I wondered for a moment how I was going to keep up A Clear Sign since I just returned to work at a full-time day job.
I wondered how the groceries would get bought on time, how the house would clean itself, what the cats, dogs and goat would do without me all day, if my husband would remember to pick up the kids, who would make dinner every night, and if anyone would take my one son to his myriad of afternoon appointments.
At the end of the month, who would pay the company bills? The personal bills? What would happen to all the “stuff” of life that always seemed to require my endless time on the phone?
Last time I worked full-time I had an infant and a toddler. I was sixty-three miles from home. My personal life very clearly interfered with my work life.
This time I knew that everything that happened at the office had to relate to the office. There would be no personal calls, no perusing the internet, no blog hopping, no Facebook time, no writing, no intuitive readings, no calls with my Psychic Sparks students.
Everywhere there was silence.
I did my first week. I got a paycheck.
I only spoke to my husband when I checked in with him at lunch, or via text if he was unsure about the directions to get the kids.
All I had to do all day was…work.
I wandered the office, because you know I had to meet everyone and see what I was dealing with. I am not saying I am a naturally good judge of character, because historically I haven’t been when it comes to the office.
This time though I had my intuition with me, and I just wanted to see how different the experience might be.
I’ve Been Here Before?
Turns out, I am a morning person (like the 4 or 5am variety) and the lights don’t get turned on there until 9 and really 10. I was expecting a cubicle but I got an office. The second I wandered into the bathroom I was practically bowled over by a sense of deja vu.
It was the floors. Mexican tile. The bumpy kind, like I had in my first house.
Then I noticed the windows. They are that dark brown aluminum which is standard older Florida.
One of my coworkers showed me where the coffee cups were and the kitchen looks like it should be in a house, not an office.
Hanging on the wall was a Milton Avery print. He is a fairly obscure American painter. My favorite. In fact there is amazingly eclectic art throughout the building, from racehorses to red couches to we-don’t-really-know-what-it-is.
That’s when I realized I had been here before. Not literally. Well, that, too – I had actually interviewed with the same two men in this same building a number of years ago. What I had never seen was the interior I just described. Yet I had seen it – last year, when I was asking my guides to show me a picture of where I was moving.
I meant my house. Not my office. Turns out we stayed in this house, against odds, and I suppose they knew that. The clairvoyant image I had was of a kitchen with bumpy Mexican tile floors, and when I looked up, there was a dark brown aluminum window with kind of an odd, high pattern, two stories high. This is a two-story office building.
The more I looked at the artwork, the more I knew the place was prepared for me, or where I was meant to be.
That sounds funny, I know. How often do you walk into a place that has quirks that are to your specific obscure taste, though?
The people are not your standard set of coworkers. They are not the usual suspects of the lost, the salesmen, the corporate head, the HR yes-people. They are none of those things.
Keeping Yourself In Mind
I have always had trouble with simple things. Ask me to produce an auto ID card at 4:58 and I freak out. Anyone else would just push a button. Not me – something always goes wrong somehow.
Ask me to negotiate a billion dollar property portfolio. Trouble with your loss projections? Need someone who can do manuscript wording with London? I am your woman.
I’m not sure if that makes me smart or an idiot, because it’s all one-sided with me. In this job, I have to be able to do all of those things and everything in between, because there aren’t assistants and assistants to the assistants here. I can’t just make the deal and hand instructions to the staff to input it. I’ll figure it out eventually. Hopefully.
So I’m still me, quirks, competencies, incompetencies and all…but I didn’t feel like myself. The three years I spent immersed in spirituality and quiet really did profoundly change me, but I didn’t realize it until I was back in the day-to-day work groove. I just don’t see the tasks and interactions the same way anymore.
On The Home Front With The Goat
In the interim, all was quiet at home, as well.
One day I got home before everyone else and I didn’t know what to do with myself. Silence, at the wrong time of day for it.
God love Mercury Retrograde. Not only did my car break down spectacularly week before last, but this week the “” key on my husband’s keyboard broke. You can’t see what key that is because I am using my husband’s laptop.
I’m using my husband’s laptop because my laptop completely died.
Naturally, I suspect Goatie, because he had just been chewing his way through all the cords, and because he’s usually the cause of most everything. I ordered a new adapter and charger because I am hoping against hope that’s all that’s wrong with it. It took 52 years to find and order a new adapter, because my husband’s laptop has Windows 8 and is not a touch screen, and it is the most non-intuitive thing I have ever used. It makes zero sense.
Those of you who access your blogs through a reader will know that Google Reader closed shop. My Feedly isn’t working right, and so I felt really disconnected from the blogs, the internet and the world in general.
Nothing Is The Same Anymore? Must Have Been Time For A Change
The place where I work is in an industrial area with no immediate restaurants and there aren’t many people in the actual workplace, so everything has just been oddly quiet.
As far as work goes, I have never felt this certain that I was sent somewhere for a reason. At this stage I have no sense of what that may be. I doubt very much it’s work related – it has to be people related. I just know I wouldn’t have been seeing images of the place in my head last year if I weren’t meant to be here for something.
The strangest part is trying to remember how I want to be in the world and not to be deceived by your standard everyday work aggravations. I have to actively remember the spiritual aspect and I cannot afford to lose myself back to work monkey status.
It’s more integrated than I had expected.
It’s amazing how people reveal themselves to me in odd ways – just because now I have my intuition turned on.
Oh and if the ghosts could stop roaming the halls, that would be cool, too.