Archives for February 2013

What Scenes Will They Show You At Your Life Review?

My Boys, The Atlantic Ocean

My Boys, The Atlantic Ocean

After you die and the veil gets lifted, they say you have a Life Review.

In the Life Review, you are supposed to experience your life over again like a movie.  You actually feel how other people felt, based upon your influence on them.  If you screamed and they cried, you feel their pain.  If you had no idea you made an impact on them at all, you get to see what it meant to them – good or bad.  I imagine that your good deeds, actions and the love you shared are available to be felt, too.

This is the time when you “get” everything you never understood while you were here.  Which lessons you came here to learn.  The details of your Soul Contracts.  Why you came here to Earth and if you even touched it.  The secret to things like why all of your romantic partners followed a pattern.  Anything and everything – it all becomes clear, for your soul’s growth.

This has got to be the most fascinating part of the soul’s journey – at least, it seems that way to me.  I always want to know,”Why?”  Rarely do we get those answers while we’re still living.  Not that I’m looking to go before my time, but I just wish there was a clause in there that let us remember what has come before, without have to do past life regression.

I wonder if it’s a double-edged sword?  If you go through life like Pollyanna and make no errors (if that’s even possible, which I doubt), then have you done any of the work you were supposed to do?  If you didn’t do your work, then you may have to choose to go back and try all over again?  If you did your work and then see all the mistakes, the unintended consequences, the hurt feelings, then do you get a pass for trying or an A for effort?  I imagine that everything is done in support of our soul’s understanding and growth – that’s what the anecdotal evidence points to, anyway.  We might have been through it 553 times already, but we can’t remember a thing.

I see a lot of train wrecks.  Sometimes I just want to cover my eyes because I know the end result is not going to be a good one.  It’s funny how I know so many people who are what I would consider to be “ahead of me” on the curve, making all kinds of mistakes.  That’s why there is no such thing as a guru.  There may be plenty of people who know a lot more than you do about certain things, but they don’t know everything.  Pretty much (definitely) everyone is fallible.  A good strategy is the old “take what you need and leave the rest.”

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don’t know – Kansas, Carry On My Wayward Son

Judging others is simultaneously difficult not to do (and really, so ingrained in us) yet clearly not the way to go.

The minute you start to judge, you might as well stick your hand out for a smack with a stick.  I guarantee that the reason it was brought to your attention in the first place is so that you can learn a lesson.

I say I guarantee it – but I, like all of you, am plenty fallible, so I could be wrong.

Case in point:

One day I was staring in astonishment when I realized that someone was running their whole life based on what a parent thought of them, even though they are middle aged.  The next I was shocked when someone pointed out to me that I may not care in particular what anyone thinks of me, but I was completely subject to being affronted by not being allowed complete freedom to run my place, my way.  I was acting like a rebellious teenager.  One coin, two sides.  Tricky, isn’t it?

I got my first ever real negative comment on the blog today.  Here it is:

Julie you seem like a very negative person for being so “spiritual” – JoJo

Yes!  Thank you!  I could kiss her.

I used to think that life was black and white.  I have this great antennae for moral issues.  In fact, I once won a Prize at my all girls Sacred Heart school in the tenth grade for Morality.  This irked one of my Catholic classmates to no end, because I was a Jew (and God apparently knows that Jews are immoral?  I’m not sure where she was going with that.)

The fact is that there is so much complexity to what’s going on behind the scenes – soul contracts, agreements, destiny, who knows what – that you may think you know the whole story, but you never do.  Never.

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” – John 8:7

Good luck with that.

Yesterday I was loading up the car with my two sons to race off to elementary school.  I am having a respite from my persistent middle-of-the-night-waking insomnia that started the month before I had my first son, who is now eight years old.  That means that even though I got more sleep, I was like a zombie in the morning.  It was a rare 44 degrees outside so naturally I was wearing flip flops, shorts, and a giant man’s green hooded sweatshirt.  I was slinging gym bags, lunch boxes, backbacks, sippy cups, and rye toast into the car, cursing the air conditioning that blasted on when I started the engine, and telling the newly minted five year old that we were late, it was 7:35 am, and  he was now old enough to put his own seatbelt on and hadn’t he already done it one hundred times before?

That’s when he said,”Mom, you’re going to live long enough that all your hair will be white.”

I really want to know which ghost lives in the backseat of my car.  I feel sorry for them, because even though I shovel it out at the end of every day, it is always a mess back there.

Whoever it is, they have conversations with my son.

It’s always right when we get into the car that these words of wisdom and knowledge come pouring out – here, and then gone.

Right now I am forty-five years old and my hair went from blonde to kinda brown about five years ago.  Sure enough, when something that says “old lady” comes in, it’s white, not gray.  They are not visible or obvious, and surely my five-year old doesn’t know that some people get white hair instead of the usual gray.

They’re like Missives From The Great Beyond.  Things that only adults would say.  Things that predict the future.  Things that I wonder where they come from.  The one thing I know is, they’re not from him.

One of my friends is making a major life transition.  He’s traveling the exact opposite route from the one I took many moons ago when I graduated college.  I’m not sure what it is about his journey that I find so compelling.  Maybe it’s the little memories that cropped up, unbidden, that I didn’t even remember I had.  It was like a mini-Life Review, from the perspective of more than half my life later.

When I did that trip, I made a host of foolish mistakes, like towing a car that I forgot to gas up and getting stranded in the desert with a broken down Uhaul and a car with 1/8 of a tank of gas.  I listened to the vet and decided it would be a good idea to give the cat, who had just been declawed (never again, how cruel, but what did I know?) and was recovering from the operation, tranquilizers to make the trip easier.  This resulted in the cat going crazy and trying to claw his way out of the cage and creating a bloody mess.  I was also moving there to get into a marriage that would soon fail.  I set a course on a job that would show me the whole western part of the country and run me right into a soulmate who I had missed back in my old state but who I would meet in my new state, through the oddest series of “meant to be” events that I have ever knowingly experienced.

I wonder why we do what we do?  Sometimes messages just get handed to us like what my son said.  It might have meant,”Start taking better care of your health because you’re going to be here for a while yet.”  It could have been saying any number of things, actually.

So when I go, what will I see in my Life Review?  Will it be the dumb, short tempered in-a-rush moments?  Will it be the ones where I just sat back and observed the enormity of what is happening through Spirit and took it all in?  How about the ones where I ate too much birthday cake instead of saying what I really felt?  Or the laughter with friends?  The moments of terror and fear that can go along with pregnancy?  All of the decision points, some of which we have time to consider and others that get thrust upon us at a second’s notice and we have to move now?

I’m not so sure that the moments where we were “good” and restrained ourselves are the ones that matter the most.  I never did drugs, but where did it get me?  Maybe I just missed out on a lot of fun?

How about the ones where we took huge, giant leaps of faith into our true passions – literally or esoterically – and things got royally screwed up and people got hurt?

When we get it right, everything falls into place like a cascade of dominoes.  Fate, destiny, and our intentions can wash over us like the tide, carrying us far away from our anticipated destination.  Sometimes we end up somewhere much better – sometimes we don’t.

In the meantime, as in the photo above, when the kids walk into the ocean in their Perfect For Picture Day clothes, we can get all upset about it or we can just say,”Oh – okay,” as we watch them run off like bats out of hell.  It’s not like they were going to stop, anyway.  We can let them go and be.  After all, this is mainly their journey – we are just the guardians.

Plus, those can be the best memories for us, too.

So, what scenes do you think you’ll see at your Life Review?

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