Archives for August 2011

Waking Other People Up and Games People Play

My 200 pound best friend, Magic, willing to travel the world to eat you, if necessary

I had a strange experience last week with a client.  I had an indication that something was not right about the reading request, which was confirmed by PayPal when they flagged the transaction.  I contacted PayPal, and was assured that the flagging was on their part, not at the client’s request, so I went ahead with the reading.  There is no seller protection for intangible goods, such as readings.  I did quite a bit of work with the client, and they assured me that they would re-submit the payment, which PayPal had returned to them, by the next weekend – which they never did.

When I sent a payment reminder, they wrote back only that their guide was a man named X not a woman named Y.

I’d like to have gotten a head of righteous steam going over this incident, but unfortunately I couldn’t even muster one up.  I almost wondered what was wrong with me (I was raised in New Jersey where they have an answer for getting screwed).

I was in business for a couple of decades and have seen my fair share of “shouldn’t have happened, but it did anyway.” All I could think of was, gee I’d like to have my time back.  Since I can’t, I had to wonder if there was supposed to be some purpose to this.  What an odd thing to steal – intuitive services.  They do know there’s a pretty big penalty for that, right?

I am 100% certain of who their primary guide is (and no one has just one guide) because not only did I meet her, but there is an additional method of knowing for certain, and I knew for certain.  If a client wants to intentionally not pay and attempt to mislead me, well – what can I say?  I feel badly for them, but I don’t care.

How strange!   When did I stop feeling personally affronted by unethical, immoral, intentionally deceptive people?  How did I not know that change had happened?

What changes may have happened for you internally that you haven’t noticed because they haven’t been tested lately?

I know we’re supposed to love everyone, but that’s more of an ideal than a reality for many people, including me.  I’m accountable for me and you’re accountable for you – every minute of every day, across the lifetimes and forever.  I’m here to help people, but if they’re not in it for the help for whatever reason, then so be it.

I realized why it didn’t bother me, in spite of my own expectation that it would.  I had a flashback to a time in my life when I was surrounded by nasty, backstabbing, gossipy people all day long, every day, at work.  The energy that it took to just be in their presence was exhausting.  Since I don’t work there anymore, I have a ton more energy.   I am free now to work from home, which means that most of the time I don’t even have to see people in person if I don’t feel like it.  So having one person get into my field in a year and a half was insignificant.  On the other hand – maybe I’ve taken the whole isolation bit a bridge too far after so many years of going like the Energizer Bunny and racing around constantly.

This can be a lesson to the “over-givers” – remember to give to yourself first.  Be responsive and sensitive to your own  needs – physical, emotional, and spiritual.

“Stop sustaining others out of the misguided notion that it’s better to give than to receive, and recognize that only when giving and receiving are in balance will you truly begin to understand love.”
– Sonia Choquette, Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose

Moreover, there was a more general point I wanted to make.  Frustration with other people, especially in the workplace, can be exacerbated by your own open energy – which you can close up before you even walk in the door. It can also be triggered by your expectation of other people’s behavior, which is not your responsibility.  If you tend to want to change other people then remember:

 You Cannot Wake Other People Up 

It is not your job.  Your job is to be you, as fully and completely as you can.  Some people will notice your light shining in their direction, will want your involvement to some degree, and you can help them.  But mostly, they won’t, because they are on their own timetable (like maybe when they’re 40, or 60, or 80) and that happens exactly as it is supposed to happen.  By design.


Hurricane Irene is hanging out somewhere close to my east but is bypassing South Florida.  I am a veteran of many a hurricane as well as an insurance broker for two decades.  In the event that she comes your way and you are not used to getting prepared, please:
  • Do NOT make light of it – even tropical storms can be serious.
  • Listen to your local authority on preparedness and how to stay safe!
  • Don’t wait until the last minute – better to go through a lot of work all for nothing than to get caught with your pants down.
  • Put your insurance papers in a ziploc and keep them on your person at all times.
  • If you’re on a barrier island, why aren’t you inland yet?
  • Do not leave pets to roam assuming they’ll be all right somehow – they probably won’t.
  • Don’t forget to take your old family photos that aren’t digitized.
  • Imagine your home blown apart in smithereens and lying in 150 pieces all over your neighbors’ yards, and drenched – and be OK with it.  Lives count, not stuff.

Lots of love and good luck to my East Coasters XO