In All Things Be Yourself And Never Rise To The Bait

Effortless Joy - Share!Share on Google+0Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Email this to someone


You are the only one who can use your ability. It is an awesome responsibility. – My pal Zig Ziglar from business school days

If you look around the world you’ll notice that the pressure to conform is on.  Media and politics are responsible for twisting scenarios into pretzels, and they expect you to put your own mustard on and take a bite.  That’s why many of us simple turn off the tv and occasionally browse the news highlights for anything critical we need to know about.

With the proliferation of blogging, there is a whole new media group vying for your time and attention.  Stop to consider who you are allowing into your mind and heart.

I read an article by a Christian man who works for a fairly famous Christian money advice guy and who has written his own books.  In the article he expressed his doubts and concerns about how Other People reacted to his book (which took a somewhat radical departure in about three places from standard modern day Christian doctrine, according to him).  He worried about taking an assignment from CNN because it was considered the Devil’s News by some people he was trying to influence and by his current employer at the time.  He worried over how his actions would be perceived by others in his circles of influence, and what the penalties for doing what he really wanted to do would be.

I am not now nor have I ever been a Christian and I have never had much to do with any organized religion, other than associating with people who were very much involved in their own churches and synagogues.  So, I won’t say I can understand the pressures of “belonging”.

I will say that

whether it is your country or your church or your workplace or any other “institution”

when they set a Rule that they insist you comply with and conform to

and that fundamentally makes you change who you are in order to fit in

and find acceptance

Run As Fast As Your Little Feet Can Carry You.

Don’t allow anyone to crush your soul.

Do strive to be yourself in every moment and in every place.

It’s not always easy to know exactly who and what that is, or when to take action and speak up in the face of injustice.  But when it’s “being done to you”, you should feel it in your gut.  Literally.  Take notice and become aware of what your body is telling you.  Do a gut check.  That’s what that means – your intuition speaks you through your body if you pay attention to it. 

So next time you’re doubting “what she meant by that”, instead of thinking first, FEEL first.  If your tummy is queasy or your chest feels anxiety, there’s your answer.  No matter how sweet (or passive aggressive) the words – don’t be fooled.

And for goodness sake, be on the alert for people selling you things – products for money, ideas – that sound too easy AND don’t ring true. 

It has to be both, because the BEST ideas are SIMPLE. 

The biggest lies are usually SIMPLE (“the law of attraction will bring you everything you wanted if you just imagine it”) and MAKE YOU DOUBT (“that doesn’t sound right to me but she’s so pretty and her hair bounces and she says it worked for her, so if I just believe like she tells me to it will all work out, let me lay back in my lazy chair and use my imagination…”)

If you’re ever feeling overwhelmed and stuck, pare down your list or what you read, who you see, and what you allow into your sphere of influence.  In the course of doing that, you’ll notice that an awful lot of superfluous things fall by the wayside. 

You’ll be left with your core.  Is it Positive (even in a negative situation), is it True, is it You?  Does your soul say “yes” to it, or “I”m not sure”?  It’s okay not to be sure, but be on a mission to be observant and figure it out for yourself. 

Not everything is for everyone, so don’t rise to the bait of “everyone”

thinks so

reads it

does it

follows them

So what?

“Everyone” has nothing to do with you.  Except, were all interconnected, don’t forget that.  That’s why it’s so important for you to simply be you, for your very own reasons – because it influences the rest of the world.  I am sure you’d like that to be for all the right reasons.


Effortless Joy - Share!Share on Google+0Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Email this to someone


  1. Todd | Channelingmyself says:

    It can be a dangerous thing trying to be someone that you know you can’t be. Many people have wasted most of their lives hanging onto a belief that never resonated with them in the first place, they just wanted to fit in. I used to be involved in organized religion and all I have to say is, “thank God I got out when I did.”
    Todd | Channelingmyself recently posted..3 Ways We Can Be the Person in the MirrorMy Profile

    • Hi Todd,

      I come from a long line of people who married outside of their faith across generations, and the one thing they seemed to have in common was a complete lack of interest in any organized religion. Of course I did the same thing!

      When I had kids I thought, now I will make sure that they go and have the experience, because I didn’t. But, I wasn’t willing to take them to synagogue and my husband wasn’t willing to take them to church, so we kind of got left in the same place as our history! Now at least I can teach them from a spiritual perspective and they can learn religion from a historical, education perspective – and who knows what they will end up embracing?

  2. Beyond my early teenage years, this has never really been an issue for me. For whatever reason, I’ve always been okay with being “me”. As a result, others in my life are okay with it too, with me not trying to fit into the round hole as a square peg. I am grateful for that courage. Because it does take courage to listen to your inner voice, your higher self, your Soul, when everyone else is telling you what’s “normal” and how you should fit into it. But it’s so worth it.

    I like that you mentioned the body and the way things “feel” as good radar. So true.
    Lindsay recently posted..What do you think about before you fall asleep?My Profile

    • Hi Lindsay,

      That is a blessing that you “just feel” that way. I think that is probably rare. But then we know you’re cool that way 🙂

      I am just now only really understanding what it truly means to acknowledge and embrace FEELINGS and what that really is telling you, from an intuitive perspective. Its a great way to cut through all of the nonsense and confusion that can otherwise leave us second guessing everything. I’m guessing that’s something else you’re innately good at doing.

  3. The Vizier says:

    Hi Julie,

    Yeah there are so many people around these days trying to influence you to do things or to think the way they do. I was brought up Christian and for many years I was told how to think and behave. I deferred to the advice, suggestions and commandments of my elders because I thought, hey, they are older, they should know better given their experiences. Boy was I dead wrong.

    Yeah I used to want to conform and belong. But after learning to think for myself and reach my own conclusions, I have never been more at peace. At least, I don’t have to be what I am not. It requires too much effort to do something so unnatural.

    It is important to listen to advice and suggestions in case we miss vital insights. But at the end of the day, we must come to our own conclusions and make our own decisions. Just because something has worked for someone else, doesn’t mean it will work for us. We are all unique. And if it is truly important, it doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion and to do a little research so we don’t make mistakes we come to regret.

    Thank you for sharing this lovely article!

    Irving the Vizier
    The Vizier recently posted..The Dangers of Pride and ArroganceMy Profile

    • Hi Irving,

      Agreed. I do like to get a second opinion, and while I am doing it I endeavor to be careful who I decide to ask…not someone I know will automatically agree with me and not someone I know will automatically oppose me! I noticed that I was putting up a big block toward some people and I had to ask myself,”Why?” Sometimes it was just that I knew for certain that their ideas did not work for me, so I assumed they were falsehoods, but that is not necessarily so. As usual you hit the nail on the head 🙂

  4. Oh I can relate to that Christian man! A couple of people in my family are VERY against what I do and for years I let that affect me, but not anymore!
    One aunt of mine has gone as far as not speaking to me at all, and deleting me from her Facebook friends. Did it hurt a little ? Of course! But you know? I cannot let a few people bring me down when I have a milion others rooting for me.
    It’s easier when you have support, but even when I didn’t have any, I kept on going b/c I knew that this was one of my deepest soul callings.

    • Hi Frances,

      I was stunned by that article. I just felt that if I was living surrounded by that kind of opposition I would automatically think,”I am in the WRONG place!” and get the heck out of there. I imagine that there is some kind of lesson in it for that man or he wouldn’t have created that environment. Or maybe he is meant to stretch the minds of those around him. Who knows?

      I find it admirable that you identified and pursued what you really felt was your calling, in spite of opposition. I suppose each of us gets our turn at this, and for some it is more serious than others. I was really apprehensive when I first started the blog and began telling people in my life that I was intuitive and planned to give readings for a while. You know, I only lost one friend in the process. My husband said,”Oooookay, if that’s what you want to do…” and clicked on my blog once a few months later, read the titles of the articles and closed it back up! LOL But he doesn’t oppose me, he just is silent about it, which is acceptable. And many, many others completely surprised me by opening right up to it and flowing along with it, which is wonderful. You just never know what you’re going to get!

      • HAHAHA! My husband’s the SAME way as yours is. He’s not into it, but is my BIGGEST supporter. I also have gotten friends of mine that when I’ve told them I do psychic stuff they were like you said, opening right up and excited for me.

        Funny how the support can come from the least expected people sometimes!
        Frances recently posted..Dumb belief be gone!My Profile

      • Hi Julie,

        A few years ago, I turned away from watching any news programs at all. I don’t even let my husband watch the news. I operate by this now; If it is that important that I know about a certain news event, the Universe will let me know. And that works perfectly for me.

        If it is that important that I know about it, someone will mention something or I will see and email about it. That keeps me from having to wade through all the other lies and garbage that is on the news. That just brings my energy levels down.
        Laura Warnke recently posted..Accepting Your Gifts as a HealerMy Profile

        • Laura,

          What a great attitude – “the Universe will let me know.” I don’t think I am quite that plugged in just yet, but when I think about it, I believe that is exactly what has been happening.

  5. Everyone has nothing to do with you–great line. You know, as parents we know this when we tell our kids we don’t care if “everyone else is doing it.” But somehow we still forget when we apply this to ourselves.
    Galen Pearl recently posted..You Can Choose Happiness Despite the ObstaclesMy Profile

    • Galen,

      You sound like the best Mom. I need to be more social myself and I don’t want my kids to suffer because of my lack of effort (when they are little you know it’s more up to us than them, we have to be willing to make the phone calls and physically get them there, etc). That has come front and center to my attention lately. Maybe having children is the universe’s way of having us hold a mirror up to ourselves for the lessons we still need to learn and integrate. Every time I say something to them it is immediately apparent to me where I fall down – there cannot be inconsistency or it is my own fault.

  6. Hi Julie,

    This post is very close to my heart, as to some extent for most of my life, since I was a very young child I have always been “hiding” part of myself, feeling like I didn’t belong wherever I was, and compartmentalizing the different parts of myself. Having parents who left strict religious upbringings, to do their own thing brought it’s own set of challenges for me as a child. Also, I think I also always felt I had to hide the empathic part of me, as I was often made to feel that I was “inappropriately” sensitive. I’m sure that these factors, combined with other fears made choosing a profession that is often in conflict with my core nature that much easier….all of which brings me to to the now….

    I know that truly being myself, and expressing who I REALLY am is one of the challenges of my current incarnation. I also know that I am gently leading myself to integrate the still somewhat compartmentalized pieces of my life closer together, one day at a time, and slowly releasing fears as I go. Hopefully sooner than later, I can achieve full integration of all of the pieces of myself without fear. (And I love teaching my children about what I personally believe in, about the spirit world…it feels so liberating and would never take them to any religious institution that would shame them, like I had to go through as a child.)

    Kara recently posted..Undermine Perfectionism, Just Start – Babysteps, Part 1My Profile

    • Hi Kara,

      It is wonderful that you consciously recognize what the big picture is for you and are actively working on it. I had my head in a hole for the first 42 or so years of my life and you would have shocked me if you said I was meant to do this work. Even now I am not “where I belong”, I am simply on the path toward something or another as yet to be revealed. Sounds like we are all headed in the same direction, maybe on different paths…I’ll see you in the clearing.

  7. Fantastic advice! I love the “everyone” rule you allude to toward the end of the article. “‘Everyone’ has nothing to do with you!” Booyah! That’s worth it’s weight in gold.

    Kinda like another favorite of mine: “Someone else’s opinion of me has nothing to do with me.”

    I have found that when I play to “everyone,” I’ve forgotten to consult the only one that matters–my own soul. When it comes down to it, this is *my* life, dammit and no one else is gonna live it for me!
    Steve Rice recently posted..Mouth-Open, Tongue-Flapping, Ears-Waving-in-the-Wind Dream Chasin’My Profile

  8. Interesting story about the Christian man although I am not surprised. I have been advised a number of times to join an organized religion. But I just could not because deep down inside, I know that there is something more than just blindly accepting what the religion tells me. And of course, in front of the eyes of these friends, I am the “lost” one. Yet, I have never felt a greater level of authenticity than ever.
    Evelyn Lim recently posted..How To Let Go of the PastMy Profile

    • Hi Evelyn,

      After reading your work, no one could doubt that you have found your own place where you are comfortable. That is what we all must do – find our own place where we access our soul, wherever that may be.

  9. Love it Julie. There is nothing more sad than the need for others to conform to your beliefs. Hello, wake up, we are individuals here with our own unique perspective on life and how we choose to live it.

    I have ended relationships with people who are conformists and expected me to live and be the way that they thought I should be. Life is too short to be a puppet.
    Justin Mazza recently posted..Do Spiritual People Get Angry and Show Other Negative EmotionsMy Profile

    • Hi Justin,

      I have found many, many likeminded people, and I can see the elements of similarity between the way we bandy about truths and ideas and the way that religions and cults work. The main difference seems to be that no one is insisting anyone else agree with them.

  10. Patti Foy | Lightspirited Being says:

    Love this!! We can always use such good advice.

    I’ve often wondered if it’s something inborn that gives people that fire or spark that refuses to be squelched. It seems some have more of it than others, just naturally. But bringing it to our attention can only help, in all cases, I think.

    Great read, as always.
    Patti Foy | Lightspirited Being recently posted..Timely Tidbits: Something Important? Begin It This Week!My Profile

    • Hi Patti,

      Thanks for the visit. Maybe it’s inborn. Sometimes it gets squelched beginning in the teenage or early adult years and takes its time returning to the forefront of our attention, usually when something so big comes up that it “will not be denied”!

  11. Hi Julie,
    Great job. Being the real you takes the pressure off having to conform to a version of who you think you should be by other’s standards….. you set the standard. ‘Feeling’ is a key as you have pointed out…being you has gotta feel right. Thankyou
    be good to yourself
    David Stevens recently posted..The 5 Deadly Sins…..How to turn them aroundMy Profile

    • Hi David,

      Thanks for coming by. It’s amazing how we can forget that it’s our divinity speaking out when we are being asked to just be ourseleves. You’d think it would be obvious but clearly it isn’t. That “conform” thing that we are taught as children really can stick.

  12. I believe trying to be what we think other people want us to be instead of just going our own way is one of the biggest mistakes one can make.

    It’s crucial that we do our best to throw our social masks away and be however we want to be in order to achieve true happiness 🙂
    Andrew recently posted..Why is “Be Yourself!” Such an Overused Tip?My Profile

  13. Hi, being yourself is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Everyone is unique in our little ways and it is all worth it. Thanks for sharing. Great Read.
    lynne recently posted..Test Your Financial FreedomMy Profile

Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge