It’s About To Get Exciting

Effortless Joy - Share!Share on Google+0Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Email this to someone

Do you remember what it felt like to be in the fourth grade or about 10 years old?

Who did you think you were inside?

What did you think a friend was?

What examples of dependability (or lack thereof) did you have?

Who did you think you would grow up to be?

Could you imagine what your life as an adult would look like?

And did it?

Why?

Yesterday I was listening to a podcast on the current Mercury Retrograde in (mainly) Aquarius.  One of the questions posed was,”What things have been showing up in your life since the shadow period started (about January 20th) that are clues to what your retrograde theme is?”

There were many things, not all of them good, but the pervasive feel I have had is one of excitement.  Things are going to change.  Big surprises.  Big changes.

The other question was,”Have you always felt different, and how do you move through life knowing this?”

Upon reflection, the theme of being different has shown up in interesting ways lately.

I remember when I was an elementary school kid I felt good about what made me different.  My perception was that I was a Teacher’s Pet (antiquated thought, that!).  I was smart.  My family was similar to everyone else’s family.  School work was fun to do, like a puzzle, and nothing made my brain hurt.  There was nothing I couldn’t do.  I had roller skates and a bike and a ball.  I had friends, a group of four of us.  I lived on street where all of the kids and their siblings played together.  My parents had friends and parties and I got to listen in to what all of the adults were saying sometimes (always fascinating).  I visited grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and listened to the family intrigue with interest.  There was lots of discussion and I took it all in like a sponge.  Life was good.

Then there were events that weren’t so good, but they led to something better.  In middle school I got attacked in the hallway by people I didn’t know, but that led to me being moved from public school to private school.  It was a girls’ school and they provided an education and experiences that were superior to my college and graduate school education.  I got exposure, knowledge, and insight into an entirely new world out of the deal and it was fantastic.

All of this time I had people asking me questions.  Academic questions, “Why is one breast bigger than the other one?”  questions – ALL kinds of questions on any topic – and if I look back on it I would say that for some reason people saw me as someone they could tell their secrets to and someone who could be relied on to act as a counselor and someone who would automatically know the answer to their problems or be able to get it.

When I hit high school I started to meet people who were brilliant.  I could not hold a candle to their abilities.  This didn’t bother me because I came from a base where I already knew I was useful to most.  That meant that if I could source the insights from these newfound brains, I could learn something and use it to help everyone else.

And I did.

People never stopped coming to me.

When I started this blog I found a broader audience of people around the world who were seeking help and answers.

Each time I was able to shed light on what was bothering them and the light bulb went off in their head, I imagined that I was sending them off into their world so they could expand their mission (whatever that happened to be) and do good with it.

I was standing by on the sidelines watching them take off.

I knew I was doing my own work because out of all of the people in the world, these particular people were sent to me for a reason, by the universe, and the universe also sent me all of the resources I needed to help them.

Some people asked one simple question and went on their merry way.

Some people hung around for months or years and I got to watch them evolve, stepping in only when they seemed to need me and asked a question.

I don’t really advance my energy unasked, and I don’t suppose I have the answer to everything.  I just suppose that I will get the help I need to help others when and if they come along.

In the last few years I have come to realize that it’s been Spirit that makes these connections and calls me to service.  Most people in my life don’t believe in that, but I have been sent a few supporters who get it and do believe.  Some of them are you.

I had to learn that I am ready, willing and able to simply show who and what I am (or perceive myself to be) on a case by case basis, as needed, and I didn’t go through much of that whole “coming out” process some intuitives do because I cleared who I was with the couple of people who I cared what they thought (my husband, my Dad) and it simply never occurred to me to care what anyone else thought.

I am very “live and let live” and I know not everyone is scheduled to consciously “wake up” and entertain spirituality in any way this lifetime.  It never crossed my mind that I should force my opinions, ideas or beliefs on another soul.  I guess I would have made a bad Jehovah’s Witness because no one is sending me door to door.  I simply write what I write, show up in life at work and within the family and in the community as myself, and if anyone should need a word of advice or an idea, they are pretty much going to have to ask for it to get anything out of me.

But – and this is a big BUT – I never felt particularly connected, either.  I did feel like a bit of an island.  An introvert who becomes very extroverted, excited and chatty on a rare occasion (when a subject of interest comes up).  There are a lot of people who love me but there are plenty more who do not like me at all.   Sometimes I get kind of offended by that, because I don’t force myself on anyone and although I can be kind of annoyingly set in my opinions, I rarely offer them unasked.  Like, never.  I did notice that sometimes someone would come up with something and report it back to me like the recent comment a relative made to my husband:

I don’t like her because she insulted me.

How did she insult you?

I don’t remember what she said, but she was disrespectful.

Well, you haven’t seen her for fifteen years, and I don’t remember anything happening the other day?

No, this was back then and I don’t remember what it was but I remember she said something and I am not forgiving her for it.

Huh.

I don’t remember being rude or disrespectful to this person, and I had almost no contact with them, but either they are remembering a different annoying relative and pinning it on me, or they just felt like they didn’t like me and choose to remember it as something I said.

My intuitive pal posted a meme that said:

Not everyone is going to want, accept or know how to receive your energy.  Make peace with that and keep on.

So when the Mercury Retrograde podcast mentioned being different, my mind went whirling back to being ten and in the fourth grade.

The idea that the time to have our quirky selves fully show up is here, and that not only is it a good thing, it’s part of a Calling, is kind of thrilling.  It reminds me of when I was doing that math back in the fourth grade and all of the puzzle pieces fit, the equation balanced, and I was having a good time doing it, concentrating on the task.

You mean, there was a purpose to all of this scapegoating?  The time is coming (it’s here) and we are being called into action?  This was scheduled by the universe and we are part of it?  Learning to simply be yourself in the world – no easy task – was actually part of a Calling?

Well I got up from my seat and fairly cheered.  At least in my mind, I did.  Suddenly, everything got exciting.

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Comments

  1. Hi Julie

    Never was comfortable or happy as a child. Of course there was an occasion when things went well. If be true that I picked this family to be in, not sure what the suffering was all about other than it taught me to be more compassionate.

    My life did not turn out anything I had envisioned at 10, 16 or even 30. Even so I think that now I am retired it seems like I was never really destined for a simple comfortable life.

    Once I can clear up my mild or sometimes not so mild health issues, things will be moving forward. Got really sick a week ago and have since started cleaning up my diet. That has brought me to a new idea. I see things now going in the correct direction. Hopefully the “year of the horse” is a good sign for the future. I feel like I have so much more important business to do and good health will be necessary.

    Perhaps being drawn to certain things in life is what we are supposed to do in order to fulfill the tasks we promised to do….just wish I could remember what it was! I keep seeing chapters closing in my life as I move on to the next. Things are never quite falling apart, we keep moving forward when it could so easily go the other way. Maybe this is greater than me that is helping out so I can keep on the correct path.

    Mary
    Mary Stephenson recently posted..The HeartbreakMy Profile

  2. As usual Julie, your observations or lessons always seem to fall inline with whatever I’m chewing on at the time or feeling overly introspective about thus making myself insecure. Your words often & perhaps unknowingly offer up acknowledgement & encouragement of my current situations on a weekly or monthly basis. The past few weeks discussions have arose about the very nature of who I am as a being vs. the perception of who I am. I am often perceived as “an exception to the rule” & it’s been bugging me. I don’t like labels & I certainly don’t like that one either. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with being me because it’s not the norm. Though my hubby adores me, the fact that he is one that has that opinion bothers me. Just last night, out with another couple for dinner it was remarked on several occasions how goofy or silly I was that evening. More then usual apparently. Okay, so it’s no secret I am goofy & it makes me insecure that I am that way…so do you have to point it out?? And multiple times in the same evening?? I was just being in the moment & being myself. I don’t know the point of showing me these things lately & I don’t pretend to know what they mean but none the less…Thank you for your blog. I know the answer is there somewhere. ; )

    • The answer is…how do you FEEL when the same thing gets brought up again and again? You’ve acknowledged that, and you don’t care for it. It bothers you. So, how might you change your mind about it? How might being yourself in all your glory be a gift to the world and something to celebrate?

      Remember other people are our mirrors and no one can “make you feel” anything…it’s you bringing up the same things to yourself, over and over and over again. Now that it has your attention, what are you going to do with it?

      This is something to heal and then something to bring out into the world in a big way.

      So for instance, suppose I am a crabby person but I really need a laugh. If I ran into you, might you say or do something that made me laugh and change my whole outlook in the moment? How might I pass that on to others as I went about my day? Everything we are and do has a ripple effect. You don’t need me to tell you that what comes out as “I was just being in the moment and being myself” has to be a natural consequence of who you are at core (an expression of you at the soul level, in some aspect)…so just suppose for a moment that was exactly as you were intended to be…why might that be and what could you do with it?

      • Julie,
        Thanks for taking the time to read my response and for replying to it. You are right, no one can make me feel anything, I admit I don’t accept myself as I am 100%. I reveal in the fact that “I am made up entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions” but having said that sometimes it would just be easier if I fit in or felt like I did. But “easy” wasn’t part of the plan I wrote for myself apparently. So to answer your question, the 1st thing I will learn to do is accept that part of myself that makes me feel insecure about myself wholeheartedly. Secondly, to answer the last set of questions you posed, I suppose that when I’m “being in the moment & being myself” it’s to show others something about themselves & to mirror that for them. Whether that be self acceptance, to lighten up or not take themselves so seriously. And I suppose I secretly wished, until now, was that what others perceive about how I live my life or how I am as being an “exception to the rule” would really be more widely accepted as a “norm”. Why shouldn’t we change our perceptions or question them? I just want to see people elevate to a higher level of collective consciousness…

  3. This is pretty timely! I’ve been lamenting – mostly on Twitter – about being/feeling different. It’s not that I grew up feeling or even being different – I consider myself pretty normative. I was just ostracized growing up so I never really had friends or anyone to talk to. In high school and college, when people are making life-long friends, and exploring themselves, I tried REALLY hard to make friends. I dedicated my freshmen year to socializing and doing shit, and… nothing came of it. When I transferred with the hopes of dating being a higher priority – since I hadn’t been in a relationship yet – with the hope of still making friends – nothing. In fact, the only friend I made in college I got because she had a falling out with her core group of friends so we ended up hanging out more (but, even then, I don’t think that by any means we were BFFs or anything).

    Now, almost 26 (b-day on the 15th) I still haven’t dated and still don’t have any friends who I didn’t force (ie: the few people I’m connected to became that way because I went up to them first, and called them first, and all that. They didn’t approach me).

    So, I don’t think there’s anything different about me, and if I had managed to make huge swaths of friends growing up, I’m sure I’d be a much different person than I am now. My room mates asked me how I deal with being alone/spending so much time by/with myself and I tell them because I don’t have any friends I HAVE to do everything by myself or else I wouldn’t do anything.

    This also comes on the heels of a co-worker yelling at me, and me constantly feeling bullied and ostracized at work because I’m not really like the other people who work there (in terms of personality – I’m more quiet, self-contained and have non-mainstream interests while many of my co-workers are loud, bossy, neurotic, gossip-y, social, etc). And how alienating it is to be at work and feel like an outcast – again!

    So, I don’t think I’m really that different, but apparently other people do and I’ve been getting rejected for reasons I don’t understand my whole life! It’s weird and it sucks. :/
    Tatiana recently posted..Five Lessons Learned from 8 Months of EntrepreneurshipMy Profile

    • Tatiana, Take a look at where you were welcomed and accepted. Don’t say,”Nowhere!” because that’s not true. For instance, on your blog?

    • Tatiana, please don’t hear this as condescending when I say you’re young and you have so much ahead of you. I have been where you are. I was there for the majority of my life. It is only in the last few years that I feel I am finally coming out of a lifelong cocoon and finding my niches in life. All through my childhood, I knew I was different; I didn’t need the rest of the world to remind me, but they took it upon themselves to tell me anyway, and not too kindly. I went around wondering what was wrong with me and it wasn’t until the last few years I realized that nothing really was–I was simply a puzzle piece thrown into the wrong box.
      Born in a small town and raised in various other ones, the world to which I was exposed was small too, as was the mentality of those I shared it with. Voicing lofty goals, thoughts, and dreams, when I was brave enough to come out of my protective shell, were shot down and ridiculed. My natural inclination was to be kind and compassionate, but I was so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing that most of the time I said or did nothing. It was hard to stifle my nature, but I did. Realizing years later that I had lived most of my life in a self-imposed prison not only saddened me, it made me mad–I thought of all I had missed out on because I let “them” get to me.
      Social media and the internet certainly have their pros and cons. But I have to say, I am happy to be living in this era, because finally, I have found my kindred–and they are all over the globe. People that understand my quirky sense of humor, who appreciate my encouragement and compassion, and return the favor many times over–in kind. I’m a textbook introvert, so most of my social endeavors are online. It’s just easier. I found that the real authentic me comes through more this way than in person, and in turn, it makes it easier when those occasions present themselves. I’ve had practice with it so I can engage in conversations face-to-face much easier. Use social media to your advantage. I found when looking past oppressive stereotypes that I greatly enjoy my friendships with people I may never otherwise have gotten to know.
      Resurrecting goals and dreams from my childhood, I realized they were still alive and well, but now I have more belief in them and the drive to accomplish them, to bring them into my reality, than ever before. The determination may come more from age, but I digress…
      Please don’t spend any more time putting what makes you truly happy on hold. Those things matter–as does everything that you do and everything that you are. Perhaps, to take advantage of this Mercury Retrograde period, take some time to really think about and consider who you are, what you are about, what YOU WANT to do, and what makes YOU happy. Others are out there and if you keep being you, authentically, you will find them and they will find you. It may involve a career change or a change in residence to someplace new, but keep an open mind about it and look at it as an adventure instead of something big to dread.
      Julie has brought up an obvious point about your blog. If I may be candid here, it seems like your post here is a different person than the one who wrote the terrific article link! But again, I understand that, too.
      Tatiana, you’re a great writer and your writer’s voice flows so naturally and comfortably. Keep doing that and also open up more about the things you are interested in and love. Make note of the people that are reading and responding, and get to know those readers. Your kindred are out there, and they are looking for you, too. 🙂

  4. Wish I had seen this a long time ago…..Not everyone is going to want, accept or know how to receive your energy. Make peace with that and keep on.

    A big Ping. Glad you posted it. I can so relate to this post.

    Signed,
    Your goat cousin:)

  5. Julie! Thank you as always for straight talking and good sense! Unlike you I didn’t really know who I was until my late thirties … I am less well-liked now, but feel all the better for daring to risk a little disapproval! Much love, Catriona xx

  6. Anne mccarroll says:

    Definitely exciting times! I am excited to see people shed those icky layers of ‘maybe I won’t ____’
    and I remember I was like that-it was like walking around with a wool sweater pulled up on my head. I am coming out of that in a big way-and feel more like myself than ever; and I’m glad you’re excited, Julie-so many people are too cautionary or too afraid! Go girl! Lets all go full steam ahead! (Should be interesting at work…)

    • Anne, LOL at work – I am always me there, no matter what! I might however be a bit different than all of you imagine, because I am a total left-brained person and can happily spend all day doing spreadsheets and putting together insurance proposals and arguing with people over quotes (believe it or not). Connecting the different parts of me and having them all show up (all of the time) in a complete package has been rather humorous at times 🙂

  7. Hi Julie,
    I love you as you are and I believe Spirit orchestrated it 😉 Thank you for sharing your story and for speaking to our continuing on the journey without everyone’s blessing. We have our own (hopefully!) and those guides and angels for sure.
    Hugs and love,
    Robin
    Robin Hallett recently posted..Little birdies need love too: understanding why we numbMy Profile

    • Robin, Thanks for sharing the post and stopping by to comment. I really had to think about this before I wrote it!: “It’s more fun when people get you and enjoy your company.” I so do not walk around thinking that, but in the end it’s true. Mainly I do not care one iota – take me or leave me, it’s all fine by me 🙂

  8. Hi Julie,
    Great article. After reading everyone’s responses to this….and I’m sure more people will be adding their comments…..I feel like that I am a mix of all these people. I guess they are my mirror. But in general I learned that this is who I am meant to be and to do my best with it. Sometimes I feel like, “why the heck did I choose these things for my contract again? Really, why? What the heck was I thinking up there?” Guess I thought I would be invincible. So far I am that wounded healer and true warrior! Love to all, you can get through anything.

    • Monica, It’s interesting how many people read this as sad when I was totally excited about it. Who knows why we choose what we do? Maybe we forget what it’s like down here?? A little selective amnesia in reverse? This must be a meeting place for the wounded healer archetype?!

  9. How do I love thee, and your writing? This was so timely for me.

    As I reflect on what has been going on for me since the 20th, like you I’m feeling this: a big change. I’ve already gone through a couple in the past few weeks but I feel another big one coming on.

    By the way we had similar childhoods, or so it seems, based on what you’ve written. Apart from me losing my dad when I was 6…the rest is quite similar.
    Lindsay recently posted..Planning your next life: the good, the bad and the painfulMy Profile

    • Lindsay, Oh I know you are going through just a TON of changes lately with the transition! Reading your side schtik has brought back a ton of memories and it’s funny, because the things you’re enjoying I absolutely HATED and vice-versa. Just goes to show that we’re all different in our similarities 🙂

  10. Lol, you remind me so much of myself in a lot of ways here, but I suppose that’s because we’re the same personality type. I’ve always been quite happy being different too. Normal just seems boring to me.

    How often do these retrograde thingies happen, anyway? I don’t think I could possibly keep track. 🙂
    Jennifer Lynne Flint recently posted..On the BallMy Profile

  11. So much of my life I was being molded into someone who I wasn’t, Julie. And then a big life changing kind of event that shook me out of slumber and woke me up!! Before i was playing by society’s rules, embracing my sameness and trying to fit in. From work and career to personal life. If everyone else is doing that, it must be right.

    Then the awakening happened where I realized no one really knows what they are doing and most people are not living their truth. They are going along with the mindlessness of it all. Everyone is following a PipePiper that no one dares question. We are living un-authentic lives for the most part.

    So after life shook me up, now I doggedly follow my spirit and intuition and embrace more of who I am. When society tells me what to do now, I laugh. When I see people doing things that don’t make any sense but they’re simply doing it because it’s expected of them, I am grateful that I am no longer living in the zombie state.

    Wonderful reflections and read on how you came to see how your entire life and past made you into who you are today. That is indeed something to get excited about!!

    • Hi Vishnu, I don’t know why we all have to go through a big, life upending event to stop walking around like zombies, but thankfully that seems to be behind us and it’s onward and upward from here. It’s interesting how many of us get followers and then we have to say,”Don’t follow me, I am just here to wake you up to you!” I notice that response over and over again and it is heartening to me.

  12. “Learning to simply be yourself in the world – no easy task” and yet you would think it would be simple. It is a liberating thought.
    What an interesting life you’ve led up to now Julie!

    I can’t say I feel different. I’ve been so busy this year so far cleaning up messes (like the hacking) and solving problems that I’m only now resting a bit (In time for Valentines Day <3 But I like how you say things are about to get exciting. I think 😮
    Lori
    Lori Gosselin recently posted..Technology: Are We Too Connected?My Profile

    • Lori, Oh, totally exciting! In a good way 🙂 I feel like it is simple – it might not be easy, it make take years or decades or a lifetime to get there. When it comes online though it is TOTALLY liberating.

  13. Hey Julie,

    I had to chuckle because I was reading about you listening to the podcast about Mercury retrograde and if you were aware of any clues to what your retrograde theme is? That in itself was so over my head I didn’t know what you were even talking about. Of course why would I right!

    Overall Julie I would say you’ve definitely got your life together. I know how it feels to not have everyone like you and when you ask them why they couldn’t tell you if their life depended on it. I honestly believe like you, that they have be either mixed up with someone else or they made a choice they didn’t want to like me and that’s it. I learned a lot time ago though that it’s their loss and I’m definitely not losing any sleep over it.

    The way you are and live your life I know that only good things are coming your way. There will always be bumps in the road to keep us on the right path but overall it will all work itself out.

    Thanks for sharing Julie and Happy Valentine’s Day!

    ~Adrienne
    Adrienne recently posted..How To Make Your Blog UnforgettableMy Profile

    • Adrienne, You are so right and it is funny, isn’t it, that I assume my readers will know what the heck I am talking about when I start in on astrological events! Thanks for sticking with it anyway 🙂

      I do have so many friends who don’t see things the way I do (if you asked them about a “sign” they would think you meant a billboard, not a sign from the universe, God, or Spirit) but they humor me anyway and at least pretend they aren’t laughing at me. Probably the same way I smile when they talk about things the way they see them and I just have to consider it from their point of view. I love the uniqueness.

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