Authenticity Within and Without?

Effortless Joy - Share!Share on Google+0Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Email this to someone


I really wanted to record a video, but my webcam decided to go undetected.  I figure it’s the goat’s fault, since he has pushed my laptop off the table.  I decided to record audio for you, so it’s your choice…listen or read.   No, it’s not a transcript, but it is generally on the same topic.  The audio is a little more colorful.

Is the “you” in your head the same as the “you” you project out into the world? How do you know it’s consistent? What signs might you get if it isn’t, and why does it matter?

Does authenticity matter?

Those of us who work at home don’t always see too many people during the course of the day.  That’s generally just fine with me, but there is a limit.  People kept pointing out to me that I was isolated. I decided to set my intention to get out more into the community.  Sure enough, I started running into acquaintances everywhere – at the gym, the grocery store, the gas station, Costco.

Then one day a mother from the school came over because she needed an old-fashioned object that most modern people don’t have anymore, but those of us who live in the woods still have…a phone line.  So I assured her she was welcome to come on over and make use of it, and it was nice to see her and actually have a visitor during the day unrelated to my husband’s business.  Some days it’s Grand Central Station over here, but it’s pretty rare to get someone I actually enjoy seeing.  See, people were coming to me now!

I thought I was doing a good job of being friendly.  I spoke to people, I said hello, I smiled.  I used to just go out and get things done.  I am always thinking about something.  Some might say I wander around with my head in the clouds or am just generally unobservant.

You might think that sounds funny coming from an intuitive.  Don’t I actually know a whole lot about people?  Well yes…and no.  It’s kind of like not seeing the forest for the trees.  When you live in your head as much as I do, you get hyper-focused on ideas and problem solving, so you can miss a lot of what is actually going on in the world around you.  It’s kind of hard to get an intuitive download at the same time as you’re doing other things.

Then I noticed that just about every time I saw someone I knew, they had to get my attention.  I didn’t notice them first.  They brought messages about my kids, things their kids had told them about my kids that I didn’t even know about.   I ran into someone in the gym this morning and I said,”Funny I’ve been coming here for years and we’ve never run into each other before.”  She said,”That’s because you’re walking around like this,” and she lowered her head to the ground.

I’d just been patting myself on the back about how much more attention I was paying to people out in the world!  Someone had made a suggestion that we just try smiling at five people a day, and I thought that might be hard.  I decided to count.  That day, I needed new tires, and I realized how I was automatically smiling at people and talking to them, so without even trying I had eight done in half an hour.

I’ve been told by several people lately that the me they read about on these pages is unrecognizable compared to the me they know in real life.

“Wow, wouldn’t know you.”

“If I didn’t know you were the same person, I wouldn’t believe it.”

“I read your blog.  You’re a psychic?  What do you mean, you’re psychic?”

“I thought I knew you.”

I really had no idea there was such a discrepancy.  It’s not like I try to hide it – my name is on the blog.  True enough, I don’t bring it up in casual conversation, either.

Then I had two experiences, one after the other, where I wasn’t being heard.  The people both know what I do.  They both brought me problems and asked for my intuitive advice.  I proceeded to give them a live reading.  The only thing is, they didn’t realize that’s what I was doing.  I suppose they thought what I was saying was my personal opinion, rather than information downloaded from spirit, because after chatting for some time, each of them asked me,”So, getting anything for me?”

I was nonplussed.  I wanted to say,”Yes, everything I just said for the last twenty minutes!”

I wondered what they were expecting?

Then I realized, just like we sometimes don’t see ourselves as others do, we also sometimes don’t take in what spirit is telling us.

Even if…we know we’re talking to a psychic.

Even if…we’ve asked our spirit guides for a sign.

It still doesn’t seem to cross our minds that what another person tells us is often the answer to our question…delivered from spirit through another person.

It’s not always Joe Shmoe’s advice we’re getting.  It’s not always Julie, Just Another Mother At The School.  Imagine that – you have no idea who I am other than I’m some kid’s Mom.  You bring up a problem and I tell you what your spirit guide told me to say.  Except I don’t say it’s from your spirit guide.  I just give you the answer.  I, Julie, happen to usually know what’s my advice and what came from spirit, but a lot of times people don’t realize where the information comes from…they just say what popped into their head.  Some people are more conscious than others, but how many of us are going to say,”You know, I’m psychic, and your spirit guide just told me to tell you…”  No!  We’re never going to do that.

So…just for this week, maybe start to wonder about how you are perceived in the world.  Has anyone mentioned a discrepancy to you?  Do you keep “all of you” a secret?  Are there some major pieces that you just don’t share?  And when someone gives you advice, do you “consider the source” and discard it, or do you maybe not even know who the real source is after all?

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  1. Ayla ;) says:

    I liked this post, Julie, and I resonated with what you are saying in many ways. Online, I feel more free to open up, speak my mind, and be humorous, because I find more of a community in which I can do so. My neighbors are nice, but they don’t get me and I secretly dread the Mayberry existence. Sometimes it bothers me that in my perception, I see so many people happily settling in their lives, not questioning what else is out there; yet, they seem more content in not knowing, and I find I envy that at times. I’m sociable, but I’m also shy and very introverted and do “live in my mind”. So much going on in there that’s more exciting than what’s around me. Creating, analyzing, running lists of things to do… It gets pretty comfortable in there. I have to force my mind to quiet down and make quite an effort to live in the moment and notice what’s around me. I find I’m able to do this much easier outside among the animals and nature. I am so awed by the beauty of the simplest things in these moments. I think balance is vital. Take a break! It gives us a fresh perspective when we return to our thoughts.

    • Hi Ayla, It’s amazing who is out there in the world…thank goodness for the internet, right?! I work outside…it’s always so funny when I connect with others visually and they’re like how come you’re not in an office?? No need for walls, nature works better for me.

  2. Love love loved this! :)))))

  3. Thanks Julie, we all need to hear this message, woman! I am all for authenticity. And, totally getting the territory about family friends and peeps reading the blog. Gonna share share share.
    Thank you for the audio cast – good idea. I am a listener over a reader.
    Love to you,
    Robin Hallett recently posted..Giving Your Attention to what’s BloomingMy Profile

  4. LOVED this one! I’ve been doing my best to watch for messages in my life and lately, I keep noticing several people keep ‘showing up’ like you’re always talking about. Like I got a comment from someone I know on Pinterest (and we had this big conversation in the comment section) and then 2 days later, a woman I work with sends me an email asking me if I know the SAME woman I was just talking to on Pinterest. She said she found her biz card in a stack and wondered if I knew her or at least knew of her. So, I emailed this woman who keeps popping up and we’re meeting for lunch next week.

    I am working on a product launch that she can help me with me but really, I need to meet with her to figure out why she keeps showing up to me.

    BTW – I noticed the new graphics on your site like the graphic for this post. Do you know about IF not, you should check it out. It’ll help you create cool graphics for free.
    penneyfox recently posted..Counting Blue CarsMy Profile

    • Hi Penney, Oh yes I have used picmonkey for a while now and the lastest is from Quozio. I must be having 1st and 2nd chakra issues this week because red and orange are calling to me 🙂 I’ve been creating graphics and changing my mind all week!

      That is so interesting about this woman…you’ll have to come back and let me know what came of it!

  5. Oh girl, I SO know what you mean. I oftentimes will tell on myself that I’m so much more outspoken offline then online. I never really cared what others thought of me because I know I’m a darn good person but I come online and you would not have recognized me. I’ve come out of my shell though once I realized that I was letting other people intimidate me for no apparent reason.

    I’m not around many people at all either and I’ll snap at people who aren’t doing their jobs right. I live in a condo complex and I’m on the board of directors. Because I work at home you can imagine who gets the job of meeting with the workers for the property. I tell you sometimes I wonder how they get by in life because they’re dumber then dirt. I’m sorry if that sounded horrible but I have a feeling you know exactly what I mean.

    I’m probably just as bad though not quite understanding that the message being relayed to me could be through my spirit guide. I wish I could learn to really pay more attention to what they share with me. I get those gut instincts and I’ve learned to pay attention to those so I have come a long way.

    Always enjoy your posts and you should blurt your blog link out to all your friends and neighbors. Let them meet the real Julie! Or is it!!! 😉

    Adrienne recently posted..How To Easily Compress Your ImagesMy Profile

    • Hi Adrienne, My husband is a building contractor and I understand exactly what you meant. Some days I want to pull my hair out before I can figure out what’s going on with some of the subcontractors. Then they look at me like I’m the dummy and so I have to say, would it be too much to ask to get a bill? Like with a date? And a % of completion amount? And when you were there and exactly what you did? Because there’s always at least one of those things missing and it makes it awfully hard when I have to bill the clients!

      Anyway, if you’re following your gut you’re probably most of the way there. You may be better than I am with my own! It’s always easier to read for other people.

  6. Hi Julie

    I found out most people don’t want your advice even when they ask for it.

    We probably do have more than one personality for people to see. We can be one way online and totally different offline. I observe people and sometimes I am friendly, sometimes I am indifferent. But living in a highly populated area I rarely run into anyone I know other than right in my own couple of blocks. I try to smile at people as much as possible if the time seems appropriate.

    People only let you see what they want you to see. So, do you ever really know anyone unless you actually live with them and may not even then.

    I guess the goat is going to take the rap for all the things that go wrong!

    Mary Stephenson recently posted..A Disorganized MessMy Profile

    • Hi Mary, Well that is true about the whole “not wanting advice” thing but I have had to learn to let go of outcomes. All I can go is pass the message, after that it’s all free will. Mainly.

      I know what you mean about personalities, but the closer I move toward being who I really am the less I change under any circumstances. The most I will do is push out or retract my energy, but I don’t shapeshift for anyone anymore.

      Yeah the goat is really handy for blaming – he gets into everything!! He’s a force to be reckoned with.

  7. OK…I’ve been thinking more about this authenticity thing.
    I don’t think we set out to be this way. I think that within us all there’s the spirit who wants to let their freak flag fly (some are freakier than others, but I digress…) In the course of life, we let that part of us out now and then, when we feel safe in doing so. The question is, what are each of us afraid of, really? And you do bring up a good point about perhaps not realizing when and in what situations we are doing this. It has become such the norm to stifle ourselves for society’s sake, to blend in or to fit into some warped ideal of the norm. Does that even truly exist? We admire the black sheep because they are brave enough to stand out, to blaze their own trails. So why doesn’t everyone?
    I came across this picture today of a cat wearing psychedelic sunglasses. The caption says, “Be Weird. Be Random. Be Who You Are. Because You Never Know Who Would Love the Person You Hide.” If you think about it like that, the path before you becomes quite clear. Essentially, we want to be with people that we can really be ourselves with. How is not being our authentic selves going to get us closer to that? It’s ludicrous. And yet I think we are all at some level afraid to let the world see all of who we really are. Then again, the closer we get to Who We Really Are empowers us and frees us. Maybe it’s akin to stage fright. After that first song, if you get a good response, you feel ready to really kick in.
    I wore my AC/DC shirt to a school function today. Hey, baby steps.

    • Your AC/DC shirt! Why, I never 🙂

      Right, when you consider how often you shapeshift (act the way you do to accomodate the situation or the person, outside of what you would like to say/do, or to avoid a fight etc) you begin to realize that you are not being you most of the time. There is no “blending in”, there is no “normal” for those who operate like this. That’s the whole idea behind getting old and suddenly doing/saying whatever you want, because you’ve “earned it.”

      • Exactly! Shapeshifting is an interesting term to use. I like that. It’s true though. I have been guilty of that to some degree. I thought I was just being “easy-going”, and people would often comment that I could get along with anybody. I had to really pick apart what was me being nice or compassionate toward the other person, or me going along to get along. At the end of the day, you know if it was time wasted compromising yourself or if it was genuine by how drained or uplifted you feel.
        We all fear getting older to an extent, if for no other reason than health or vanity issues. But more and more I see the positives in it: just as you said about “earning it”. I miss my grandparents and elder neighbors terribly. There was no beating around the bush, no mincing words. Just telling it like it is (and maybe sometimes to a fault!) And I would think, “I want to be just like that when I’m that age.” By that time for most people, the pressure’s ready to blow. I think they get away with it a lot more than the younger ones do.

  8. Oh, I can relate to much of this, of course. A lot of it is a personality or introversion issue – even if you’re not shy, people and things can just be kind of overstimulating. It’s not a lack of friendliness, but just the need to limit sensory input that makes introverts withdraw into our own heads. Besides, it’s so interesting in there! INTJs can have a particular struggle with this sort of thing, and often appear more aloof than we really are. It does bear watching and mindfulness.

    Funny, though, I was just reading about the whole authenticity thing in Dr. Phil’s new book this morning (yeah, I admit it, but I did get it for free). He says it’s very important to decide who you are and then to “stay in character” 100% of the time.

    I thought, hey, no problem, I’m definitely a character 100% of the time! No apologies there. 🙂
    Jennifer Lynne Flint recently posted..Not a Dry Eye in SightMy Profile

    • Hi Jenny, Yes ummm…it sure is interesting in there (I mean, here!). I am just worst because I am a borderline I and a borderline J…it’s like half of me wants to go party and the other half desperately wants to be alone 🙂

      To me it feels more like I shed the stuff I am not and eventually the core emerges. Now that core has a Libra asc so it’s always weighing things, seeing both sides, and reminding you “not to forget” that other side. Which is not only annoying to others but quite frequently to self. So yes let’s all stay in character, characters that we are.

  9. Anne McCarroll says:

    Loved this post – and audio, too!! Being ‘invisible’ seems to be a common thread I’ve been coming across lately – myself included. This is unusual to me because like me, I find you outspoken and well heard based in posts and responses. I’ve had people practically run into me Physically and tell me they didn’t see me- or, talk right over me as if I’d not opened my mouth!
    I did read an article recently by J. Hoffman – she stated this has been happening because
    So many folks are not completely ‘here’ – we are working throughout the dimensions – so take it or leave it, what does seem obvious is that working in heightened awareness (living that way) seems to remove our presence from the carpool line of life if only for a while. I’m just not sure if that is good or bad, given the situation at the moment!

    • Anne, Interestingly I have to be completely present in the carpool line of life tomorrow at a meeting at the school, and let me tell ya it is not so easy to get things done here without massively shifting gears. It is sort of a fascinating idea that JH presents, but even if it’s actually accurate we are here for a 3D experience and we have to live it (if for no other reason than people are depending on us!) Oy vey, it’s a challenge.

  10. Similar things happen to me, too. I’m curious now about how people who know me in person think I’m different from what they know of me online. And does it matter how they knew me first? I’m going to ask and see what turns up. For me, there is the added layer of using a pen name. Fascinating topic!
    Galen Pearl recently posted..The Water Is for EveryoneMy Profile

  11. Hi Julie,
    Your post caught my eye today as I am one of those people who work from home – and my work computer system is down so I actually have time to read for a few minutes!

    Working from home does isolate me. I am tethered to my cell phone and the computer all day so it’s hard to find time to interact with “real” people until after 7 or 8 pm when all the real people go home!

    That said….I work in the financial industry so I have two personas. I do not share that I am a psychic medium with my financial clients. I’d love to but, I feel it would be more detrimental than helpful. I call it my “diviner’s dilemma.” To share or not to share?

    I do believe that one of the reasons why I am successful is because I am so intuitive. So, while I can’t share who I am completely and authentically with my financial clients they do benefit from my insight.

    I’d love to be one whole person instead of fragmented into two but, it’s just one of those things that can’t be helped at this time.
    Angela Artemis|Powered by Intuition recently posted..5 Encounters with Spirits: PbI Readers Share Their StoriesMy Profile

    • Hi Angela, I’m so glad you had a moment of peace and came by. I am always surprised by the people who are accepting and interested in what we do, who you wouldn’t think would be. As intuitives, you’d think we’d know! But sometimes it’s tricky to put ourselves out there like that when it may not be appropriate. I have a dilemma with the school that I have been speaking to other mothers about, and I can’t tell you how many times people have said.”I followed my gut” or something along those lines. Someday it will all come together for you (or you won’t be in a position to have to make the split anymore). Here’s to then.

  12. LOL I really love this article! I can totally relate to you. I’m the type of person that likes to stay home, sure I have days where I want to go out with my friends but I’m actually fine with just staying home. People may think that I’m anti-social, but I’m not and those people say that because they don’t know me. They don’t know that I’m building a home business or the fact that I like meeting new people and see what type of business they’re building. Its really interesting and its nice to know that you’ll share something personal with us.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Melanie Legaspi recently posted..MLSP vs MLMZing – See Which Program I Quit to Join the CompetitorMy Profile

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