (and to tell the difference when it shows up because it always comes as a thought that’s not much different than my other thoughts. Except, I dismiss my intuition and listen to my own personal neurosis instead!).
        Tatiana recently posted..What It Means To Be Emotionally NeedyMy Profile

  3. Transition. That resonates with me too. I’ve had some big personal shifts in my life over the past year, and I’m just going day to day, following the breadcrumbs of what catches my interest. I do very well when I am led by my heart, step by step.

    It will be interesting to see what unfolds for you as time passes. Hopefully all good.
    Sue recently posted..Summer Adventures and a Quick UpdateMy Profile


  1. […] don’t know what I want my life to look like 5 or 10 years from now – and there’s no reason why I should. But, at least a year from now, I’d like to think that I took a chance on myself – on […]

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