A Wonderful Year?

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What do you really feel about the year you just had?

Tim Brownson at A Daring Adventure posted a question the other day, “What is the ONE problem that if you overcame it before the end of 2103 would have you thinking it’s been an awesome year?”

First I laughed, because that little typo made me realize that by 2103 I will be dust and long gone!

But thinking about 2013, I had to answer him, “I’m already there. Tough year, but full of gratitude and miracles.”

Can you really answer with anything else?  EVERY year is awesome – you are here, you did things, you moved forward even as you (sometimes) moved backward, you grew, you learned, you maybe embarrassed yourself a few times.  If there wasn’t a reason for it, you wouldn’t still be here!

This year I…

Lost my house.  Hooray!  After three years of being terrified about HOW I would lose it, WHEN I would lose it, and that I was losing our life savings in the process,  it finally was sold.  I didn’t have to show it anymore.  I didn’t have to worry about changing school districts.  It was done and decided and I could take the enormous emotional and mental energy behind the whole thing, set it aside, and be done with it.

Had one of my children taken from the “gifted” program and go into a “special” program at a new school.  Doesn’t sound good, does it?  But…the meetings, the cost of the Advocate, the energy and effort and decision-making and investigation behind the whole thing…behind me.  And as it turns out, I didn’t need to be worried about losing the house in the great school district because he got moved to a different school anyway!  Yes, it means I drive two kids to two different schools every day that are very far apart, and yes it is a giant pain in the ass, and yes I sometimes wonder why they didn’t catch this two years earlier.  But you know what?  This kid, this prodigy with an IQ higher than me and the next guy put together, who has some learning disabilities to work through…he is doing well.  Not only that, but he spontaneously shared with me the other day that when asked at school what was the best present he ever got, he said,”My new school, because I love my new teacher.”  He is flourishing.

Went back to work in insurance. Right at the moment when I lost the house because I lost my job and couldn’t get another one for three years…on the same week that I had the final call with the lawyer to settle the sale of the house, I got to tell her,”And guess what else happened this week?!  I finally got a job!”  She and I had a good laugh.

You could look at those things and think,”What a shit year!” or you could look at those things and think,”Finally, major problems that all needed to be resolved are now over, and all of that energy can be put to better use.”

The fact is, you WILL have times when you’re put into stasis, when the world will stop when you tell it you want to get off, when you are put into a spiritual holding pattern.  Don’t get too cozy there though, because you will eventually get tilted off the merry-go-round and sent flying back into the belly of the beast, so best not to eat dirt but instead, fly.

Honesty and Truth?

Barring those moments when it’s best to keep your mouth shut, how often are you straight up honest?

Most people aren’t.

They can’t be bothered, or they are afraid of the fallout, or they just don’t care about you enough to say what they really feel.  I have always considered that a major disservice, and it often leads to gossip and talking behind people’s backs when you don’t have the guts to tell them to their face but somehow it is okay to share your true feelings with someone else?  That is something that, if you find yourself on the receiving end of such a conversation, you should think about it hard before you decide to continue.

I remember years ago I had a Soul Realignment reading done and it said I was “100% aligned with Divine Truth.”  That always makes me laugh because yes I did get a giant dose of honesty and not so much tact.  I admire people who can truly lovingly deliver not so happy messages to others.  There have been many times in my life when I realized I had just been insulted but I couldn’t even get miffed about it because it was a truth I needed to hear and absorb, delivered in this beautifully wrapped package of loving kindness.  That is a skill we should all be blessed with.

I only bring the issue of truth up because it feels like constantly in the last few weeks someone has been telling me some version of,”I love your honesty.”  That’s Code for,”I can’t believe you just said (or admitted) that.”  But…why not?

I’ve seen several bloggers come out over the last week and fully admit that they had been hiding some crucial part of themselves for fear that their audience would shun them (or not buy so much, or not consult with them) if they only knew the truth.

That is foolishness, right there.  It’s great that they finally said whatever they needed to say, I guess, but why wait so long?

You don’t have to share all (or any) of your secrets with the world, but you shouldn’t hold in secrets either.  If it’s part of who you are and if you feel like you are shamefully hiding something for fear of condemnation, then you do not have the right audience or you are simply evidencing that you knew something deep in your soul and found it shameful, which is sad. The cure for gut-clenching fear is always to turn and face it, let it out.  Admitting things (to yourself, to others if need be, but mainly to yourself) will set you free.  Who doesn’t want to be free from what’s binding them up?

If you admit something and then follow it up with,”…and this is why you should (still) buy from me!” – that just rings so false and sad.   If you want to sell something, you know what works?  Your genuine skills and self.  When you hide things, when you have regular fear in your gut, it shows…people, no matter how kind, instinctively are turned off by that.  On the other hand, if you admit that you are having a problem, most of the time people offer…help.

I don’t mind admitting what some people might view as faults or problems.  I won’t say you have to “think positive” or “guard your thoughts because they become reality.”  What I will suggest is that forcing myself to look at everything in a bright light by insisting that I change my internal thoughts and voice DID ultimately help me to turn a corner from mostly negative to reboundingly positive…and that just makes me a happier person…inside, and to be around.

When you think back over this year, and inevitably you will be asked to do so about 1,000 times in the next couple of months, try spinning it in a positive light.  What did you learn from it?  Why do you think it was put in your life?  Even if it was something that didn’t show up…why not?  Did something better or at least different come in its place?  Or did you just make space for it to come later on?

There is no problem with not being “there” yet, in not having figured everything out yet, in not having produced “it” so far…after all, you’re still here and you still will be while you have things to do.  No shame in that.  It gives us all something to look forward to.

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. I am truly happy for you, Julie! What relief you must feel that these things that dragged on for a while have finally resolved.
    I look back at 2013 with mixed feelings, as I’m sure everyone does. I accomplished something huge in 2012 (well huge for me anyway) and I expected to do something even greater this year. In hindsight, I can’t really say I didn’t; it all just came about differently, more incrementally. It has been an expansion of last year’s event and while I’m not yet at the goal, Wow… I’ve sure collected some sweet, gorgeous flowers along the journey.

  2. Congratulations!

  3. Well, I’d say this has been a pretty interesting year for us both, but I’m quite happy about mine as well. I do think it’s less important what happens around us, as things always will, but rather how we react and what we learn about ourselves. Can’t say as I have any big secrets to let out at the moment, but if I do, you’ll be the first to know. 🙂
    Jennifer Lynne Flint recently posted..A Modern Major GeneralMy Profile

  4. Hi Julie

    I think sometimes we fight changes and it seems unfair when we have planned our lives out and things get thrown in the mix which we never asked for.

    You seem to have lifted a weight off of your shoulders and it has uncomplicated your life.

    Pride and what we perceive as necessity keeps us hanging on to what we should probably surrender to. Had to do that a few times in my life. Now I am just in a holding pattern, hoping that nothing upsets the apple cart and then things will straighten out if given enough time.

    Having faith that the right circumstances transpire for the best results.

    Good luck with all your new changes.

    Mary
    Mary Stephenson recently posted..Time Slips Away And What Have We Done?My Profile

    • Mary, I have decided never to get stuck on plans ever again, just no use in it apparently 🙂 All of this happened early in the year, so I am very used to it by now, but who knows what might be around the next corner. It seems that looking forward to the new and unexpected and knowing that, no matter what, the universe has your back, has been the key to moving things right along. Thanks for the good luck 🙂

  5. Julie, I so appreciated reading your end of the year review. Your centeredness during some very challenging times reminded me of Michael Singer writing a book full of wisdom and gratitude during the time he was under federal investigation! (Charges were dropped because he really didn’t do anything wrong, but six years of stress and losing everything.) If we can go through challenges and still be appreciative of our blessings, then we are blessed indeed.

    Speaking of blessings, as you know, I’ve stopped blogging. I’m taking this time at the end of the year to visit folks who have had a big impact on me, to say thank you. You are one of my favorite bloggers. Your blog is full of humor and wisdom and divine honesty (!) and goats! So thank you. Wishing you all the best, Galen
    Galen Pearl recently posted..It Is EnoughMy Profile

    • Hi Galen, I just love your work and I will so miss seeing your writing on a regular basis. I am very excited to see where this next phase brings you! Please stop by when you can 🙂

  6. “What is the ONE problem that if you overcame it before the end of 2013 would have you thinking it’s been an awesome year?”

    Seriously? Whose life has just one problem they’re working on? I suppose if you’re trying to quite smoking or get sober, overcoming those problems would make it an awesome year. But my life is more complex and I don’t look at things in this way.

    2013 started with me sitting in my mother’s house, dealing with her body, the funeral home, and hurriedly finding homes for her 2 cats. The months that followed were Mom’s funeral and then emptying and selling my childhood home. Three months later I broke a foot and spend the entire summer and beginning of the fall sitting on my butt with my foot elevated. Since then I’ve been doing physical therapy and acupuncture, working on getting strength and flexibility back.

    The only thing that has kept me sane, has been having information from the divine realm (mostly by psychic readings) to learn the higher meaning of things. As I recoup from my injury, I have information that big changes are afoot (pun intended), and they will evolve over the next year or two. So, I am doing my thing day to day, working on my personal healing (physical and otherwise), and patiently waiting for the changes to come.
    Sue recently posted..Because of My Son: Happy Birthday Little ManMy Profile

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