Is It A Burden Or A Blessing?

43-burden

43-burden

We are past the half way mark of this Mercury Retrograde in Libra/Scorpio and we are steeped in the drama of our trauma!

Everything wants to CHANGE now and be transmogrified and KAPOW, knock you off your feet, grabbing you by the throat until you finally, finally absorb, transmute, breathe it out, and get it.

I know when big energy whammies are in the works because all the men lose it.

Usually, let’s face it, the women, the emotional ones, go first.  In fact, they are shifting and changing and banging around from rational to irrational so often that it’s nothing new when someone starts freaking out and screaming in the office (at least at some workplaces which shall remain nameless).

But when the men start to exhibit signs of having emotional breakthroughs and breakdowns, that’s a sure indicator that we are collectively offering up a whole lot of trauma for release.

So if you are facing a place in your life that is so uncomfortable you just can’t take it anymore, it is such a burden and you feel you must throw it off your back or perish, know that you are not alone.  Everyone else is in it with you, and it will not last forever.  Give it two or three more weeks.  Face it, stare it down, feel it move through your system, and you will have your release.  It’s just a lot of pent-up pressure right now.

If you are having your childhood traumas rear up and you want to shout,”VALUE ME!  RESPECT ME!” or,”I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!” then great!  You are processing through it and you will soon be out the other side of the layer you were carrying on your back for far too long.  Technically, things come up for release on a schedule of sorts, so if this is your time then be glad of it.

The brilliant part, which we tend to forget when we are in the midst of cataclysmic internal shift, is that on the other side is the reward.

No, it’s not fun to have to process, sit with, and internally review our worst nightmares and fears and abandonments, but it’s just one of those things you have to do if you want to move through and land in the next part of your destiny.

Otherwise you end up kind of missing the energy train and getting stuck in the mud and the muck, and frankly, I’d rather do my work and feel the sun on my face and the lightness of being that flows through you when you reach the other side, wouldn’t you?

And oh, how we forget all the help we are getting on our journey through the pain!  We feel alone and bereft and confused and startled and mostly,”How did I get here?” or lately,”How did I get here AGAIN?!”

Everyone’s story this week seems centered on betrayal, abandonment, childhood trauma, spousal detachment, and that general feeling of,”I am completely alone in the world and everyone I thought I could rely on has disappeared or betrayed me or not given back what I’d hoped for.  I guess I have to rely on myself.”

Part of that makes me sad, but another part of me wants to pat them on the back and say,”Yes!  Rely on yourself first!  Know that you do not get your worth through other people, it is something that comes from your own soul, your own esteem, and nowhere else.”  That is the first step, to stop looking outside yourself for validation.

After you’ve processed that lesson, look around you and find all of the people who do love you, because they are there.  And not just people, but animals and nature and your favorite places, and Spirit all around you, always supporting you.

It’s interesting that a lot of ancestral pain dynamic seems to be active and being processed.  I wonder if we are in a time when a lot of that cyclical, repetitive family pain pattern that seems to exist in our DNA is up for release now?

This is brutal stuff and there are very many relationships that are ending because the patterns are being released.

People are getting down to the nitty-gritty, to the ugliness of what’s been buried, rotting away for a long, long time.

The bright side of this is that there are some relationships that will (probably surprisingly) survive this phase and go on to feel lighter and happier.  Those that don’t?  Well, they were meant to go away now.  Don’t cling.

If that sounds scary (because you had Plans!), remember that the universe to some degree does direct your course – there is such a thing as destiny – and if you cling to outworn and sad situations that no longer fit with your energy, then you are just dragging it out like ten years in divorce court fighting over the Crate and Barrel glasses from 1995.  Don’t do it.  Be honest with yourself and remember that joy cometh in the morning.

Dreams

The dreams have been amazing this week!  Symbolic rather than obvious and literal, lots of good chewy stuff to turn over in your mind in the following days.  I’ve had angels visit in dreams, moving the energy around.  I’ve seen friends and visited them just as I would in real life, if I lived closer, and we worked on their problems.  I’m wondering if you’ve been having astonishing dreams or doing any astral traveling lately?

Pettiness and Laughter

Personally this has been a dramatic week with my four-year old runner of a dog having his second surgery, and me having to make a plan without my husband here.  If I’ve been having lessons lately they around the themes of independence and coping on my own.  But I do have a neighbor who is a dog whisperer and she came to sit with him while he is “on restriction” for two weeks.  She cleaned my house.  She went to my fuse box, flipped a switch and resolved an electrical problem.  I stared at that fuse box twice looking for the one marked “porch” and I would have sworn to you it didn’t exist until she walked me over to it and pointed right at it.

She said to me,”I don’t know how you do it all!” and I just had to laugh and point at my head and make crazy circles.  Yes, I do go crazy and get frustrated from time to time.  I’ve become forgetful because I have too much on my mind, and most nights I’ve collapsed into bed exhausted from dealing with and processing everything.

Like you, I just do what I can in a day and I move right along.  But there was some pettiness that popped up into my life this week.  A group of five people who never complained to me went behind my back and lodged a complaint.  The complaint was so petty I was shocked that adults could actually operate that way, but I shouldn’t have been.  With everyone moving into their trauma lately, why shouldn’t they all act like children?

Now I will grant you that what they were complaining about was technically true.  What it lacked was context.  If they knew why I was behaving as I was – if they had stopped to inquire, to ask me, to express concern (oh, I know, I’m dreaming there!) – they might have been ashamed.  So after I was spoken to, and I made my explanation but no excuses, I did have the opportunity to let the ring leader know my truth.

Neither of us was right or wrong, we had our own versions I suppose of why we acted as we did.  But in the end, I realized something: I’ve been on earth many more years (decades) and I have a certain kind of experience and perspective that the other person lacks.  She’s going to have a baby soon.  When she does, she will enter my world.  Mommy World.  And it is going to kick her ass.

When it does it will be the job of every mother in the world to say,”Oh bless her heart,”  like they do in South.

As Robert Ohotto would say (and I’ve been listening him so much that his expressions get stuck in my head just like some people pick up other people’s accents, so I apologize),”I say that with all the love in my heart.”

The one thing she will gain, of this I am sure, is that all-important quality that brings us beyond the stage of childhood and into adulthood – empathy.

So let me ask you, what is it your turn to learn?

For those that are struggling and having breakthroughs right now, I’m sending you (energetically, of course!) something to amaze and delight you.  When you get your gift, let me know what it was.

Mine was a hysterical video that a blogging friend sent.

Demand to see Life’s Manager!  That, by the way, is you :)