The Ghost of Boyfriends Past, Injured Dogs, And So On

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Down For The Count

Bronchitis has had me in its grip for a couple of months.  My cough got to the point where my entire office was stopping by, individually, to try to convince me to go to the doctor.  The ladies were all convinced I had walking pneumonia.

I was reasonable – I looked it up.  Then I looked up bronchitis.  One produces yellow gunk from your chest and other doesn’t, so I self-diagnosed that I still had bronchitis.

Finally, my boss came by and nicely pretty much demanded that I go to the Urgent Care, so I spent half the day there and walked away with five prescriptions, only two of which Walgreens filled after an hour’s await, despite me asking upon arrival how busy they were and being assured it would be 15 minutes.

What is it lately?  Every time I ask in advance about a wait, I am reassured and then proceed to wait…for hours and hours, unnecessarily every single time, if only they hadn’t flat out lied.  I am really straightforward  with,”I’ll be happy to come back later,” or,”How busy is the doctor?” or in this case,”Should I drop this by the Walgreens near my house tonight or do you have time to do this now?”  I am sure there’s a lesson in here somewhere.  If you know what it is, please tell me.

The Dog

With the Blood Moon, the Cardinal Grand Cross, and all blogs astrological fairly shouting about what a time of change April would be, I thought I was ready, but I was wrong.

There was a pleasant awards ceremony to christen the month.

It morphed into a chaotic, last-minute request to gather a ton of financial data for our taxes.

Then the dog got hit by a car.  On a Sunday.

This is the middle dog, a 63 pound mix of a hound and a Chow – we think – who I call Mr. Lick (not his real name) and who runs like the wind and who I didn’t even realize I loved until now.

I called the regular vet, who has Sunday hours, and I explained the dog’s leg was injured, he was bleeding, and we think he got hit by a car.  I asked if we should go to the Emergency Vet for trauma but was told to bring him in.  I said to my husband,”I hope we don’t get The Woman,” but sure enough, that’s who was on duty that day.

Was it because I was just getting sick?  Where was my intuition that day?  I didn’t know he’d been hit, I didn’t intuit the best place to take him, and what unfolded next was just a series of unfortunate events.

As we stand today, two weeks later, I can say that The Woman was about as competent as the time the Big Dog had a chicken bone stuck in her throat for days and she couldn’t find it, insisting that could not be what was wrong, in spite of the fact that I told her the chicken carcass had moved from the kitchen to the couch and now the dog couldn’t drink or eat.

She took a thousand x-rays, cost me a fortune, and eventually a few days later I had the dog back and the guy vet did surgery and produced a giant bone.

This time she cost me a fortune, did every conceivable x-ray, and called by lunch to say his right leg was out of the hip socket and she wasn’t strong enough to put it back in.  She said she needed a “big, strong man” to do it.

She really did.

When she called to tell me this, we were half an hour away, standing in the Home Depot parking lot, the exact same parking lot shared by the emergency vet.

Back and forth we went, transporting the traumatized dog.

What really irked me the most was that she had me wait for 20 minutes after I arrived to talk to her, all while the dog is suffering and the emergency vet is waiting for him.  She told me the exact same thing she told me on the phone – nothing new – and all of it was a ploy to get me to tell her,”There, there, you are a wonderful vet and didn’t do anything wrong.”  This was a grown woman, a professional (in theory) and I could see through her plain as day.  Why would she put her need ahead of an injured dog, I ask you?

By the time the second vet called late in the afternoon to say,”I am very sorry but I could not get the bone back in, I tried three times and it kept popping out,” we were into it for $1,800.

The only other choice was surgery, requiring us to keep him – the runner – “quiet” for 8 weeks or the surgery might fail.  I won’t tell you how much the surgery cost.  In for a penny, in for a pound?

For almost two weeks, it all looked good.  Then we called him from the kids’ room and he didn’t come right away.  When I found him he had “the look.”  The I screwed up and we’re in big trouble now look.

Tomorrow we go back and try another surgery – this one will permanently reduce his ability to run, will require intensive therapy, and of course will cost more money.

I’m not worried.  I saw his ability to run on three legs when his fourth was tied up in a sling.  I saw some money come in from out of the blue to help with the costs.

The main thing is that now he has pain in his eyes and I wish that did not have to happen.  I wish I hadn’t contributed to it.  I wish I could have stopped it.  This is two failed attempts to straighten him out and I’ll tell you, I am pretty concerned about the third.

The only thing both vets agreed on was that at the time of the accident he came a millimeter away from severing an artery, but somehow he didn’t.  Whatever did happen to him, he ran all the way home after it happened.  To me, that’s a dog who’s meant to make it, no matter what it looks like now.

I’ve had many pets but it’s only been eight years since I’ve known dogs.  I noticed discussion this week on the topic of whether or not animals have souls.  From where I sit I cannot imagine anyone even needing to ask that question, if they have ever known a dog.

We may joke that Goatie is my spiritual goat because of the lessons he’s taught me, but nothing compares to the complete love of a dog.  When they love you, they love you – and that’s it.

Don’t think that your pets aren’t here in disguise – they are.  They might look like a cat or a dog or a horse but baby, if you have one that’s special to you, you know they are higher up the spiral than we are right now.

 The Ghost of Boyfriends Past

Just as I was sure that between the bronchitis, the medicines, and the upset over the dog, my intuition was out to lunch, one of my old boyfriends came to visit me.

He didn’t knock on the door, though.

He came in the form of a thought.  His name.  I hadn’t thought of him in decades, so this was a surprise visit.

Chris.  Chris.

So I looked him up on Facebook, didn’t find him, and went on with my night.

Chris.  Chris.

OK.  I’ll Google him.

There he was.  He died last week, funeral was yesterday.

We had a good, long visit that night.  I’m not sure why he stopped by.  I was expecting that he’d ask me to deliver a message to his family, but he didn’t.  The article said he “died suddenly at age 47” but he didn’t share any of that with me.  In fact, he didn’t tell me anything.  He was just there, smiling at me, and I told him everything that was going on lately and he just listened.

I don’t usually find that people come see you straight away when they die.  I’ve had people who I considered much closer to me take years to come around.  That makes me wonder, besides knowing him as a kid in this lifetime, how else do I know him?

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  1. Anne McCarroll says:

    Julie , I thought about you today; this morning when the kids woke up to hunt eggs. I wondered how you were-I am glad you posted an update. Hug the dog! I can’t imagine your struggle-but I see a link between the pharm. wait and the vet wait…both not willing or able to fulfill the medical needs asked for.

    I was visited directly after death by my mother and a close friend more recently. I would agree your question points to a link of stronger stuff than just this go round.

    Get well. Treat yourself well! That’s an order!!

  2. I was wondering how you’ve been and was about to send a message when I saw you posted this.

    My heart wrenched reading about your doggy. I am so sorry you’re both going through this. I know that “look” and oh, it hurts. It makes you wish you could take the pain away for them. And that’s when you realize how much you love them. You’re right – there is nothing like the love of a dog.

    I hope May brings some peace and calm – and health – your way.
    Lindsay recently posted..When your intuition fails youMy Profile

    • Thanks Lindsay, me too! He’s only 4, and “all he did” was knock his leg out (no fractures, no broken bones) BUT I just cannot believe how difficult this has been for him. Just when he started to really recover…

  3. So sorry to read about your pooch. I know about the failed vets too. We are going to have to find a new jacket design. I know all about the 4 figure dog. Physical therapy isn’t too hard to do. I got mine in our pool. Gave new meaning to the doggie paddle. You’re a good Mom hang in there, all should be much better after the eclipse at the end of the month. . Sending you and the pooch good thoughts.

  4. It really does sound like you have a dog that is not going to let anything stop him from doing what he wants. Love dogs, who is happier to see you each day than your dog, such loving beings.
    Josh recently posted..How Bloggers Defeat DeathMy Profile

  5. Life is such that at times it’s everything happening at once, mostly seemingly going haywire, or long periods of lull that in themselves can create anxiety too. I wonder if your being ill for a long period affected your intuition. For me it does sometimes; yet other times it seems strongest when I am forced to bedrest and not much else. Some say it’s got a lot to do with spiritual struggle, and I think there’s much validity to that, but sometimes a person is just ill and that’s that. I do hope you are on your way to being strong and back up to above par.

    My heart is aching for “Mr. Lick”. That he is showing outward and obvious signs of discomfort means he really is in pain because normally they choke it up. I’ve always felt closer to most dogs than I do to people.

    If the unfortunate need for vet care comes up again, I would demand another vet! That you had the feeling about it gives clarity there. I wouldn’t let the virtue kindness in giving the benefit of the doubt in a case like this keep you from insisting next time that someone else in that office handle it or perhaps recommend someone else. The furry ones are your family too, after all.

    Between those two rather large issues, I can’t help thinking you have the patience of a saint.

    You ever have days that seem to be going just fine, but maybe you have a brief thought that you ought to ask for a bit of spiritual help? Even something so simple as getting to a doctor appointment. So you ask, and you think it’s all good, but then EVERYTHING goes awry? And then in the midst of it when you might be ready to break down (which you–meaning me–never do) and you think, “WTH? But I thought we were good to go!” And in hindsight it still doesn’t make sense. It’s not like I take any of it for granted or forget to say thanks, either. I wonder if that feeling beforehand is a warning as if to say, “Look out–you’re gonna be on your own on this one”?

    I’m sorry to hear about your old friend. I wonder if it’s different for every soul. Some of them do visit right away and others indeed wait to come around until maybe they’re ready. I don’t think the manner in which they departed has any bearing necessarily, at least not in my experience with them. I crave contact or a message or a feeling from some and never get it, or at least not very strongly, and then others whom I have never solicited or known very well sometimes just drop on by. I will never stop wondering why that is, unless it has something to do with once going back fully to spirit, there’s perhaps no bias or personal ties. Not sure. Never a dull moment in that regard though. I wish it happened a bit more often.

  6. Julie, my heart holds a space of reverence, gratitude and faith that all will resolve itself for the highest good of everyone concerned. Your writing continues to ignite the spark of inspiration in me and soo many others. I know that your wisdom, tenacity and kindness will illuminate your next breakthrough. Thank you for lending me your wisdom in my time of need.

  7. Poor pup, that’s awful that he’s going through it. Hope the next one gets him fixed up and he heals quickly and well. It is a blow to see that look on their face. 5 dogs… just a bit of a sucker am I 🙂
    Sorry to hear your friend passed, how interesting that he was there to listen and catch up.
    Hope you get to feeling better soon, sending you healing thoughts.
    Stacie recently posted..Going along…My Profile

  8. Hi Julie

    Poor doggie and how awful that you have to deal with such incompetence.
    Hope you are feeling better.
    That is interesting that you were visited by an old friend and for him to come so quickly after his death.
    April for changes…I am wondering if that is why things are changing here, since they were sitting on idle for so long. I think this might be a time for some decisions and coming a lot sooner than what I had thought I wanted to make them. But I see there is a need to take some proactive measures for big changes ahead.

    Get well soon and hope your dog gets to feeling better also.

    Mary Stephenson recently posted..Eco Friendly and Save Some MoneyMy Profile


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