Archives for June 2013

Are Your Attachments Showing?

Fuzzy-Handcuffs

The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences. – Author Unknown

Attachments matter.

What are you truly attached to?

You will find that a lot of trouble ensues when you get overly attached to

  • a thing, like a house or car
  • a person
  • your identity through your career or special interest
  • a location
  • or an idea
  • outcomes (makes it tough to distinguish between intuition and ego hopes)

One day I woke up with someone from my dream still shouting,”It’s just a roof!”

You know it when your spirit guides have visited you in a dream, and this was one of those times.

With the statement came a change in the way I felt about my house situation.  That was truth – my actual house is not important except that it provides a roof over my family’s head.  Not wanting to live in a tent or from the car in 90 degree heat with a family of four, three dogs, three cats, two turtles, and a goat is certainly a reasonable expectation.  Did it have to be this roof, though?

No, not really.

Then why was I so committed to keeping this particular one?

Sure it would be easier to keep this roof – no moving costs or effort, no change of business address, no change in schools.  There are lots of things that I don’t even like about it, though.  Why was I so intent on things staying the same, when things were not even that great?

I was attached to the money that had already been invested and would be lost.  I was attached to my credit score.  I was attached to the idea that putting 50% down on a house and keeping a year’s worth of income should have been enough.  It wasn’t.

It is one heck of a financial blow to take for people who always prided themselves on an 800 credit score.

Uh oh, can you find the bad word in that statement? Pride.

With pride comes attachment.  When you take pride in something, it can be your downfall if you don’t know when to cut and run, or you find yourself stuck and you can’t get out of your commitment.

When you find yourself stuck, what is the best thing to do?

Detach.

The situation resolved itself only after we became ambivalent.  Yes, we needed a house, period.

Attachments are emotional debts.  There’s a lot going on under the surface energetically and pattern-wise.

You might feel that way about your car, your job, your family, or the outcome to any one situation.

How would you feel if today you lost your career and you had no possibility of ever going back to it?  If you had to start from scratch, figure out what your soul was calling you to do next, and then begin?  Would you feel that you had lost your identity?  Your sense of purpose?  Or would you look upon it as a grand adventure into the unknown?

Or a little of both?

If someone told you that you had to leave the area where you live and move half way around the world to some place you’ve never heard of let alone had any desire to go to, what does the pit of your stomach do?

Do you first think of loss?  I’ll miss my friends, home, familiar places, climate, family, favorite hangout, restaurant and bookstore?

Or do you first think of the adventure of discovery that is waiting for you in the new world and wonder why you are being sent there?

Just how attached are you to your location?

When you hear someone else announce that they are leaving or trying something new, changing careers or having a baby or leaving a marriage, it makes you feel something, doesn’t it?  Even if it doesn’t directly impact you, you may feel the impact.  If it’s your spouse, partner, child, parent, good friend or boss, that can really shake up your world.

If your best friend moves away, you can be simultaneously happy for them and sad for yourself.

Take some time to examine what you are attached to, especially the initial feeling you get in your gut, and you know what areas of learning might be coming up next for you on your spiritual path.

Sometimes we have paths set out for us that we are going to go on, no matter what.  If we throw a kink in the works by saying,”Oh that sounds great but it has to be done my way, in this place, with those people, at this cost,” then prepare for potential trouble.  Those are all your attachments showing.

Your expectations and limitations are what can gum up the works.

Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.  —  R. Scott Richards

Suppose you are on a mission to become a writer and deliver your message to the world.  Do you have to be the next great American author of a best selling novel?  Or might you do it as a writer of the greatest ad ever, seen millions of times on the internet?  Or could it be through an innocent comment you make to a doctor at an appointment that gets him thinking and eventually, through a bunch of other people, changes the course of medicine and saves lives?

What channel does it have to come through?  Does it have to be your mouthpiece, or could you be a contributor?  Do you feel the need to receive the credit?  Or is what’s important that the world gets changed?  Maybe no one but you ever knows of your contribution.  Maybe you never even find out that it was your idea, thought, or comment that generated the whole thing in the first place.  Does that change its value in any way?

The Wedding Album Story – Detachment To Outcome

A wedding photographer didn’t ever deliver the photo album that had been paid for.  On top of that, he had said and done something to the family that the bride did not like one bit.  He was deeply dishonest.  She took him to small claims court.  Imagine the look on the photographer’s face when the bride told the judge that the photographer could keep the album.  She didn’t care about it.

Doesn’t everyone care about their wedding photos?  Wouldn’t it be reasonable for the photographer to assume that he wouldn’t have to put out any money for damages in a broken contract, he could just deliver the wedding album?

Not when the people who got married were already in the process of divorce.

That’s the degree of detachment you want to have to outcome.

She just didn’t care.  She only took him to court because of the insult to the family.  She felt she could not let that one slide.  She had to see it through – but she didn’t care what the outcome was.  The cards were all with her.  She didn’t fear any outcome.  Win or lose, she did what she came to do.

You can be present, and doing everything you should or can, without attachment.

On that day in court, she thought of the phrase, “He who cares least, wins.”  I’ve also heard that stated,”He who cares least holds the power.”

It’s true.  It’s remarkable how different a fight looks when you don’t care about being the victor and you have nothing at stake.

Eventually you find that that power is irrelevant, too.

Imagine yourself in pursuit of your highest goals and mission.  Not caring about power.  Not concerned with any one particular battle.  Not seeking out nor shying away from any confrontation.

You will know when to step forward.  You will know when to commit.  You will know when to be brave and take a stand…and it may not even feel like bravery anymore.

When you know the universe has your back…

When you know you are supported no matter what…

When you have a sense of your purpose and what role you are here to play today…

When you understand that things that look bad are not bad, they just are

When you aren’t attached to outcome

That is when you can really get things done.

What are your attachments?