Archives for September 2011

Soul Mates, Romance, and Soul Level Appointments

What is a Soul Mate?

The usual definition would be some romanticized notion that there is one person out there who is perfect for you, and when you find them, you will be completed.

Rubbish.  Garbage.  Nonsense.

You are already perfect just as you are.

How many times have you met someone and felt like you’ve met them before?  You feel like you’ve been struck by a bolt of lightning.  This person is IT.  You’ve found them!  Fate has brought you together.  You feel a magnetic pull toward them.  They “get” you.  There is no end of things to talk about.  The whole world looks different to you just because this person has suddenly made an appearance.

Or not.

There is a lot of science behind what makes relationships work or not, too – women actually choose men as marriage partners based in part on how they smell.  It’s a biological checkpoint that tells her if you will produce healthy children or if you come from bloodlines that are too close or incompatible.

It can turn out that it was a crush, or the timing was wrong, or when you got to know them you didn’t really like them after all.  Many times these turn out to be “unrequited love” scenarios, and when you do finally settle down with someone, many years later you still slightly wistfully think of the one who got away.

So, if there are many people out there who you could feel very happy with (there are), then why does this one stick out like a sore thumb?

Why do you feel such a strong connection?

Did you know him or her from a past life?

If you aren’t really meant to be together and suitable for each other, why did he or she show up?

These super powerful connections can be interactions that we set out for ourselves.  You may need to have an experience with this person in order to learn something that will be necessary when “the one” comes along.  There may be something wonderful for you in this relationship but there is a crucial piece that doesn’t fit, and you are meant to have the challenge to let them go for a good reason.  Perhaps they showed up at a certain time in order to reflect certain things back to you that you need to see, like a mirror.

Sometimes very important relationships are not the long lasting, forever kind.  That doesn’t mean that they didn’t play a very important part in our evolution.

I have heard and tend to believe that we have made some arrangements which are commonly known as Soul Level Agreements or Appointments.  Basically, before you were born you and the other soul made a deal to run into each other to teach each other some things and have a learning experience, exchange some “energy”.  Based on my own experience, I believe this happens with all kinds of relationships, not just the romantic ones.

How can you tell if someone is meant to be with you?

Here’s a story of someone who was not a soul mate or even someone to have a romantic relationship with, but it really looked like it.  All the signs were there, but they were false.

They went to the same college at the same time but never met.  Through a fluke, she moved half way across the country for work and brought in an old college friend, who brought in his college friend. 

The two became great friends.  She moved away.  A few years later, she got a job opportunity in a completely different part of the country.  He was still working for the same company, but in that different city.  She moved a few blocks away from him.  They saw each other every day, played sports together, went to the gym together, he took her all over the city and introduced her to his friends and life, but he never asked her out on a date.  One day she ran into him on the street, he called her name, she tuned around, and suddenly she got “that feeling.”

No matter how close they became, it never became romantic.  She moved away again and came back for a wedding.  While she was in town, he suggested she stop by and meet the new love in his life, who eventually became his wife and mother of his children.

When the door opened and the women were introduced, they looked each other up and down.  They looked so much alike, they could easily have been sisters.  Maybe twins.  They wore the same kind of clothes, had the same style, worked in the same kind of job, had the same color and style of hair.  Everything.

Suddenly she realized that perhaps this was not just a crush that she had that he did not return.  Nonetheless, they each went their own way, she found someone else and had her own family with someone completely unlike him, and they speak or email once every few years, if that.

You don’t have to believe in reincarnation, soul groups, soul mates, or soul agreements to accept this as a working theory.  Most people, if they look back very closely, can see there was a pattern that needed to be broken, some things that needed to be learned and understood, some mistakes and errors in judgement that they made along the way.  They will also admit to intense attraction, and can usually name one or two relationships that stand out like no other in their intensity.

Think back on that most intense and meaningful relationship or encounter and ask yourself, what did you learn?  Maybe strength, compassion, how to relax and have fun, or simply that you wouldn’t accept someone with an addiction into your life.  It could be many things.

You exchange energy in all of the relationships you have, not just the romantic ones.  You probably don’t know what you’re bringing to the table or that you agreed ahead of time to show up here now.  You show up, you do your thing, and you move on – sometimes the appointment lasts for a minute and sometimes it lasts for 30 years.  How simple or complex was the need?

The strong connection or the charge you feel is a reflection that this encounter was supposed to happen and provides something that you need at the time.

If there is a lot of energy to exchange, you will figure that out – those are the long lasting relationships.  This is something that can be identified in a Relationship Reading.
It can also be that we’ve run into someone that we have shared past lives with, so when we meet them, they are very familiar and comforting.  That causes us to feel like we’ve “come home.”  That doesn’t mean that we’re meant to spend this lifetime with them.
You’ll know it if you are in a relationship where the learning has stopped.  Difficult and tough relationships are sometimes the ones where you are learning the most.  If you are in such a relationship. you might consider if you really want to leave before the lessons are learned.  Are you truly willing to look at what this person is showing you about yourself?  Check with yourself in the mirror before you go, because you just may be getting a reflection back of yourself that you really need to see.  Otherwise, guess who you may just meet next time?  Another person who will repeat the same cycle or process with you!  You don’t want that.  Learn the lessons so you can grow and make peace.
Have you ever had a lightning bolt strike you in the form of another person?  Was it easier or harder to manage if you were already involved with someone else?  Was there “the one who got away”?  Or did you find your love on the first try?  Tell me about it in the comments and let me know what you think about soul agreements.
Image Credit:  my dear friend Kyla Gunter