Archives for December 2013

The Answer Is Because It Doesn’t Belong There!

On Christmas, the goat broke the laptop.

TigerDirect and $180 later, amazingly I got it back with a new hard drive and operating system.

I just had a conversation with my husband along the lines of him trying to justify every creature that he has brought into this house, and me reminding him of the excuse he used each time.

There’s Goatie, who has broken every electronic in the house and been caught standing in the living room more often than I can count.  There’s Magic (the mastiff), Nader (the 60 pound mutt) and Sophie (the Jack Russell).  There’s Dakota (the 30 pound Maine Coone cat) and Lily (the tabby).  There are two turtles with their own pond, worms with their own houses, and we won’t discuss the bot fly situation from breeding maggots (who also have their own house).

“I will never understand how we ended up with a goat, not to mention everyone else,” I said.

“But didn’t they all work out great?” he wanted to know.

“NO!  They did not all work out great!”

Sure, he tried to blame me for leaving the laptop and “all that stuff” on the porch table when it broke, but  I had to remind him that I take it in with me every single time I leave the table, even if I am going to be gone for one minute.  I was off making him something to eat and I told him to watch the goat while I was gone.  Goatie started chewing on the electrical wires on the other side of the table, so naturally my husband jumped up and yelled at him at top volume which resulted in the goat running for it, taking all the wires and my laptop with him.  BOOM! No hard drive, no operating system.

It’s funny that so many people have been asking,”What’s the lesson in this?” about their own problems.  Generally, that’s a good way to go.  Question things, consider what is being shown to you.

There are times when the answer is simply,”Because it doesn’t belong there!”

Witness: a goat on a patio where people actively live with all of their breakable stuff.

We got into a discussion around the animals, every single one of which was brought in by my husband, except one of the cats which was brought in by my Dad and one turtle which was brought in by an old neighbor because he knew we were suckers and had a turtle already.

“We got Sophie because you told me that Magic was on the way, and since I never had a dog I should practice before a mastiff got here.”

“Uh huh.”

“And then we got Nader because you said every young boy should have a dog, and Luke was finally a toddler.”

You can see where this is going.  Even my husband, who will insist everything the animals did was all my fault (“You left out the laptop!” “Well you were supposed to be watching it!”) had to admit he is the culprit.  And of course, I made my bed when I married him…and there you go.

There’s tolerable “wrong” (you don’t like it but you agree to live with it) and there is blind stupidity.

The Wisdom In Your Wisdom Tooth?

Why would someone ask an intuitive for the “mind/body connection” of an impacted wisdom tooth that is causing a litany of physical ailments over a long period of time? The tooth would pop through her gums at that time of the month and then recede…until the next month.  She was having headaches, gum aches, and a list of ten other problems from this one tooth.

“What does it mean emotionally?” she wanted to know.  “What is this tooth trying to tell me?”

The intuitive wrote her a very long, lovingly thought out response a la Louise Hay as to what it being on the right side of her body meant, and how the popping through and receding had to do with her being unable to speak her truth, and so on.

That’s not what it means.

It means that she does not have enough common sense to visit a dentist and have it removed.

That’s what it means.

Why Did He Leave The House?

After twenty-some years of marriage and a couple of grown children, a man came home unexpectedly to find his wife in their bed with another woman.  It turns out that the affair was three years long.  So, he left.

I just want to know, why did he leave the house?  When you leave it, you lose it.  Everyone knows you are supposed to stay put, especially when you are the wronged party.

He wanted to be angry.  He wanted there to be another man, so he would have someone to direct the blame toward.  But, there was just another woman.

Sometimes you just don’t have the requisite parts.

Sometimes, you just don’t belong there.

The Free Spirit Guide Reader

Someone asked my intuitive friend for the solution to why intuitive readers charge so much money to do their work.  He said, if only he could get the (free) answer to how to connect with his spirit guides, he would pledge to forever spend all of his time giving free readings, for the rest of his life.  But, before he would take free counsel he wanted assurance that the teacher was a valid intuitive, so he’d need to be told what his middle name was.

Honestly, if his spirit guides weren’t banging their heads on the table, I don’t know what they were doing.

That’s a small joke – spirit guides don’t have heads.

The point is, he has no idea what he is asking for.  This is a classic case of,”Be careful what you wish for!”  Validation does not come through things that could be searched on the internet.  Guides don’t give mundane answers like middle names (well they might, but why should they?)  If he got his wish, he’d be expending his energy for the rest of his life into exhaustion and poverty, and he’d give it up in a week.

If he really was meant to connect, if he was meant to be an intuitive reader, he would not be expressing the kind of frustration and dead end that he was experiencing.  Period.  Some things just aren’t for you.

When You Don’t Belong

Usually I keep my mouth shut, but sometimes I feel I have got to say something before my head splits open from banging it on the table (at least mentally).

My husband, though he will take in any stray or intentionally just acquire or try to rehabilitate animals, apparently gets it honestly – he is a rescuer.  He collects people, too.  He has no medical background but he naturally has the instinct and he can patch himself or anyone else up from appalling and gruesome injuries.  He is a carpenter by trade but he has one of those rare “spatially oriented” minds that can solve pretty much any mechanical or construction-related problem that you throw at him.  He does the architectural and engineering drawings which the architect and the engineer have to be paid to stamp – but that’s all they have to do.

If you know me by now, you know I can’t do any of those things.  I am fully prepared with the intuitive answer to just about any human emotional problem, I can bind you a good insurance policy, and I can hit you with the honest truth a bit too forcefully from time to time, having skipped over the Tactful Gene.  I can pick out other people’s grammatical errors at 1,000 paces (though not always my own).  I will call for the pizza, pay all the bills, and arrange for every other thing in the house and family arena that does not involve repair or excessive manual labor.

I don’t have to – because whatever he does, is done.  No duplication is necessary.  We have complimentary skills and complimentary blind spots – but we don’t always listen to each other (“I said, don’t bring home any goats!”) and that can and does get us into some mighty deep hot water from time to time.

My husband is constantly telling me to look at what’s right in front of me and I am always asking him to open his mind.

But sometimes the best thing you can do is to look for the common sense solution that’s staring you right in the face.

We can talk about wisdom teeth and what they mean all year long, or in twenty minutes we can have a professional yank the painful tooth right out.

As we walk into a new year it would be a mighty good idea to ask ourselves what belongs and what does not.