Archives for January 2012

The Puzzle Of Synchronicity And Setting Personal Boundaries


“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.  The hands can’t hit what the eyes can’t see.” – Muhammad Ali

There were so many articles that I wrote last year about the various way FEAR. sneaks up on us and how to beat it into submission before letting it fly free.  Release of fear is a wonderful thing.

Not to be outdone, the universe had another big lesson for me that popped up to be dealt with before the year was out.  It was about anger, selfish acts, resentment and unjust behavior – and how you respond to them when you feel or encounter them.  Perhaps this is something some of you will relate to.  What do you do when this comes up for you?

Set Your Boundaries and Keep Them Firm

If you don’t, you’re apt to inadvertently give up all your power.

The strongest among us, dare I say especially parents and spouses/partners, can get beaten down under “obligation”, “necessity”, and “who else is going to do it if I don’t?” ways of thinking.

The way this showed up for me was a brilliant shower of arguments with others that took me completely by surprise.  They were brief, brilliant, and gone in a matter of a few days.

Here’s what it looked like:

  • Someone did not take action and I was left in the crossfire to fend for myself, even though it wasn’t my business and I wasn’t in charge of making the rules.
  • I was told I lacked qualities that were precisely the qualities the other person lacked (mirroring).
  • I had difficult conversations with people who refused to listen to the words I was saying and interrupted me to say that I was interrupting them.
  • I was stopped from speaking after I’d gotten out a word or two and the other person started berating me for being a terrible communicator.
  • I was let down by people so selfish that they didn’t care about disappointing children.
  • I was forced to accept help that I didn’t want, which created an argument, and then the help never came.
  • I had someone come into my home and take it upon herself to “re-do” work I had already done, her way – which resulted in a major inconvenience for me when I had to right it.
  • I was asked to make a long term financial commitment that I would be reimbursed for – except that this person always “forgets” when the bill comes due.

Clearly the universe was telling me that if I did not draw a line in the sand, I would be trampled.  More importantly, I would FEEL the EMOTIONS of being taken advantage of, and either shove them down or resolve them.  In resolving them, I was going to have to speak up and risk alienating people who I can’t just eliminate from my life.  In other words, I was going to have to deal with it, for once and for all.

Just as I was putting two and two together, I received a Soul’s Journey soundbyte from Tom Jacobs at that reiterated this major lesson for me.  He said:

The next step in your evolution cannot occur unless you find the right people to trust…you’ve had to fight to be exactly who you are as other people have overpowered you and disallowed you from living by your own value system…you have people who can’t let you be free enough to do what you came here to do…some aggressive people who cannot see you, who are only concerned with their own needs and who make demands on you…you must set boundaries of what you’re available to experience, not a line they can sometimes cross.

If I had heard it from Tom before I understood it for myself, it would not have made as much of an impact.  But, having it come the exact same day that I came to my own realization really brought it home for me.

A few days later, I was wishing happy new year to a friend who lives at a long distance and he said to me,”You are surrounded by people who don’t show you the respect that you deserve.  You are smarter and stronger than that and they just don’t want you to believe it or see it.”

That’s interesting isn’t it?  We all know that I was the one who put them there.  I chose to engage with them.  I was forcing myself to learn this.  Not them.  Me.

I could look at this as an opportunity to choose who I interact with more wisely, to learn to share, and to learn to integrate other people’s ideas.  And, I can learn to accept the truth that some people cannot accept the help that I offer them.  Interesting, I thought, that as Tom said, some people are here to test other people’s boundaries.  I have found them!  Now I must learn to live with them so I can do what I came here to do.

I am glad to finally put the Boundaries lesson behind me intellectually and move into dealing with it in a midful way.  You may have a different lesson than this, but I hope you can see the process:

If you recognize what’s holding you back, and you are promised the fulfillment of your mission as the reward, that’s a significant incentive to get it right.

 I usually find that when the universe screams at you to understand and move past something (sometimes by hitting you with a One, Two punch until you resolve it), you are going to need that for what’s next on the agenda, lest you miss it when it comes along.  Usually things like this are BIG.

So, I am excited to see what’s being served up next and quite glad to have that behind me. While it’s in the process of “going”, I will simply remember a lesson I learned long ago:


That doesn’t mean that we don’t “care”.  It just means that you have to know who you are and why you are there.  Then, no one has power over you except yourself.

Which of course, is exactly as it truly is.  Everything else is but an illusion.

Let’s all remember that as we move forward to embrace our personal power.

If you have not visited Tom Jacobs’ site and received your own Soul’s Journey Soundbyte, I suggest you do it post haste.  It is very affordable and may very well be life changing.  Promise.  Just go to and tell Tom I sent you.