Archives for July 2013

The Wounded Healer And A Gold Star Like A Sneetch

Someone at my work said I had a bubbly nature.

It was all I could do to contain myself from bursting out laughing.

Now I want someone to put a gold star on my forehead (or belly, like a Sneetch) because we all know that most people would say I am a bit dark.

There are a million places you can go to read inspirational articles about how you should be kind and loving and everything will be wonderful if you just live in the present moment.  That is all true, for sure, but my feeling is what good does it do to tell you that when you already know it?

There are people who cannot take more depth than that, but you won’t find them here at A Clear Sign – at least, not for very long!

My friend Michael at Healed Spirit  wrote on Facebook, “My psychologist friend says a lot of people are afraid to consult with any mentor because the coach, therapist, whatever might find things out about them. Hello?  Silly people.”

Isn’t that the whole point? When I get a reading or chat with someone who I think knows something about me that I don’t know, it’s because I want to lay it on the line and tell the truth, so that I might get an answer that sheds light.  That way I can digest it and move on.

Why would someone want to obfuscate?  Isn’t that wasting time?

Michael said, “Any of that kind of fear, I think, comes from a low alignment with Truth…  your personal truth.  A sort of spiritual paranoia because you really don’t know your self, yourself.  And more importantly, you don’t comprehend that we are All together One, don’t need to love you or like me, or whatever, those are details.  Telling me stuff is like telling yourself.  And sometimes that in itself is big time uncomfortable.”

Bring on the uncomfortable, folks!  We are not in this thing to hide from ourselves.  Bring on the bitter truth!

Now you see, I said “bitter” truth and some would call that a pessimistic view.  I just see it as “truth”, which is often nasty and as a bad aftertaste.  When you see it though, ugly though it may be, you can change it.  Walk away from it.  Understand it.  Be unblocked from it.  That, my friends, is the pearl in your oyster.

You can see what a bang-up job I’m doing at smiling and friendliness at the job, if someone who’s known me for two entire weeks thinks I’m bubbly.  I’m actually going to go out on a limb and say I’m proud of that, because it shows me that I have, at least at moments, shed the grumpies that are my hallmark.  It follows that if you change your mind to view things as happening for the best, or the highest, then even wrong things are right things.  It’s just an attitude adjustment (which some might say was rather a long time coming!)

This brings me to the archetype of The Wounded Healer.

I had a big laugh when I read a remark on a blog where the writer said that “even spiritual people have darkness to overcome,” like this was a surprise or an epiphany or something that might not have occurred to the audience that she’d sooner not have to admit.

Of COURSE they have dark!  How do you think they got so light?  They walked straight through the monstrous forest of evil, soul sucking terror and fear and anxiety.  They had dark times and catastrophes and addictions and wars with themselves.  They know what it means to hurt, to pain, to face Truth with a capital T and have it scare them right out of their pants.

That’s why all of us are so interesting to talk to!

As half of you is blinded by their shiny aura, the other half of you noticed what was in their eyes.  Or their writing.

What constitutes a Wounded Healer?

Going back to Jung, the wounded healer refers psychologically to the capacity “to be at home in the darkness of suffering and there to find germs of light and recovery with which, as though by enchantment, to bring forth Asclepius, the sunlike healer.”

The blessing of the “wound” comes after we have stared it in the face boldly, experienced it completely, and come out the other side.

You have to practically hug the life out of it (usually during a “dark night” period) and be willing to go where it is leading you, no matter how daunting or scary.  You allow it to change your being, completely, by embracing it and allowing it to run through your entire system.  That’s how you learn who you really are.  Once the process has been completed, guess what?

You are never the same again.

It’s like an initiation, where you had no idea what you were getting into when you signed up for it, but once you’re a member you have to say goodbye to who you once thought you were.  You’re changed – forever.

What you do get though is a much bigger you.  You get closer to the soul.  You start to figure out why you were put here, and what you hoped to do.

There are healers and then there are wounded healers, archetypally speaking.  In other words, some of us walk through the valley of the shadow of death to come to you live, to help heal, and to serve.  Maybe there are others who don’t take the dark route.  Although, I haven’t met one yet.

There are wounds and then there are WOUNDS.  Some of us felt like we went through hell but in reality we got off light.  We couldn’t even imagine what other people have had to walk through, and sometimes we don’t want to because our systems couldn’t take it.

Remember the pop song “Hold My Hand” by Hootie and the Blowfish?  It came on in the car while I was driving my son to school the other day and I realized that even the pop-iest of pop songs can have meaning if you look at it through grateful eyes.  I will admit to getting a little misty when it came on, as embarrassing as that admission is, because I had gotten a lot of help in the previous few days (mainly from my Dad) and it just touched me.  It reminded me that not only are there times when I have to accept help (never my forte) but I also get plenty of opportunities to give back, as do we all.

The wide range and breadth of your service to mankind is completely unknown to you – but I promise that every single one of you has delivered it.

You absolutely never know what tiny thing you did today that made an ENORMOUS difference in someone’s life.  You may never even have met them – maybe you helped someone in their family, or a friend – but they still know you helped and they are loving you for it.  The sheer amount of gratitude that has come your way that you are unaware of would astonish you.

Many of you contributed to my “bubbly nature” comment, and I am sure you don’t even know it!  It might have been a comment you made at the right time, a show of support, a phone call, or an epiphany or insight I had as a result of what you contributed.  Think about how many other people come here from around the world who never comment, but read yours.  You just don’t know who you touch and how it ripples.

Find your people to love and hold tight – even those you’ll never meet.

Silently thank those who help in so many little ways.

Miracles can and do happen every day and they start with you, your intent and good will.  Don’t worry about what you show and give away when you look deep and ask the hard questions…that’s where the light is.