How To Read A Person’s Energy

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Whether you know it or not, you’ve already read the energy of everyone with whom you’ve come in contact.

Take a quick inventory of your family, friends, coworkers, and anyone else you regularly meet. There are those you like, those you avoid, those you go to only for certain needs, and those you go out of your way to visit, just to be in their presence.

Your Challengers

I’d forgotten about Dave.  I knew him in middle school briefly before I changed to a new place for high school, and I promptly forgot all about him.  Recently he showed up on Facebook, connected to me through another old acquaintance  I’d forgotten about, and the subject of reincarnation came up through a Carl Sagan quote.

Dave said that this life is “more than enough.”  Then he said,”I will leave this planet without the chance to enjoy everything this world has to offer, why does there have to be more?  This world is so amazing, self-awareness such a gift… I think to ask for more is the height of selfishness.”

Finally after a few more comments he said.”I watch people die almost daily through my job… and while many look forward to a better beyond… I see a tremendous amount of waste of the gift of life they’ve been given.”

It was the comment about “to ask for more is the height of selfishness” that got me and made me remember Dave.  Really remember Dave.  Dave’s energy.

He is what I would call a Challenger to me and my energy.  He was a very intelligent and handsome kid and remains so today in man version.  Nonetheless, he bugged me.  He sat a couple of chairs over and to the back and he constantly spit balled me.  He was the one who every time I made a statement, he challenged it with a different point of view in front of the class, just to be contrary, just to get my goat, just to see what I’d do.  He didn’t do it to anyone else, at least not in this particular class I’m remembering, and he wasn’t a bully nor was he flirting.  Whatever he would call it (and I don’t know what his memory of me is), I’d say he thought of it something like this, unconsciously: “I see your energy and I raise you two.  Your move.”

Since he was commenting on an area I feel really strongly about – reincarnation, how we live our lives and if any of it is actually wasted, what’s selfish and what isn’t – I wanted to write something back but I didn’t.  I just remembered his energy and thought how interesting it was that in the intervening 30 years or so, I hadn’t met anyone who could challenge me that way, since.

I looked at his two beautiful kids and his wife of a couple of decades, and decided (because I read energy best through photos),”Yup, she was a good match, she can take him,” and wished them well.

By “she can take him” I mean, she is a good energetic match and she wouldn’t permit him to run her over.

Who Makes You Happy?

There are certain people who will bring you joy.  It’s like kismet.  No matter how many times you’ve seen them or how long you’ve known them, you get a good feeling in your gut and heart every time you think of them.  There are usually few of these people in your lifetime, because there is no negativity.  You’ve never had an argument.  You’ve never wanted to smash their face in after a political or religious or whatever else pushes your buttons conversation.  You have had these talks, and you may even be coming from completely different points of view, but it does not produce disagreement or a churning in your gut.  Instead, their point of view expands yours.  You laugh together, and you simply feel happy after seeing or talking with them.

I would call these people Complimentary to your energy.

If you think about it, they fill holes or gaps in your common, everyday interactions with others.  They provide what is missing or undeveloped or lacking in you.

Some of these Complimentary people will be your Opposites, but not Opponents.  My old friend Laura from high school is my best example of this.  Where I am shy, she is outgoing.  Where she seeks fun, I am reserved.  If I need a lift, I will pick up the phone for Laura.  She can spend the entire time telling me about something bad, and I STILL feel uplifted by her.  I can’t explain it, except to say she has something within her that I need a good dose of.

Complimentary Soul Mates

Other Complimentary people will be your soul brothers and sisters.  I feel they are soul mates in the sense that you’ve been around and around and around the block with them in so many lifetimes that you know them cold, whether or not you’ve just met in this lifetime.  You recognize them without knowing them.

These are the people you could talk to endlessly, about anything, but the two of you always circle the same topics.  You grow at about the same rate.  When you speak, the other has just happened to have a similar experience so that they can shed insight on whatever has just come up for you.  They answer your questions, fill your gaps in understanding.

You can lose each other for years but when you catch up, you “pick right up where you left off” with no effort.  That to me is one of the biggest indicators of a soul friend.  Similarly, you can meet someone new and just dive right in to conversation or banter and stay in that space forever – it’s like finding a long-lost friend (because you have – you’ve known them before).

Who Brings You To Your Highest Level Of Excitement?

As humans, we tend to confuse sexual interest with highest excitement.  If someone gives you a charge, the first place some go is to think they have a romantic attachment, but they don’t.  You’ll know this if you allow that first flirtation impulse to wait a bit and go through the test of time and allow it to fizzle.  If it fizzles, then it’s not that kind of relationship.  Instead you’ve found something even more exciting – a soul with whom you can create.

If you meet someone who really sets off all of your bells and whistles but it does not fall into the romantic or sexual category, then it means you have quality, important work to do together – soul work.

I was reminded of this the other day when speaking with Paul, one of my complimentary soul mates.  He mentioned something about a recurring theme in his life, something that was always there in the background, no matter what else was getting his attention at the time.  That triggered me to remember something that I’ve always been looking for, a partner with whom to write.  I can remember back to the 5th grade when a girlfriend of mine and I used to have a book we’d write in, and we’d share it back and forth, each writing a bit of the story and then the other taking their turn.  She soon lost interest, much to my disappointment, and I have unconsciously been trying to “locate my writing partner” in other people, ever since.

The world doesn’t need one more book, that’s for sure, but I like to think that mine will be something that I was uniquely sent here to deliver.  Actually, I know it is, on such a deep level that it’s the one certainty I have.   It doesn’t have to be a book, per se, but I know it’s a message that I am supposed to get to the world, and I know that it’s going to happen in creative combination with someone else.  It might or might not be earth-shattering, but it’s something I’m under soul contract to produce, it’s something (maybe the only thing) I came here very specifically to do.

I also know it’s not ready to happen yet because the other party to the contract has to be ready and they have to agree.

Your highest level of excitement is the thing that jazzes you, stays with you throughout a lifetime, calls to you.  It’s something that is undoubtedly meant to be.  You will meet people who give you parts of the puzzle, signposts along the way, or necessary encouragement, and these people are obvious to you when you connect with them, because you feel it in your body.

Where In Your Body Do You Feel People?

Some people I feel in my head (mind/intellect), others I feel in my gut, and very rarely, I will feel one in my heart.

Next time you are around someone, consciously feel where you feel your body activated.  Does your gut churn with “a bad feeling”?  Do you feel them in your heart area (even if it feels like you had to get the pry bar out to let them in)?  Do you feel your brain want to simultaneously shut them out while at the same time going on high alert (that’s a Challenger)?

There are a million ways to read energy but your body will not lie to you.  If you use your body as a barometer, an intuitive tool, it will tell you everything you need to know about someone else.


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  1. I don’t even know how to respond to this post other then you hit it out of the park with this one!
    I am dealing with a very complicated situation right now & this very topic has been on my mind for the past week. You have only affirmed what I have been questioning & what I know to be true-which doesn’t make things less messy but thank you for shining the light!!

    • Nicole, You are welcome. It’s not always worth running it around and around in our heads, is it? Sometimes the answers are simple and we don’t need to delve any deeper.

  2. Mary Stephenson says:

    Hi Julie

    My youngest brother is the one I am so deeply connected to. We get on the phone and talk for hours and the question was….what did we talk about. You know, I am not totally sure as I can sum it up in about three minutes. I may not always agree with him or see eye to eye on stuff, but we never feel sapped when we are done talking, I am usually much more full of energy.

    But other than him….darn, I think I need to get out more, as usually everyone is not anywhere near on my wave length. Either they are draining or lack much excitement. Maybe when the time is right on this journey, I will run into them and I will know who they are.


    • Mary, Yes! I love my friends who bring positive, uplifting energy to the table, and it’s better when we know they feel the same way about us. I hear you on “needing to get out.” Great to see you 🙂

  3. Wonderful! Such a great post about something I am always trying to master.I am so sensitive to others and always trying to hone my skills. Thanks so much for sharing.
    Dawnll recently posted..Documented Life Week 21 Planner PageMy Profile

  4. Loretta Steeves says:


    Thank you for keeping on writing; I agree that is something you are MEANT to do. You just answered three questions I had from yesterday:

    Why did our son and the new girlfriend we met Friday seem so comfortable? – energetic match

    Why are the two friends I spoke to yesterday always so easy to talk to? – complementary soul sisters

    Why am I so wanting to stay in one place and work on the project that has been mine since 2003? – soul contract.

    Thanks again for continuing to share so many helpful insights. (Even on a Tuesday.)

    Ever onward,

  5. 1. I agree with Nicole when she said you hit it out of the park with this one! 2. So much going on in my world I didn’t get to say I enjoyed your last post too. The older I get the more energy I seem to be able to feel, although I’ve always felt bad energy from people (in my gut), just didn’t realize when I was younger what that was, I just knew when I was afraid of someone or got a weird sense about someone. There are several friends that I know are my soul sisters and brothers like you described and I usually feel them in my heart. The one soul that stays with me (you know who) I have always felt in my heart from the start. Even though we are not together, he’s still there, still connected in many many ways. Whether it was to learn from each other (some were very tough/painful emotionally, some were beautiful), or if there’s something more coming later….just when I think I know the answer to that one particular question….BAM! here comes the synchronicities again.

    Also, I know I was meant to run across your blog a couple of years ago, you have definitely helped me in understanding “things” and myself. Much gratitude Ms. Julie 🙂

  6. Julie,

    I loved this challenge to be aware of where we feel people in our bodies. I notice energy acutely in my gut. As an empath, this is a challenge many times to me to “clear” the energy around me because it feels like my stomach is in knots and I may not even know why (usually, I don’t)…but I don’t want to make myself sick with ulcers or something else over it.

    I never gave my sensitivity much thought growing up because I just didn’t have the tools to face it. Now, as I become more aware, the intensity of the energy is often increased (or my awareness of it is)….so I’m learning to ground myself and learning the difference between my stuff and someone else’s.
    Steve Rice recently posted..2:003 AWAKE! Podcast – How Can I Build Confidence to Change My Job?My Profile

    • Steve, I am an empath, too so I do know what you mean about separating out other people’s stuff from our stuff. I guess it is a work in progress! I feel it immediately when I go out in public crowds without doing any work ahead of time – like, uh oh, guess what I forgot!

  7. Hey Julie,

    Man, I never really gave it that much thought. Maybe I should rephrase that. It never occurred to me in this way when I meet people about their energy and how that affects our relationship.

    So my mind is wandering back to people I’ve known throughout my life and I can think about some women that I’ve just automatically bonded with and we became pretty close friends. Like it was just something that drew me to them that made me want to hang around them more. I guess that would make us soul sisters. I love that!

    Now I’m going to be thinking about this for awhile, thank you very much. LOL!!!

    Adrienne recently posted..Should You Blog On A HolidayMy Profile

    • Adrienne, I just love how you come by and let me drag you in to my train of thought 🙂 Thank you for the support and RT and I am thrilled I got you thinking for a while!

  8. Hi Julie,

    This is a great post! I loved the part about those that bring you to your highest level of excitement, because boy, are we bad at confusing that with sexual attraction, especially when it is a person who could generally fall into that category.

    I have one particular person in this category who as you said gives me a “strong dose” of whatever it is in this way. I believe we are meant to produce something together (Youtube videos? TV show? book?). It is as if when we are together we all always unconsciously producing material for this “thing” whatever it is. In fact I frequently say in our conversations “This will be a segue in our show…” or “This will be the theme of our show for this episode…”. This is not a normal thing for me!

    Anyways, I don’t know if he is ready or willing to do this thing or not, but it would be a beautiful thing if we ever did get cracking on it. Together (in my humble opinion) we reach a level of comedic and intellectual brilliance that neither of us achieves on our own. It is a beautiful thing, sometimes I think that beauty would be magnified a million times if we could share it with the world.

    Thanks for sharing your post. Hugs,

    Kara recently posted..We Are Still Here For You – Mediumship ReadingsMy Profile

    • Kara, You know what they say, you don’t get “that feeling” for nothing! I will be first in line when you do your work together. Remember I see you with that new, shiny purple book and a big display (and you in your costume!) but if there’s another party to that action, maybe he was hiding behind the cardboard 🙂

  9. Julie, I had forgotten that. Thanks for reminding me! I’m especially glad I’m in a costume! LOL I do have my own book in mind already, so maybe that’s it, or maybe I’ll just have to get the friend to actually put something on paper with me…

    Thanks friend!

    Kara recently posted..We Are Still Here For You – Mediumship ReadingsMy Profile

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