Archives for April 2011

Life Changing Decisions – Tests of Faith

Making good choices in the face of ugly scenarios – First, Get Clear

Lately I’ve had a big decision to make.  One of those huge, life changing ones where you want to pick a path and go down it with the certainty of a specific outcome. Problem is, after consulting with untold professionals and discussing every angle, I still don’t know what to do. I have never vacillated like this before in my life.  There is no one “best choice” in this scenario.  Every outcome is unclear.

My ego hates uncertainty and limbo.  I must have said to others hundreds of times,”Make a decision already!  Just pick!”  So I was not liking myself too much at this stage.

It’s not only my choice to make.  It involves others to a great degree.  But in the past I’ve always known what I wanted to do.  It was more a battle with others to come to a mutual agreement of how to move forward.  I have always seen the forest for the trees and also enjoyed my time looking at the bark up close and personal.

I just read a great article by Paul over at called “Why Most People Fail To Solve Their Own Problems.”  In a nutshell, to solve a Big Problem, he says to get it down to the one immediate action step you can take.  I love this advice because action steps inevitably get somewhere.   If you’re not one of those people who have a mental organizational chart with all of the Yes/No decision boxes in your head, read the article.

Analysis Paralysis or, Make A Decision Already!

I have taken about 100 action steps to solve this Big Problem.  And it has not gone away.  That’s because I had decision paralysis – I don’t know what I want the outcome to be.  It’s hard for the Universe to help you when you don’t know where you’re going. We’re getting closer though, and here’s why:

I asked my Team to please cut through any unnecessary steps on the path to resolution.  To present me with the people, places, and information I actually need, and eliminate the superfluous.  This  helped me to narrow down the field of choices.

Then the day came when I had Had It.  My emotions started revolting.  So, how do you calm yourself when your life is in turmoil?

I asked.  Very specifically.  I needed calm, clarity, and for something to start to happen to push me in one clear direction or another, because I just could not do it for one more day under such a cloud of confusion.  I know that you aren’t supposed to put a time constraint on any request to the Universe but I just needed clarity.  Now.

What happened?  That very day I heard from four people with:

  1. An offer of help
  2. An offer to buy
  3. Help on an ongoing basis, for FREE, and an immediate answer which narrowed down the choices
  4. A critical clarification

I would say that was a result.

How To Make The Decision and Get Unstuck

Let’s break it down:

Recognize the Fear

The best first step is recognizing when your anxiety level is through the roof.  If you’re at work, you might not stop long enough to even grace your nerves with recognition.  The way we race around the planet, getting all of our daily tasks done and carting our children from A to B and back again to A, with all of the activities, chores, errands, and sheer obligations, it can be overwhelming.
When anxiety comes calling, it announces itself.  Notice the actual tension, gut clench, quicker heartbeat, desire to stamp it out with Oreos.  If you can’t decide, you need more guidance and less advice.  Remember to just forget The Fear.  Put it to the side – that’s your ego. My mentor always says – you cannot fail in your mission.  You only feel like you’re failing.  So, reorientation time.

Find the Quiet and Just Be

There is this beautiful thing called Quiet.  Go find some.  There are people who Get Things Done and people who Just Be before they Get Things Done.  Be still.  Get very clear.  Remember to Ask (for help from your team).  Be very specific.  Allow room for the Universe to grant you a miracle (because sometimes, you’re going to need one).  Don’t tell them the How.  Don’t tell them to just send money!  Bottom line what you’re looking for.  Make sure it’s in your highest path and purpose and for the greatest good of all concerned.  If you don’t know how to Ask, or Heaven Forbid, phrasing your specific request is creating even more anxiety, ask me and I will send you some wording, a prayer of sorts, that you can insert your request into.  Let it go.  You’ve asked.  Don’t ask again or it’s like pressing the restart button…you go back to the beginning and it takes longer.  Plus, it’s annoying.  If you have to, go back and clarify, but try your best to present your request right the first time.

Then Get Things Done

The time is Now.  Full Stop.  We only have The Present (remember “The Present Is A Present”? It is.  It’s all you’ve got).  Insert Action Step Here.  Do not get stuck in The Waiting Place.
If All Else Fails, Remember Dr. Suess – “Oh The Places You’ll Go!”
This is my all time favorite book.  If you do nothing else today, read it online or get yourself a copy, paste it to your forehead if need be.  There is little else about how to solve and survive problems and surmount roadblocks that you need to know.