The Wounded Healer And A Gold Star Like A Sneetch

Effortless Joy - Share!Share on Google+0Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Email this to someone

Someone at my work said I had a bubbly nature.

It was all I could do to contain myself from bursting out laughing.

Now I want someone to put a gold star on my forehead (or belly, like a Sneetch) because we all know that most people would say I am a bit dark.

There are a million places you can go to read inspirational articles about how you should be kind and loving and everything will be wonderful if you just live in the present moment.  That is all true, for sure, but my feeling is what good does it do to tell you that when you already know it?

There are people who cannot take more depth than that, but you won’t find them here at A Clear Sign – at least, not for very long!

My friend Michael at Healed Spirit  wrote on Facebook, “My psychologist friend says a lot of people are afraid to consult with any mentor because the coach, therapist, whatever might find things out about them. Hello?  Silly people.”

Isn’t that the whole point? When I get a reading or chat with someone who I think knows something about me that I don’t know, it’s because I want to lay it on the line and tell the truth, so that I might get an answer that sheds light.  That way I can digest it and move on.

Why would someone want to obfuscate?  Isn’t that wasting time?

Michael said, “Any of that kind of fear, I think, comes from a low alignment with Truth…  your personal truth.  A sort of spiritual paranoia because you really don’t know your self, yourself.  And more importantly, you don’t comprehend that we are All together One, don’t need to love you or like me, or whatever, those are details.  Telling me stuff is like telling yourself.  And sometimes that in itself is big time uncomfortable.”

Bring on the uncomfortable, folks!  We are not in this thing to hide from ourselves.  Bring on the bitter truth!

Now you see, I said “bitter” truth and some would call that a pessimistic view.  I just see it as “truth”, which is often nasty and as a bad aftertaste.  When you see it though, ugly though it may be, you can change it.  Walk away from it.  Understand it.  Be unblocked from it.  That, my friends, is the pearl in your oyster.

You can see what a bang-up job I’m doing at smiling and friendliness at the job, if someone who’s known me for two entire weeks thinks I’m bubbly.  I’m actually going to go out on a limb and say I’m proud of that, because it shows me that I have, at least at moments, shed the grumpies that are my hallmark.  It follows that if you change your mind to view things as happening for the best, or the highest, then even wrong things are right things.  It’s just an attitude adjustment (which some might say was rather a long time coming!)

This brings me to the archetype of The Wounded Healer.

I had a big laugh when I read a remark on a blog where the writer said that “even spiritual people have darkness to overcome,” like this was a surprise or an epiphany or something that might not have occurred to the audience that she’d sooner not have to admit.

Of COURSE they have dark!  How do you think they got so light?  They walked straight through the monstrous forest of evil, soul sucking terror and fear and anxiety.  They had dark times and catastrophes and addictions and wars with themselves.  They know what it means to hurt, to pain, to face Truth with a capital T and have it scare them right out of their pants.

That’s why all of us are so interesting to talk to!

As half of you is blinded by their shiny aura, the other half of you noticed what was in their eyes.  Or their writing.

What constitutes a Wounded Healer?

Going back to Jung, the wounded healer refers psychologically to the capacity “to be at home in the darkness of suffering and there to find germs of light and recovery with which, as though by enchantment, to bring forth Asclepius, the sunlike healer.”

The blessing of the “wound” comes after we have stared it in the face boldly, experienced it completely, and come out the other side.

You have to practically hug the life out of it (usually during a “dark night” period) and be willing to go where it is leading you, no matter how daunting or scary.  You allow it to change your being, completely, by embracing it and allowing it to run through your entire system.  That’s how you learn who you really are.  Once the process has been completed, guess what?

You are never the same again.

It’s like an initiation, where you had no idea what you were getting into when you signed up for it, but once you’re a member you have to say goodbye to who you once thought you were.  You’re changed – forever.

What you do get though is a much bigger you.  You get closer to the soul.  You start to figure out why you were put here, and what you hoped to do.

There are healers and then there are wounded healers, archetypally speaking.  In other words, some of us walk through the valley of the shadow of death to come to you live, to help heal, and to serve.  Maybe there are others who don’t take the dark route.  Although, I haven’t met one yet.

There are wounds and then there are WOUNDS.  Some of us felt like we went through hell but in reality we got off light.  We couldn’t even imagine what other people have had to walk through, and sometimes we don’t want to because our systems couldn’t take it.

Remember the pop song “Hold My Hand” by Hootie and the Blowfish?  It came on in the car while I was driving my son to school the other day and I realized that even the pop-iest of pop songs can have meaning if you look at it through grateful eyes.  I will admit to getting a little misty when it came on, as embarrassing as that admission is, because I had gotten a lot of help in the previous few days (mainly from my Dad) and it just touched me.  It reminded me that not only are there times when I have to accept help (never my forte) but I also get plenty of opportunities to give back, as do we all.

The wide range and breadth of your service to mankind is completely unknown to you – but I promise that every single one of you has delivered it.

You absolutely never know what tiny thing you did today that made an ENORMOUS difference in someone’s life.  You may never even have met them – maybe you helped someone in their family, or a friend – but they still know you helped and they are loving you for it.  The sheer amount of gratitude that has come your way that you are unaware of would astonish you.

Many of you contributed to my “bubbly nature” comment, and I am sure you don’t even know it!  It might have been a comment you made at the right time, a show of support, a phone call, or an epiphany or insight I had as a result of what you contributed.  Think about how many other people come here from around the world who never comment, but read yours.  You just don’t know who you touch and how it ripples.

Find your people to love and hold tight – even those you’ll never meet.

Silently thank those who help in so many little ways.

Miracles can and do happen every day and they start with you, your intent and good will.  Don’t worry about what you show and give away when you look deep and ask the hard questions…that’s where the light is.


Effortless Joy - Share!Share on Google+0Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Email this to someone


  1. Hi Julie

    Bubbly eh? Well it sounds good and you never know what part of yourself that others actually see. I was told by more than one person where I had worked that they thought I was funny. What, me funny? I never once thought of myself that way. May be witty once in awhile, but never funny. So they obviously seen a side of me that I did not know about. It definitely is a lesson in how people perceive you as. We can be different to so many people and who knows what part of us they actually need.

    Spiritual people…is out of darkness or fear of darkness? I have mixed feelings about that. I was raised in a religious home, but there was darkness that lurked in the home. Hypocrisy flourished which lead me to search for deeper meaning for life as opposed to only the religious avenue that was taught me.

    Interesting topic today.

    Mary Stephenson recently posted..Appreciation of the Things We Never Really SeeMy Profile

    • Hi Mary, I’ve known you to be funny 🙂 You make an excellent point about what part of us others see. I keep thinking people should see what we mean or intend, and of course they often do not!

      When I say “dark” I don’t mean “evil”, I mean acknowledging and moving through our shadow aspect to come to better understanding of ourselves and how the world works around us.

  2. I just love you and your wonderful mind and insight, once again your timing is perfect for me to read the post. Thank you for being you <3

  3. daggum smart phone….. It’s me…Lorin, not Lorine:)

  4. Oh a huge woot woot and one more gold star (I’d make it a pink one personally) Julie 🙂

    LOVED this (sharing all around).

    YES of course we walk in the dark, often without flashlights!

    I have a little crack up most days when people tell me they “healed all that stuff in their early twenties” (omg).

    It’s a journey and I didn’t come here to play small, which is why I have to deal with my stuff, and why I want to deal and be present. It just takes waaaaay too much energy recover the wounding.

    And, I didn’t do my deep work alone. I had to have friends hold my hand – so I could see myself in the mirror.

    It doesn’t stop, every day brings a new delight and a new deal.

    Hugs and love and pink stars all around!!

    Robin Hallett recently posted..Epic dreams cannot flourish in an unwelcome environment.My Profile

    • Hi Robin! I will take pink stars. In fact, that sounds better 🙂

      Really, they healed all that stuff in their 20s, did they? I hope they aren’t too much older than that now! Hoo boy.

      I love the way you put that – never play small (like never say die??)

      Hope you’re enjoying your summer.

  5. Congrats on the bubbly! Sharing your dark spots–oh dear, vulnerability? Interesting, an issue I’m strugging with right now, so timely post. Thanks for the reminder.
    kdivasilver recently posted..I don’t like Sunday (nights) (D9)My Profile

  6. I give the goat the credit for the bubbly nature. 😉
    Josh recently posted..The Content You Ignore Is Killing Your BlogMy Profile

  7. Hey, it’s okay not to be bubbly. Carbonation leaches the calcium from your bones. But you are awesome in all other respects, and that’s the non-bitter truth. 🙂
    Jennifer Lynne Flint recently posted..Meet ManatMy Profile

  8. Another good one. Sure yer bubbly… why not? A lot better than grumpy on the job. Just don’t save all the grumpy for home… 😉

    What the hell is a Sneech?
    Michael recently posted..Are You Too Special to Succeed?My Profile

    • It’s from Dr. Seuss, remember the Sneetches with Plain Belly Sneetches and those with Stars Upon Thars, who spent a really long time getting stars put on and stars taken off in the misguided notion that it any difference. They made the man with the star machine really rich before they figured out they were all the same.

  9. Dang Julie! You’re blogs are ALWAYS synchronized with my thoughts or situations.
    Are we from the same soul group?! Lol. Funny, reading the first part of your blog about
    your co-workers perception of you reminded me of this great little show, that wasn’t very popular
    called “Dead Like Me”. (The characters have died & in death are recruited as Grim Reapers, to take the souls of those about to die so they won’t suffer their demise. The show is a dry, quirky comedy.) But to my point, they are not the same in death as they were in life though they see themselves & each other as they were in life. I always connected with Georgia, the main character in that every time she saw her reflection it was a different face staring back at her. People pepper me with compliments & perceptions
    ( their truths of me) & I see myself in a whole other way. I see dark, grumpy & distant- they see light, happy & comfort. They see attractive & I see average (on a good day). I guess it keeps the scales from tipping too far in one direction & spurs us on to continue the quest for our truths. Anyway, please don’t stop sharing. You rock!

    • Hi Nicole, Well the human thing tends to revolve around the same stuff 🙂

      I never saw the show -sounds interesting!- but I have had that mirroring thing happen. They see what they want to see, not what’s there, to fit their needs, and so do we, even if we don’t mean to. It can get easier to perceive more accurately the more you practice but it’s a very tricky thing.

  10. Well I see the bubbly in you too…love the sneetch concept…even though I’ve never heard of it before.

    Thing of it is that we get to experience it all and as for us, we get to see who we are reflected in people around us. It’s a fabulous system for showing what’s going on within, just in case we’re not that in touch. So ‘fess up kiddo, you’ve got some bubbles and I *love* that about you.

    Elle recently posted..5 Amazing Quotes That Feed Your Mind And Bring You BlissMy Profile

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge